(no subject)
So sorry that I haven't kept the updates frequent. I haven't been online as nearly as much anymore.
Anyways, my Thanksgiving was good. I got to see my mommy and my dad, which was cool, considering I don't see them that often...at the same time.
So about a week ago, I talked to Jonathan for the first time in like...a million years. God, I forgot how cool he is. I didn't realize how much I missed him either. He's wonderful :)
I don't want to talk about it. But I have to. I'll feel better.
In the early morning hours of Wednesday, the 15th, a really close friend of my parents died of cancer. In the back of my mind, I knew he was really sick, and that soon, he'd no longer be with us [physically]. But the fact that he was ill didn't hit me until I saw him lying in the casket at the viewing.
Kevin Terance Kearns
1967 - 2006
RIP
I mean, this isn't as hard on me as it is on my parents, but I grew up around this guy. When I was little, my parents kind of had this little group thing going on, where everyone would just hang out all the time. And as time went on, and I got older, everyone in their little gang kinda just...drifted apart. Some people they didn't keep in contact with, and some people they did. Some of the other people that they didn't hear from after a while did pass on, but I didn't really mourn their death as much as I am Kevin's.
His viewing was on Sunday, the 19th. It was pretty harsh. I walked in the parlor, and didn't really know what to do other than sign the guest book. After doing so, I turned around, and looked at the people that surrounded me. Then across the large room, I saw Kevin lying peacefully in his casket. Not wanting to face the fact that he'd passed, I quickly turned around and followed my parents around for a little bit. I soon got bored doing that, and I walked over with another family friend to look at all the pictures that surrounded his body that I tried to hard to avoid. Looking at the collages and the photo albums, I tried to hold back the tears. But to my dismay, a few tears slipped out and trickled down my cheek. Quickly wiping away the remaining tears, I turned around to greet some of the people that came in unnoticed by me. I went around with both my parents, reuniting with their friends, some who I haven't seen in over ten years. We all reminisced, smiled, and laughed at some of the crazy things that Kevin would do. Which brought back some memories for me :
About ten minutes after I entered the gates with my mom and dad to see KISS at Nissan Pavilion, I looked up, and right outside the gates were Kevin and Aneita [yet another family friend]. The first thing I saw was the cowboy hat that Kevin was wearing. Before the show started, the five of us pretty much palled around. About halfway through the show, Kevin and Aneita came out to the lawn, where me and my parents were. They gave me and my mom their tickets so we could go down into the pavilion to get a better look at the band.
****
Me, my mom, my brother, and my stepdad were all going home from the mall, and on the way, we saw Kevin and Ron [another friend of the family] riding their bikes though the neighborhood. My mom had my stepdad stop the car, to say hey. After talking for a few minutes, my mom pointed out one of Kevin's tattoos on his arm, which lead to a full blown conversation about the artwork on his body.
"Yeah, I was supposed to get a tattoo on my leg, and the night before, I shaved it, and it turned out that the guy went out of town! Man, I was so pissed! It took me three razor blades to shave my damn leg, and I didn't even get my tattoo! I had to walk around for weeks with one shaved leg. And it's STILL not as hairy as the other one!"
****
Me, my parents, Kevin, and a few of their friends from the old group were having a little party. My mom's friend's friend [who sooo didn't belong there because he wasn't part of the little posse that my parents once had] was cooking dinner. I was sitting at the breakfast bar when my dad and Kevin walked in. On the counter, next to me was half an onion. Kevin looks at it, and says, "John [my dad], I'll give you twenty bucks if you eat that onion." I sat there in awe, watching my dad eat the smelly onion. Sure enough, when my dad was done, Kevin pulled a twenty dollar bill and gave it to my dad.
****
When my mom came to visit me when she lived in Myrtle Beach, she told me that we were going to meet up with Kevin at Don Pablos. We were seated, and soon afterwards, Kevin came walking in and sat down across from my mom and I. The three of us conversed about all kinds of stuff. The topic that stood out to me most was music. At the time, I was really into punk rock, so he and I were talking about all different kinds of bands. After eating, we went out to his van, and he handed me four cds, and said, "Here...you can have 'em."
****
About a month after I found out he was sick, me, my parents, and Aneita took Kevin out to a bar. On Christmas. My first adult night out. How cool is that? But nothing too exciting happened, we all just hung out, laughed, and talked. I had fun nonetheless. And it was the last time I got to see him.
Kevin and my dad.
[L to R] Me, my mom, Aneita, my dad, and Kevin.
Aneita and my mom.
My mommy and me :)
I stood in front of his casket for only minutes, but to me, it seemed like an eternity. Looking at him, I thought to myself, It doesn't even look like Kevin. It was almost like I was looking at some stranger. Kevin had long, dark, beautiful hair. This man had short, grey hair. Which led me to believe that the real Kev would walk in the funeral parlor any minute, and say, "Hey guys! What's goin' on?!" But no; the stranger that I was looking at was the real Kev. And there was nothing that anyone could do about it.
I sighed, and quietly said my goodbyes to Kevin. Weeping to myself, I turned around. I walked a few feet away from him, only to turn around again. There, I saw his mother standing over him, and she said, "Bye Kevin. I'll see you tomorrow." And that was it. I turned around, and walked out of the parlor with my mom, repeating those words I heard his mother speak over and over in my mind.
As much as Kevin will be remembered and missed, an amazing amount of weight has been lifted from everyone's shoulders. He's no longer suffering. And he's in a better place.
Kevin,
You will always live in our hearts, and we'll see you again someday.
Until then, goodbye.
Rest in peace.
I feel better. But not all the way. I guess I just need to put this situation in the hands of time, and let everything work itself out.
