(no subject)
both sets of my parents went away for the weekend
so i'm stuck dog baby sitting
weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
running around in underwear is fun!
except
the last time i did it
i went outside to go smoke a ciggarette
and we have a privacy fence so i thought nothing of it
untill...
(suspensefull music here)
i see my neighbor (who i've seen 3 TIMES IN 8 YEARS) perched up on my hill in the back of my yard!!!
i threw my coke bottle at him, smacked him in the back of the head and threatened to call the cops
what the fuck
those were MY underwear ment to be seen by ME and ONLY me (and if i had a significant other, them too)
he looked at my underwear
why oh why do i proceed to make an ass out of myself when i see home depot crush #2?
i've talked to him once
and i said hi to him as i drove past him on my way out of the parking lot
HE REACTED LIKE HE JUST SAW HIS MOM
you know
that tentative wave and that awkward "but mom, my friend's are here" look on his face
and the "i'm too cool" walk-away
asshole
well
when i find a boy with
o- he will visit me at work and pretend he's a customer so i don't get in trouble
o- he will watch my stupid favorite movies with me even though they suck
o- he will laugh at my stupid perverted jokes
o- he won't make fun of me when i tell him i peed my pants because i laughed so hard once
o- he will tell me i'm smart even though i had to retake a class
o- he will argue with me
o- HE WILL HAVE AN OPINION
o- he won't mind kayaking + playing pool one day and a blockbuster night the next
o- he will let me pick the movie in the latter of the two choices above
o- he will comprehend big words
o- he won't make fun of my dream to be on jeopardy
o- he won't make fun of my pastime of reading the dictionary
o- he will snuggle on long car rides
o- he won't mind it when i use him as a pillow
o- the fact that i'm a virgin won't freak him out
o- he will like my parents (not a hard task)
o- he will say my art rules
o- he will shower
o- and brush his teeth
o- he won't be afraid to turn down hanging out with me to go hang out with his friends
o- HE NOR ANY OF HIS FRIENDS WILL HAVE EVER BEEN IN JAIL.
o- he will look at me with utmost admiration and tell me my face glows and my eyes twinkle when I laugh
o- he will say i'm beautiful when i'm sick
o- he will stay up late with me on the phone, even if we don't say anything
o- he doesn't talk about his ex girlfriends
o- he makes me laugh
o- he smiles, and it just makes me smile too
o- he likes to cuddle more than sexing
o- he says he loves me and kisses my forehead
o- he actually has a personality
o- i can act stupid, and he'll act stupid with me
o- he likes randomn things and randomn outings
o- hair that's in his eyes
o- he won't get mad when i go to movies with my friends when he's out of town
o- he brushes his teeth with me
o- he'll help get gum out of my hair when i sleep with gum in my mouth
o- he'll use my hair products then deny it
o- he likes weezer, rod stewart, bright eyes and music as much as i do
o- he lets me take pictures of him
o- he'll lay in the grass with me
o- he's understanding and lets me cry and get his shirt all messy like
o- we'll take picnics in the park only to have them rained out but we wont care and instead just play rain-tennis
o- he isn't dumb as crap, but he isn't a genius
o- he doesn't have to be face pretty, he has to fucking rock my socks.
o- we'll have long, deep talks at night, and talk about all that important stuff
o- he tells me i'm pretty when i get up in the morning even if i'm not
o- he lets me sleep on top of the covers even if he doesn't
o- he likes starbucks
o- he doesn't hide his feelings and tells me everything.
o- he wears shoes with no shoestrings.
o- he will lend me socks, but he fully knows that he'll never get them back because I am the ALMIGHTY SOCK MONSTER rawr
o- he will read too much
o- he'll stutter when he talks sometimes because his mind is faster than his mouth muscles.
o- he will pick pennies off the ground
o- he will share clothes with me
o- he will have a source of income because i'll go broke paying for the both of us all the time
o- he likes to see me naked
o- and wearing his clothes
o- he won't mind me taking his boxers
o- he will secretly talk to my family and friends about gift ideas for hollidays
o- he has transportation
now for what i don't want
x- he won't be homophobic
x- he won't work at mcdonald's
x- he won't be superlazy. a little lazy is OK
x- he won't be homeless
x- he won't live in a crackhouse
x- he won't do drugs (not including ciggarettes or alcohol)
x- he has transportation
x- his parents will love me
x- he doesn't want me to change
that is all
i will kidnap him to Eugoslavia and sex him all over
sigh.
ciggarette time
and i think my neighbor's home
so i'm stuck dog baby sitting
weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
running around in underwear is fun!
except
the last time i did it
i went outside to go smoke a ciggarette
and we have a privacy fence so i thought nothing of it
untill...
