The challenge of freedom. (A philosophical rant)
It's been said many times before, but Tyler Durden probably said it to the most people: You're not your job. You're not how much money you have in the bank. You're not the car you drive. You're not the contents of your wallet. You're not your fucking khakis.
People ask me a lot why I haven't/didn't go to med school, or some variation of that question. The reality to that answer is simpler than you think. Like many other things, while I am fully capable of doing it, I'm smart enough not to.
There is a de facto social motto many would-be-successful people have adopted from a cooperate slogan: Work Hard, Play hard. I think this is foolish on many levels, so we'll just throw out the fact that it's a cooperate slogan first. Work hard? Sure, while you're working you should definitely keep yourself to task. But Play hard? Did play become so difficult that you suddenly have to do it hard? Is play now the other work? Is there some standard of playing, that makes you better at it than others? I think that's miss guided. If you have to play hard, you're really missing what playing is all about.
What are you busting your ass for anyway if it makes you lose sight of who you are? Hell, I can get extremely focused on any task I do for pleasure as much as the next driven person, but it never makes me sad or miserable. Just generally more focused, and if it's done, then I'm done.
Getting Med Administration times changed was a personal crusade of mine, one many of my peers had approached and failed to revise before. But through pushing, and driving some of my comrades, and favorable happenstance they've now been chanced. Problem solved, done, it's basically off the radar now. I'm glad we did it, and when people find out where that change came from I usually instantly earn ire or approval, but I don't have a need to keep doing major things like that.
When I was younger, a lack of approval drove me as I aged to try and earn that from others. Somewhere in life, I realized that I was accomplished, and able to be as accomplished as I wanted to be. I didn't need input from other's on the validity of my actions. It's nice, and I enjoy it, but it doesn't drive my actions anymore. It's nice that the job I have allows me to affect people so directly, and I can positively affect them and see general outcomes immediately. One of the biggest compliments I ever really receive is when I'm specifically requested for things. It can get quite burdensome at times, and when people try and come to you with everything you end up having to find ways of sending them on their way to solve their own problems (otherwise you'll end up micromanaging them, which serves no one). But these are my things, I find my own reward in things that I do.
This drove my X-Fiancée nuts. I have no need, and generally no desire to rehash my day every day. It makes no difference if I had to hook up the epicardial/transcutanious pacer to keep someone alive until the code team got there, or that I was the only one respected enough to push adenosine on the floor. It's great for me, sure, but it would really take me too long to explain the significance of those things to a non-medical person so it's generally not worth talking about. “Your job's important to you, so I want to know about it.” But, my job is not my life. I do it, I like it, that's enough. I don't need someone else to understand it, which is great, because you'd need a specialized degree to comprehend it. Besides, that's what peers are for. Most of the important things in life worth sharing with your significant other don't, and I'd argue shouldn't, require extensive schooling to understand. I have no idea what some of my best friends do, and frankly I don't care. What the hell is an “Instructional designer” or, “whatever the hell Paul does”? Not really sure, has something to do with making educational programs and media, and something about tests/automation/programing (and working with idiots). That's all I need to know.
Which is not to say that Brian and Paul don't have great work stories, but any one can relate to giving a conference in Russia, traveling around giving speeches, or (in Paul's case) telling your boss exactly what you think/off. Hey, that's how we roll.
Which brings me to the duality of a life of leisure vs. a life of accomplishment. I like to live my life “over a beer”, which is to say I like to take time aside at regular intervals with close friends and comrades and simply sit back and keep perspective. Rehash my life and theirs and see what we can learn from it. I, quite frankly, want to be good at everything I enjoy. I'm by no means perfect, and the world frequently frustrates me. I do stupid things at times, things I could've avoided if I thought about it. Shit happens, circumstances maybe aren't as good or as idyllic as one might wish, but you adapt move through it and make it better. If I learned from it, then I'm better for it. We all are.
When the work or the play gets to be too much, I sit back with a locally respected food and a locally created beverage (Chicago style pizza and some Oatmeal stout if I'm lucky) a good person or friend and remember that everything else is all bullshit anyway. The world is my playground and when the swings bore me, I jump off. If I am burdened by weight of my backpack, I'll drop it and take in the view until it's instilled me with the desire to saddle up and move out again. It's people that mater in my life. Everything else is just the scenery. It doesn't matter if I'm a high priced lawyer, high roller, Nurse, Concession's manager, grunt, quality control proof reader, or data enterer - in the forest, in the city, in the desert, in Iowa, in California. It's all junk, and I just don't care about it. Europe is just another playground, and the pacific coast highway is just another trail head. It maybe the Technicolor in my life, but black and white aren't that bad.
