(no subject)
Who knew moving halfway across the world would make it feel like I fell off the planet. I'm not really sure whether LJ as a social outlet has died or only in the context I used to use it, as it seems the entirety of my friends list is inactive. But I don't really think facebook nor tumblr can really replace LJ in terms of semi-private rambling. And sometimes I need to sort out my thoughts, as I really don't communicate them otherwise.
It's always strange looking back not even a year ago and being unable to relate to the bubble I used to live in, and how much my priorities (though perhaps not interests) have shifted. Sometimes I miss my friends back home, but being unable to participate in events and the timezone difference is quite isolating. Or I just didn't put enough effort staying in contact. It is rather difficult to relate to things you're no longer apart of. But I don't regret my time and experiences, even if it's something I may not fully go back to.
After losing my previous job, as much as it was a blow to my ego and difficult to pull myself back from, it did help me reevaluate what I wanted out of a career and my future. As much as I enjoy science, and as suited as my mind is for dissecting and evaluating information, it's a setting I really don't thrive in. Though I suppose it's not fair to base that entirely off of one negative instance where my ideas and existence was constantly devalued as a young woman in the research field. Sometimes things just aren't worth the fight, and perhaps that means it's not where my passions lie?
Teaching has been easier and also more difficult than I expected. And as trite as it is, I've learned a lot from my students. Mostly about communication, compassion, fairness, and self-awareness. It's been a frustrating journey, and not only do I feel more mature (while simultaneously learning how to lighten up) I also feel greyer in the process. I swear children suck the life energy out of you in order to grow.
I was given both the lowest level second year class and the most notoriously violent first year class, so at the beginning of the year learning to manage and teach was an uphill-battle, and the management was very little help. It was difficult to open my heart to children who kicked, spat at, pushed, and insulted each other on a constant basis, and there being no disciplinary actions available to me to reinforce any rules made matters worse. It was difficult understanding how to deal with a student who very likely has an undiagnosed personality disorder, and even more difficult knowing that he exists within a society that will never acknowledge nor treat his problems. But now after nearly 9 months with my students... after establishing a routine and a system that works and developing relationships with each of them, it's going to be difficult to say goodbye at the end of February. Even as I take on a new set of students for March.
I extended to a two-year contract now that my first is coming closer to an end, and I have faith that the second will go much smoother. I can't even say living in Korea itself is my reasoning, because it's not somewhere I'd like to stay forever even though now is fine enough. The money is good and the cost of living is low, and I enjoy the familiarity of the niche I've created for myself. I don't think you can ever truly feel like you belong as an expat, but I feel comfortable. I know many of my (ex) coworkers vocally hate Korea, but I honestly prefer it to my living situation before. There's plenty I miss about home, but after living in such a large city I don't feel as if I could move back to the suburbs. Especially not Missouri after they went Republican in the national election again. Whatever the case, I think continuing teaching once I move back to the US is becoming a more viable option.
And here's my stupidly adorable 3-month old poodle Watson dressed as a reindeer.
It's always strange looking back not even a year ago and being unable to relate to the bubble I used to live in, and how much my priorities (though perhaps not interests) have shifted. Sometimes I miss my friends back home, but being unable to participate in events and the timezone difference is quite isolating. Or I just didn't put enough effort staying in contact. It is rather difficult to relate to things you're no longer apart of. But I don't regret my time and experiences, even if it's something I may not fully go back to.
After losing my previous job, as much as it was a blow to my ego and difficult to pull myself back from, it did help me reevaluate what I wanted out of a career and my future. As much as I enjoy science, and as suited as my mind is for dissecting and evaluating information, it's a setting I really don't thrive in. Though I suppose it's not fair to base that entirely off of one negative instance where my ideas and existence was constantly devalued as a young woman in the research field. Sometimes things just aren't worth the fight, and perhaps that means it's not where my passions lie?
Teaching has been easier and also more difficult than I expected. And as trite as it is, I've learned a lot from my students. Mostly about communication, compassion, fairness, and self-awareness. It's been a frustrating journey, and not only do I feel more mature (while simultaneously learning how to lighten up) I also feel greyer in the process. I swear children suck the life energy out of you in order to grow.
I was given both the lowest level second year class and the most notoriously violent first year class, so at the beginning of the year learning to manage and teach was an uphill-battle, and the management was very little help. It was difficult to open my heart to children who kicked, spat at, pushed, and insulted each other on a constant basis, and there being no disciplinary actions available to me to reinforce any rules made matters worse. It was difficult understanding how to deal with a student who very likely has an undiagnosed personality disorder, and even more difficult knowing that he exists within a society that will never acknowledge nor treat his problems. But now after nearly 9 months with my students... after establishing a routine and a system that works and developing relationships with each of them, it's going to be difficult to say goodbye at the end of February. Even as I take on a new set of students for March.
I extended to a two-year contract now that my first is coming closer to an end, and I have faith that the second will go much smoother. I can't even say living in Korea itself is my reasoning, because it's not somewhere I'd like to stay forever even though now is fine enough. The money is good and the cost of living is low, and I enjoy the familiarity of the niche I've created for myself. I don't think you can ever truly feel like you belong as an expat, but I feel comfortable. I know many of my (ex) coworkers vocally hate Korea, but I honestly prefer it to my living situation before. There's plenty I miss about home, but after living in such a large city I don't feel as if I could move back to the suburbs. Especially not Missouri after they went Republican in the national election again. Whatever the case, I think continuing teaching once I move back to the US is becoming a more viable option.
And here's my stupidly adorable 3-month old poodle Watson dressed as a reindeer.