The blind leading the blind.......
what a messed up day today. We ended up going upstate on a tour of new york that is going to take about three weeks or so. This "tour" is not like what is sounds. We are going to places that i have already been to see if i can try to remember anything about my roots or who i actually was before Florida. Like that is going to work. I was six or seven when i moved there.
Actually though, there are some things that i could tell you that have resonated somewhere in this black hole that i call a brain. We went to Rome, NY, where my first memories originate from. We drove past a place just outside of town known as Oriskany Battlefield, which is a memorial to some Revolutionary War struggle, or possibly even older than that, like during the French and Indian War or so. We are looking around and then certain images and sounds start surfacing in my head. I look over toward the spire, which in in the back corner of the field. It looks very similar to the Washington Monument in D.C., but not as high, maybe 50, 60 feet or so. There is a black plaque on the base, with engraving on it to relate the story or whatever it was that bloodied the grass of this now beautifully kept field, which is surrounded by these graceful and captivating woods with an entire rainbow hue of leaves. I remember trying to climb the base of the spire, and my dad talking to me, telling me not to touch it, and leading me and my mom and sister into the woods on a trail. At the end of the woods, there is another field, with kids running around and adults talking to each other and laughing. My family and friends, all enjoying each others company, having a picnic, sharing stories and drinking and eating. Kids run around at will, playing who knows what games.
And i start thinking, is this real, did this happen? My dad tells me yes, i was four or so. My sister does not remember, but my mother does. How could I? i was so young, and it wasn't like my birthday or anything. I don't even really remember exactly who all the other people were, except some family members who i still talk to today. But it was the images that struck me so badly, and i almost started to cry. I had a whole family then. lots of people who cared about my well being, grandparents and aunts and uncles and cousins and so on. All i really remember about my life is Mom Dad and Bri. Grandma Haley and Karen. i know nothing about my heritage, family history, my roots. Who were my forefathers? where did they come from? why did they come here? what does that make me?...that's the stuff i am going to learn next....that's what is the most important to me.
Actually though, there are some things that i could tell you that have resonated somewhere in this black hole that i call a brain. We went to Rome, NY, where my first memories originate from. We drove past a place just outside of town known as Oriskany Battlefield, which is a memorial to some Revolutionary War struggle, or possibly even older than that, like during the French and Indian War or so. We are looking around and then certain images and sounds start surfacing in my head. I look over toward the spire, which in in the back corner of the field. It looks very similar to the Washington Monument in D.C., but not as high, maybe 50, 60 feet or so. There is a black plaque on the base, with engraving on it to relate the story or whatever it was that bloodied the grass of this now beautifully kept field, which is surrounded by these graceful and captivating woods with an entire rainbow hue of leaves. I remember trying to climb the base of the spire, and my dad talking to me, telling me not to touch it, and leading me and my mom and sister into the woods on a trail. At the end of the woods, there is another field, with kids running around and adults talking to each other and laughing. My family and friends, all enjoying each others company, having a picnic, sharing stories and drinking and eating. Kids run around at will, playing who knows what games.
And i start thinking, is this real, did this happen? My dad tells me yes, i was four or so. My sister does not remember, but my mother does. How could I? i was so young, and it wasn't like my birthday or anything. I don't even really remember exactly who all the other people were, except some family members who i still talk to today. But it was the images that struck me so badly, and i almost started to cry. I had a whole family then. lots of people who cared about my well being, grandparents and aunts and uncles and cousins and so on. All i really remember about my life is Mom Dad and Bri. Grandma Haley and Karen. i know nothing about my heritage, family history, my roots. Who were my forefathers? where did they come from? why did they come here? what does that make me?...that's the stuff i am going to learn next....that's what is the most important to me.