It's the people, and the emotional content of our lives that matter.
Because I am free.
People ask me a lot why I haven't/didn't go to med school, or some variation of that question. The reality to that answer is simpler than you think. Like many other things, while I am fully capable of doing it, I'm smart enough not to.
There is a de facto social motto many would-be-successful people have adopted from a cooperate slogan: Work Hard, Play hard. I think this is foolish on many levels, so we'll just throw out the fact that it's a cooperate slogan first. Work hard? Sure, while you're working you should definitely keep yourself to task. But Play hard? Did play become so difficult that you suddenly have to do it hard? Is play now the other work? Is there some standard of playing, that makes you better at it than others? I think that's miss guided. If you have to play hard, you're really missing what playing is all about.
What are you busting your ass for anyway if it makes you lose sight of who you are? Hell, I can get extremely focused on any task I do for pleasure as much as the next driven person, but it never makes me sad or miserable. Just generally more focused, and if it's done, then I'm done.
Getting Med Administration times changed was a personal crusade of mine, one many of my peers had approached and failed to revise before. But through pushing, and driving some of my comrades, and favorable happenstance they've now been chanced. Problem solved, done, it's basically off the radar now. I'm glad we did it, and when people find out where that change came from I usually instantly earn ire or approval, but I don't have a need to keep doing major things like that.
When I was younger, a lack of approval drove me as I aged to try and earn that from others. Somewhere in life, I realized that I was accomplished, and able to be as accomplished as I wanted to be. I didn't need input from other's on the validity of my actions. It's nice, and I enjoy it, but it doesn't drive my actions anymore. It's nice that the job I have allows me to affect people so directly, and I can positively affect them and see general outcomes immediately. One of the biggest compliments I ever really receive is when I'm specifically requested for things. It can get quite burdensome at times, and when people try and come to you with everything you end up having to find ways of sending them on their way to solve their own problems (otherwise you'll end up micromanaging them, which serves no one). But these are my things, I find my own reward in things that I do.
This drove my X-Fiancée nuts. I have no need, and generally no desire to rehash my day every day. It makes no difference if I had to hook up the epicardial/transcutanious pacer to keep someone alive until the code team got there, or that I was the only one respected enough to push adenosine on the floor. It's great for me, sure, but it would really take me too long to explain the significance of those things to a non-medical person so it's generally not worth talking about. “Your job's important to you, so I want to know about it.” But, my job is not my life. I do it, I like it, that's enough. I don't need someone else to understand it, which is great, because you'd need a specialized degree to comprehend it. Besides, that's what peers are for. Most of the important things in life worth sharing with your significant other don't, and I'd argue shouldn't, require extensive schooling to understand. I have no idea what some of my best friends do, and frankly I don't care. What the hell is an “Instructional designer” or, “whatever the hell Paul does”? Not really sure, has something to do with making educational programs and media, and something about tests/automation/programing (and working with idiots). That's all I need to know.
Which is not to say that Brian and Paul don't have great work stories, but any one can relate to giving a conference in Russia, traveling around giving speeches, or (in Paul's case) telling your boss exactly what you think/off. Hey, that's how we roll.
Which brings me to the duality of a life of leisure vs. a life of accomplishment. I like to live my life “over a beer”, which is to say I like to take time aside at regular intervals with close friends and comrades and simply sit back and keep perspective. Rehash my life and theirs and see what we can learn from it. I, quite frankly, want to be good at everything I enjoy. I'm by no means perfect, and the world frequently frustrates me. I do stupid things at times, things I could've avoided if I thought about it. Shit happens, circumstances maybe aren't as good or as idyllic as one might wish, but you adapt move through it and make it better. If I learned from it, then I'm better for it. We all are.
When the work or the play gets to be too much, I sit back with a locally respected food and a locally created beverage (Chicago style pizza and some Oatmeal stout if I'm lucky) a good person or friend and remember that everything else is all bullshit anyway. The world is my playground and when the swings bore me, I jump off. If I am burdened by weight of my backpack, I'll drop it and take in the view until it's instilled me with the desire to saddle up and move out again. It's people that mater in my life. Everything else is just the scenery. It doesn't matter if I'm a high priced lawyer, high roller, Nurse, Concession's manager, grunt, quality control proof reader, or data enterer - in the forest, in the city, in the desert, in Iowa, in California. It's all junk, and I just don't care about it. Europe is just another playground, and the pacific coast highway is just another trail head. It maybe the Technicolor in my life, but black and white aren't that bad.
It's the people, and the emotional content of our lives that matter.
Because I am free.