(suspensefull music here)
i see my neighbor (who i've seen 3 TIMES IN 8 YEARS) perched up on my hill in the back of my yard!!!
i threw my coke bottle at him, smacked him in the back of the head and threatened to call the cops
what the fuck
those were MY underwear ment to be seen by ME and ONLY me (and if i had a significant other, them too)
he looked at my underwear
why oh why do i proceed to make an ass out of myself when i see home depot crush #2?
i've talked to him once
and i said hi to him as i drove past him on my way out of the parking lot
HE REACTED LIKE HE JUST SAW HIS MOM
you know
that tentative wave and that awkward "but mom, my friend's are here" look on his face
and the "i'm too cool" walk-away
asshole
well
when i find a boy with
o- he will visit me at work and pretend he's a customer so i don't get in trouble
o- he will watch my stupid favorite movies with me even though they suck
o- he will laugh at my stupid perverted jokes
o- he won't make fun of me when i tell him i peed my pants because i laughed so hard once
o- he will tell me i'm smart even though i had to retake a class
o- he will argue with me
o- HE WILL HAVE AN OPINION
o- he won't mind kayaking + playing pool one day and a blockbuster night the next
o- he will let me pick the movie in the latter of the two choices above
o- he will comprehend big words
o- he won't make fun of my dream to be on jeopardy
o- he won't make fun of my pastime of reading the dictionary
o- he will snuggle on long car rides
o- he won't mind it when i use him as a pillow
o- the fact that i'm a virgin won't freak him out
o- he will like my parents (not a hard task)
o- he will say my art rules
o- he will shower
o- and brush his teeth
o- he won't be afraid to turn down hanging out with me to go hang out with his friends
o- HE NOR ANY OF HIS FRIENDS WILL HAVE EVER BEEN IN JAIL.
o- he will look at me with utmost admiration and tell me my face glows and my eyes twinkle when I laugh
o- he will say i'm beautiful when i'm sick
o- he will stay up late with me on the phone, even if we don't say anything
o- he doesn't talk about his ex girlfriends
o- he makes me laugh
o- he smiles, and it just makes me smile too
o- he likes to cuddle more than sexing
o- he says he loves me and kisses my forehead
o- he actually has a personality
o- i can act stupid, and he'll act stupid with me
o- he likes randomn things and randomn outings
o- hair that's in his eyes
o- he won't get mad when i go to movies with my friends when he's out of town
o- he brushes his teeth with me
o- he'll help get gum out of my hair when i sleep with gum in my mouth
o- he'll use my hair products then deny it
o- he likes weezer, rod stewart, bright eyes and music as much as i do
o- he lets me take pictures of him
o- he'll lay in the grass with me
o- he's understanding and lets me cry and get his shirt all messy like
o- we'll take picnics in the park only to have them rained out but we wont care and instead just play rain-tennis
o- he isn't dumb as crap, but he isn't a genius
o- he doesn't have to be face pretty, he has to fucking rock my socks.
o- we'll have long, deep talks at night, and talk about all that important stuff
o- he tells me i'm pretty when i get up in the morning even if i'm not
o- he lets me sleep on top of the covers even if he doesn't
o- he likes starbucks
o- he doesn't hide his feelings and tells me everything.
o- he wears shoes with no shoestrings.
o- he will lend me socks, but he fully knows that he'll never get them back because I am the ALMIGHTY SOCK MONSTER rawr
o- he will read too much
o- he'll stutter when he talks sometimes because his mind is faster than his mouth muscles.
o- he will pick pennies off the ground
o- he will share clothes with me
o- he will have a source of income because i'll go broke paying for the both of us all the time
o- he likes to see me naked
o- and wearing his clothes
o- he won't mind me taking his boxers
o- he will secretly talk to my family and friends about gift ideas for hollidays
o- he has transportation
now for what i don't want
x- he won't be homophobic
x- he won't work at mcdonald's
x- he won't be superlazy. a little lazy is OK
x- he won't be homeless
x- he won't live in a crackhouse
x- he won't do drugs (not including ciggarettes or alcohol)
x- he has transportation
x- his parents will love me
x- he doesn't want me to change
that is all
i will kidnap him to Eugoslavia and sex him all over
sigh.
ciggarette time
and i think my neighbor's home