Revisiting here
I came across this old journal and couldnt help but read the old posting. Thats the beauty of looking at your old writings. To try and remember what you were feeling or going through then compare them to how your view of the world is today. I have have always been retrospective in that sense for as long as I know.
Speaking of which, I have come to realize something. I am a liar. I lied to myself and those around me about something important. Me. I always present to people and allow them to see a side of me that is part geeky but a little dark. I am not half but a whole of this. I am a technology geek, i have a morbid sense of humor, loving father, gearhead, and a nice guy.
People expected things of me and I have always been not to dissapoint even though I have done so countless times. It is time for diplomacy in my life. I am father and a role model to my son. I never want to find out he wasnt honest because he thought I would be dissapointed in his decisions. I want him to be the best at whatever he wants to do just like my father wished for me. What parent doesnt want that for their kid, right? I have a dark sense of humor and where that comes from we dont know but you just have to accept it! I am geek in the ways that I see new tech toys, new software, or even a new way of doing something and I get goosebumps! SO fuck anyone that has a problem with this.