Resolution, and some other things.

May 05, 2012 01:03

Well, it's been 4 months since I made contact with Grounded again.  I saw her around my birthday, and then she went away on vacation.  I've been waiting for her to contact me since then, and she hasn't, which disappoints me.  I got in touch with her because I still had powerful feelings for her, left over from our time together 18 years ago.  Since ( Read more... )

movie i saw, resolution, grounded

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millari May 5 2012, 19:08:30 UTC
I loved reading this post. It felt so liberating for you.

You know, there's something to be said for just going for it and taking the leap and *finding out* where the hell that is all going if you can. For so long, I've had conversations with you about how you fear just jumping in and taking chances like this. And it's totally because you don't believe in yourself enough. On a symbolic level, I have to wonder if you have been in the past attracted to women who were "taken" by other men at the time because it was a way to prove to yourself that you were worthy, attractive, desirable. Like, if these people are willing to completely break down a relationship on your behalf, you must finally be able to call yourself worth paying attention to, no? (I don't mean to say that this is all it ever was, but maybe that it was a strong element back then.)

Now you are trying again with one of these people who fell into this pattern. She is available now, and you still want her, so I think that's a good sign that you are not using her to feel worthy. That's a good sign. I suspect it might mean that you think you are worthy. :) This post only adds to my speculations.

I really hope the two of us can get all the awesome things in life. I daresay we both just maybe deserve them. ;) Fear sucks, and I don't have to put up with it, and nor do you.

Go you!

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