I don't know that it will matter to you, coming as it does from a stranger, and I usually don't leave anonymous messages in a person't lj without permission, but the passion inherent in your post has moved me to violate this prohibition and write to you and tell you that I fully understand what you are going thru. My cousin was in a car accident with a friend of hers who had been drinking, unbeknownst to my cousin, which resulted in her friends mild bruising and my cousins' 8 reconstructive facial surgeries, to date. The venom that welled up from inside of me was truly hideous to behold, but even worse to feel...I had never truly hated prior to that day, and I found it to be an unpleasant experience, by and large. The shockwaves produced by such an event are in some ways worse than the incident itself, affecting so many people in so many deep and abiding ways. All I can offer you by way of help is the knowledge that there are others of us out here who feel your frustration and quasi-impotent rage as acutely as you do, and would spare you such ugliness if we could. From what I read in your journal, you are a bright, sweet, refreshingly open young woman who deserves more from life than to suffer from such awful surprises. I apologise if my comment finds you unwelcoming, do to my non-lj participating anonymity, and I hope you receive it in the spirit with which it was sincerely bestowed.
Re: I'm sorry...grungergirl02July 1 2003, 17:37:52 UTC
your story really touched me thank you for sharing, i don't feel that alone anymore but this isn't the first time i've encountered drunk drivers i met my father when i was 13 he's been in jail 2 out of my 5 birthdays he was arrested 2 and a half years ago for drunk driving thank god he didn't hurt anyone he got away with a few scrapes and crumpled car he was arrested for a few weeks
one year later he failed a urine analysis he was arrested for 2 months during which was the most stressfull time period in my live applying to college, my senior year in high school, SATs, and him in jail
i bent over backwards to help him letting his dogs out 4X a day, paying his bills, explaining the situation to his boss
when it was his court date, my grandparents and I were there
the worst sight ever is seeing your father in handcuffs and shackles i wouldnt' wish that on anyone
now he's a year and a half sober
i can't associate with anyone who has every drank and drove because it's had such a profound affect on my life
alcohol is the reason i never knew him growing up he thought being at the bar was more important than watching your 2 kids grow
but now that i'm crying writing this i realize that the whole experience has made me grow incredibley even through all he's put me through i still have this undying love for him and always will
and come to find out earlier today, mandy's mom called me
she's got 15 stitches and a concussion she'll be out in a few days, week at the latest i appreciate everyone's support and god bless!!
Re: I'm sorry...
anonymous
July 1 2003, 17:55:57 UTC
I'm glad to hear that she's going to be allright...she's one of the lucky ones, as you and I both know. Not only is she lucky that she and her family were spared the horrors that might have been, but she is also very lucky to have a friend like you.
We only hurt the ones we love when we love ourselves more...putting other people first is a priviledge, not a punishment. Abnegation of the self is not the point....Legitimate Caring is. It's been very nice talking with you, Candy...you're a girl of rare common sense. Night,
I apologise if my comment finds you unwelcoming, do to my non-lj participating anonymity, and I hope you receive it in the spirit with which it was sincerely bestowed.
~Joe
Reply
thank you for sharing, i don't feel that alone anymore
but this isn't the first time i've encountered drunk drivers
i met my father when i was 13
he's been in jail 2 out of my 5 birthdays
he was arrested 2 and a half years ago for drunk driving
thank god he didn't hurt anyone
he got away with a few scrapes and crumpled car
he was arrested for a few weeks
one year later he failed a urine analysis
he was arrested for 2 months
during which was the most stressfull time period in my live
applying to college, my senior year in high school, SATs, and him in jail
i bent over backwards to help him
letting his dogs out 4X a day, paying his bills,
explaining the situation to his boss
when it was his court date, my grandparents and I were there
the worst sight ever is seeing your father in handcuffs and shackles
i wouldnt' wish that on anyone
now he's a year and a half sober
i can't associate with anyone who has every drank and drove
because it's had such a profound affect on my life
alcohol is the reason i never knew him growing up
he thought being at the bar was more important than watching your 2 kids grow
but now that i'm crying writing this i realize that the whole experience has made me grow incredibley
even through all he's put me through
i still have this undying love for him
and always will
and come to find out earlier today, mandy's mom called me
she's got 15 stitches and a concussion
she'll be out in a few days, week at the latest
i appreciate everyone's support and god bless!!
love
candy
Reply
We only hurt the ones we love when we love ourselves more...putting other people first is a priviledge, not a punishment. Abnegation of the self is not the point....Legitimate Caring is. It's been very nice talking with you, Candy...you're a girl of rare common sense.
Night,
~Joe
Reply
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