In love and lust,
Lauren
♥
Anyways, my Thanksgiving was good. I got to see my mommy and my dad, which was cool, considering I don't see them that often...at the same time.
So about a week ago, I talked to Jonathan for the first time in like...a million years. God, I forgot how cool he is. I didn't realize how much I missed him either. He's wonderful :)
I don't want to talk about it. But I have to. I'll feel better.
In the early morning hours of Wednesday, the 15th, a really close friend of my parents died of cancer. In the back of my mind, I knew he was really sick, and that soon, he'd no longer be with us [physically]. But the fact that he was ill didn't hit me until I saw him lying in the casket at the viewing.
Kevin Terance Kearns
1967 - 2006
RIP
I mean, this isn't as hard on me as it is on my parents, but I grew up around this guy. When I was little, my parents kind of had this little group thing going on, where everyone would just hang out all the time. And as time went on, and I got older, everyone in their little gang kinda just...drifted apart. Some people they didn't keep in contact with, and some people they did. Some of the other people that they didn't hear from after a while did pass on, but I didn't really mourn their death as much as I am Kevin's.
His viewing was on Sunday, the 19th. It was pretty harsh. I walked in the parlor, and didn't really know what to do other than sign the guest book. After doing so, I turned around, and looked at the people that surrounded me. Then across the large room, I saw Kevin lying peacefully in his casket. Not wanting to face the fact that he'd passed, I quickly turned around and followed my parents around for a little bit. I soon got bored doing that, and I walked over with another family friend to look at all the pictures that surrounded his body that I tried to hard to avoid. Looking at the collages and the photo albums, I tried to hold back the tears. But to my dismay, a few tears slipped out and trickled down my cheek. Quickly wiping away the remaining tears, I turned around to greet some of the people that came in unnoticed by me. I went around with both my parents, reuniting with their friends, some who I haven't seen in over ten years. We all reminisced, smiled, and laughed at some of the crazy things that Kevin would do. Which brought back some memories for me :
About ten minutes after I entered the gates with my mom and dad to see KISS at Nissan Pavilion, I looked up, and right outside the gates were Kevin and Aneita [yet another family friend]. The first thing I saw was the cowboy hat that Kevin was wearing. Before the show started, the five of us pretty much palled around. About halfway through the show, Kevin and Aneita came out to the lawn, where me and my parents were. They gave me and my mom their tickets so we could go down into the pavilion to get a better look at the band.
****
Me, my mom, my brother, and my stepdad were all going home from the mall, and on the way, we saw Kevin and Ron [another friend of the family] riding their bikes though the neighborhood. My mom had my stepdad stop the car, to say hey. After talking for a few minutes, my mom pointed out one of Kevin's tattoos on his arm, which lead to a full blown conversation about the artwork on his body.
"Yeah, I was supposed to get a tattoo on my leg, and the night before, I shaved it, and it turned out that the guy went out of town! Man, I was so pissed! It took me three razor blades to shave my damn leg, and I didn't even get my tattoo! I had to walk around for weeks with one shaved leg. And it's STILL not as hairy as the other one!"
****
Me, my parents, Kevin, and a few of their friends from the old group were having a little party. My mom's friend's friend [who sooo didn't belong there because he wasn't part of the little posse that my parents once had] was cooking dinner. I was sitting at the breakfast bar when my dad and Kevin walked in. On the counter, next to me was half an onion. Kevin looks at it, and says, "John [my dad], I'll give you twenty bucks if you eat that onion." I sat there in awe, watching my dad eat the smelly onion. Sure enough, when my dad was done, Kevin pulled a twenty dollar bill and gave it to my dad.
****
When my mom came to visit me when she lived in Myrtle Beach, she told me that we were going to meet up with Kevin at Don Pablos. We were seated, and soon afterwards, Kevin came walking in and sat down across from my mom and I. The three of us conversed about all kinds of stuff. The topic that stood out to me most was music. At the time, I was really into punk rock, so he and I were talking about all different kinds of bands. After eating, we went out to his van, and he handed me four cds, and said, "Here...you can have 'em."
****
About a month after I found out he was sick, me, my parents, and Aneita took Kevin out to a bar. On Christmas. My first adult night out. How cool is that? But nothing too exciting happened, we all just hung out, laughed, and talked. I had fun nonetheless. And it was the last time I got to see him.
Kevin and my dad.
[L to R] Me, my mom, Aneita, my dad, and Kevin.
Aneita and my mom.
My mommy and me :)
I stood in front of his casket for only minutes, but to me, it seemed like an eternity. Looking at him, I thought to myself, It doesn't even look like Kevin. It was almost like I was looking at some stranger. Kevin had long, dark, beautiful hair. This man had short, grey hair. Which led me to believe that the real Kev would walk in the funeral parlor any minute, and say, "Hey guys! What's goin' on?!" But no; the stranger that I was looking at was the real Kev. And there was nothing that anyone could do about it.
I sighed, and quietly said my goodbyes to Kevin. Weeping to myself, I turned around. I walked a few feet away from him, only to turn around again. There, I saw his mother standing over him, and she said, "Bye Kevin. I'll see you tomorrow." And that was it. I turned around, and walked out of the parlor with my mom, repeating those words I heard his mother speak over and over in my mind.
As much as Kevin will be remembered and missed, an amazing amount of weight has been lifted from everyone's shoulders. He's no longer suffering. And he's in a better place.
Kevin,
You will always live in our hearts, and we'll see you again someday.
Until then, goodbye.
Rest in peace.
I feel better. But not all the way. I guess I just need to put this situation in the hands of time, and let everything work itself out.
In love and lust,
Lauren
♥