(no subject)
i hate myself so much for this. i dont know if i could have been any stupider for not realizing this was happening while it was happening. i mean honestly how hard could it have been to realize that i was being a complete douche bag and if i didnt change i would lose you. i miss you so much. i havent had many dreams in my life but i've dreamed about you and me having the time of our lives every single night for the past 3 weeks and i wake up happy only to hear reality come crashing down. each day is a struggle to get through without wanting to burst out in tears and somedays i dont make it. everyday i regret what i did to you and if i am not able to put a ring on your finger i will regret everything that i so selfishly did for the rest of my life. i try to pretend like i'm happy but deep down i know that i am not. i just want to be with you and laugh and joke and have fun and be the best friends that we were before. i can't stop thinking about you no matter what i'm doing. i can't stop wishing i was with you right now, and i can't take not being able to talk to you whenever i want, which is all the time. i cant take knowing that maybe you could have found someone else but definitely knowing that that should be me. i wish i could go back in time and make everything right and change everything to the way i would do things if i get the chance again. that's all i need but it seems so far away. i love you so much.
I lie here late at night. I know,
Another sleepless night awaits me
Nothing feels the same anymore
I miss everything that we had
I can’t go to sleep without saying I love you
I can’t open my eyes without wanting you by my side
And I can’t live knowing I’m the reason for this
You say people don’t change
But I’m here, ready to be the first
Nothing will be the same anymore
I will love you more than you have ever been loved
And never take you for granted again
I realize how much I have hurt you
No words can exclaim my sorrow
You don’t deserve this at all
I want the chance to make things right
and show you that I love you more than you love me
And I love you so much
I lie here late at night. I know,
Another sleepless night awaits me
Nothing feels the same anymore
I miss everything that we had
I can’t go to sleep without saying I love you
I can’t open my eyes without wanting you by my side
And I can’t live knowing I’m the reason for this
You say people don’t change
But I’m here, ready to be the first
Nothing will be the same anymore
I will love you more than you have ever been loved
And never take you for granted again
I realize how much I have hurt you
No words can exclaim my sorrow
You don’t deserve this at all
I want the chance to make things right
and show you that I love you more than you love me
And I love you so much