Contemplations
Yea I know it's been ages, but please spare me the welcome back's....
So I've been hanging out with that girl for two months already, and it's going well so far. We've spent a lot of intimate time with each other. She's unlike any girl that I've been with, including Mela. However, it was just a matter of time before that spirit of jealousy overcame me. Before I hung out with her back in September, she had been hanging out with this other guy. The first time I hung out with her, I heard about this and confronted her about it and she said that she wasn't in love or anything; I took that as that she wasn't interested in a relationship or anything like that. Still, I'm worried. I've seen recent comments that they left each other on their Myspace profiles that have made me more suspicious...I'm concerned that they're more than just friends...I'm worried that while I'm in Cuba for seven days, they might get closer with each other, and that when I come back home, she would say to me that she's going out with him and such...that would break my heart a lot because I have a lot of good chemistry with her. I've always wanted a girlfriend in my life, a girl that I would love to share my happiness with and to make her extremely glad and to always have her back. This girl is too easy of an opportunity to let pass by. We've bonded so intimately. If she hooked up with that guy or any other, I couldn't bring myself to keep on being friends with her; I would be so pissed off. And please do NOT tell me that if I really love her, I should be happy that she's dating someone. That's a load of bullshit. With some exceptions, if you really like someone, it's better to show that person that you feel that way---by any means necessary---than to be fake and say that you're happy for the two of them.
I am also aware that my jealousy could destroy my friendships with others. If I like a girl and one of my friends ends up hooking up with her, there's no way in hell that I'm gonna be happy for them. Period. I know you've been a great friend to me and all, but I also like that girl.
I am fully aware that I'm cursed to be jealous, but I love it.
So I've been hanging out with that girl for two months already, and it's going well so far. We've spent a lot of intimate time with each other. She's unlike any girl that I've been with, including Mela. However, it was just a matter of time before that spirit of jealousy overcame me. Before I hung out with her back in September, she had been hanging out with this other guy. The first time I hung out with her, I heard about this and confronted her about it and she said that she wasn't in love or anything; I took that as that she wasn't interested in a relationship or anything like that. Still, I'm worried. I've seen recent comments that they left each other on their Myspace profiles that have made me more suspicious...I'm concerned that they're more than just friends...I'm worried that while I'm in Cuba for seven days, they might get closer with each other, and that when I come back home, she would say to me that she's going out with him and such...that would break my heart a lot because I have a lot of good chemistry with her. I've always wanted a girlfriend in my life, a girl that I would love to share my happiness with and to make her extremely glad and to always have her back. This girl is too easy of an opportunity to let pass by. We've bonded so intimately. If she hooked up with that guy or any other, I couldn't bring myself to keep on being friends with her; I would be so pissed off. And please do NOT tell me that if I really love her, I should be happy that she's dating someone. That's a load of bullshit. With some exceptions, if you really like someone, it's better to show that person that you feel that way---by any means necessary---than to be fake and say that you're happy for the two of them.
I am also aware that my jealousy could destroy my friendships with others. If I like a girl and one of my friends ends up hooking up with her, there's no way in hell that I'm gonna be happy for them. Period. I know you've been a great friend to me and all, but I also like that girl.
I am fully aware that I'm cursed to be jealous, but I love it.