where are you?
You know those movies or books where someone gets possessed? And like someone does something or says something and just for a glimmering moment, you see the real person who belongs in the body?
That is what the end of this pregnancy is beginning to feel like.
Most of the day sees me growling at people or being generally unpleasant. Then my beautiful children will do something that makes me laugh or giggle and the true me pops out. Scott has been on my shit list for weeks now. For some very good reasons, but also in an unrealistic way. Last night/this morning he crawled into bed and stayed away from me (smart man) but then reached over and rubbed my back for a few minutes. For just a few minutes there I appreciated him again. It occurred to me that just as he is constantly pissing me off, I can't be that fun to put up with these days. No one wants to sit and be told how much they suck.
Anyway, I have decided that when I have these lucid moments where my true self is peeking through I need to take advantage of them so the people in my life are still speaking to me once I am done with this pregnancy from hell.
I truly believe that I would be better off this time around if my hip didn't constantly feel like there was broken glass being ground in it. Add the electric bolts that shoot through it randomly and you have a miserable mama. I have been to physical therapy twice and she rubs things and ices it, but it only helps for a few hours. And I am constantly being told there is nothing they can do until the baby is out because my hips are all loose for the baby. Plus anything they could do might possibly harm it. So I have to put up with this shit for another month and a half. It's horrible. I wear this belt thingy, but it only helps sometimes. Some nights I can't even lay down without crying. Anyway...I also get frustrated because I can't just DO the things I need to do. It took me a week to get to the point where I could cut out the friggin special order I have for ETSY because leaning over the table just killed me. I did it last night, but paid for it when I tried to go to bed.
So yah. Frustration about my limited physical abilities and general moodiness are not a good combo.
Grr.
That is what the end of this pregnancy is beginning to feel like.
Most of the day sees me growling at people or being generally unpleasant. Then my beautiful children will do something that makes me laugh or giggle and the true me pops out. Scott has been on my shit list for weeks now. For some very good reasons, but also in an unrealistic way. Last night/this morning he crawled into bed and stayed away from me (smart man) but then reached over and rubbed my back for a few minutes. For just a few minutes there I appreciated him again. It occurred to me that just as he is constantly pissing me off, I can't be that fun to put up with these days. No one wants to sit and be told how much they suck.
Anyway, I have decided that when I have these lucid moments where my true self is peeking through I need to take advantage of them so the people in my life are still speaking to me once I am done with this pregnancy from hell.
I truly believe that I would be better off this time around if my hip didn't constantly feel like there was broken glass being ground in it. Add the electric bolts that shoot through it randomly and you have a miserable mama. I have been to physical therapy twice and she rubs things and ices it, but it only helps for a few hours. And I am constantly being told there is nothing they can do until the baby is out because my hips are all loose for the baby. Plus anything they could do might possibly harm it. So I have to put up with this shit for another month and a half. It's horrible. I wear this belt thingy, but it only helps sometimes. Some nights I can't even lay down without crying. Anyway...I also get frustrated because I can't just DO the things I need to do. It took me a week to get to the point where I could cut out the friggin special order I have for ETSY because leaning over the table just killed me. I did it last night, but paid for it when I tried to go to bed.
So yah. Frustration about my limited physical abilities and general moodiness are not a good combo.
Grr.