TM 287 - Prison
"In four months, you're going to be in prison." The statement coming out of his father's mouth threw him for a moment, and Linus strove to figure out exactly what he was talking about.
There weren't many illegal things Linus did. Sure, he pirated music, and sometimes DVDs, and he was known to speed on occasion, but he couldn't remember being arrested.
Clearly, the look of confusion frustrated his father. "You're getting married."
"Oh." What could Linus say? Not a whole lot, other than the requisite: "That's not going to prison."
"Yes it is. She's going to change, you know. Sure, she looks all sweet and bubbly now, but the minute that ring gets on her finger, BAM. Harpy." He brought up his beer and took a long swig. Linus instantly regretted having agreed to go out with his dad.
They hardly spent time together, and this was why. It always turned into a 'my whole life was ruined the day I met your mother' speech, and it always pissed Linus off. It wasn't like he was to blame for the marriage falling apart but the way his dad made it sound, it was as if he should apologize. No thanks.
Still, he tried to make him see reason. "I don't think Sally even knows how to spell harpy," he said. "And her favourite colour is pink. That should be a sign, don't you think?"
"And your mother used to cuddle puppies, and volunteer with the elderly. Fat lot of good that did for her. No, marriage is gonna trap you and you're going to wish you'd always looked the other way when she stuck that hand out."
"Okay, Dad."
"I'm serious, Linus. You listen to me, and you listen good. If there's one piece of advice I can give you, it's don't get married. You have a good thing going right now, you can walk away at any time. When that license is signed, it's going to cost everything you have to get rid of her."
Linus couldn't take any more. Speaking over his dad, who continued to prattle on about the end of the world, he said, "And I'm leaving now, Dad. Thanks for the beer, and the conversation, and I'll see you at my wedding."
If he'd had any doubts before, this outing erased them. He was getting married on Hallowe'en, and that was that.