So sad today.
Sorry I haven’t written in awhile but a lot has been going on. I’m only going to write about one of them. I’m not very happy right now. I’m feeling a lot of things right now thanks to two phone conversation with my mom today and other ones the pest two weeks. After each of the conversation today left me feeling, unattractive, like I don’t know anything, sad, tied of this shit, and like I can’t do anything right. Well last week my mom and dad both called me fat. Not only did they call me fat they had a whole conversation about what I should be doing to not get fatter and lose weight. Also they told me talked about me getting winder then I am tall. This didn’t sit well with me. Then when I went home for the weekend they told me over dinner that if you eat some Meat and Veggie I should be able to lose weight. I didn’t say anything after that I didn’t want to get into it.
Then a week before that my mom brought up my ex and talked about that with me and how she thinks I should give him another chance. How that he is the one for me and won’t get me pregnant because his mom would yell at him. It didn’t make much since to me. I don’t want to date him but I did want to be friends with him. Then when I went home this weekend she was asking me lots of questions about him. I just got up and walked away. It left me feeling lots of things. She also said some other things that left me feeling not good enough, or like things won’t work out. I feel so sad when I got home and spent too much time by myself. I was feeling lots of things.
Today I was on the phone with my mom today and she made me feel very upset. I had to call the tax people to figure out what forms I needed because when I worked at the YMCA they never took taxes out of my check. So when I told my mom what they said she told me that wasn’t right and I need to call them again because I need to have certain forms. I told her what I was told and that was not right. Yesterday she didn’t know what I needed so she told me to call the tax people and now today she knows that I’m wrong and I need more stuff that they didn’t give me. It made me so upset that I just wanted to scream and cry when I got off the phone. Later I broke the string off my closet light and didn’t know how to fix it so I called my dad to see if he could fix it and said I broke it good. I need to have the fixit man for this building come and fix it. Which then lead to other conversations about other things? I just sat on the phone and said yep ok because I didn’t want to hear it. It left me feeling even worse then I was all ready.
Today was not a good day for me. I feel so depressed right now. I feel like whatever I do it won’t be good enough, that I’m always going to be wrong, that nothings going to work out, I feel sad, ugly, alone, depressed, and like I’ll mess things up.
I could really use something right now. I just hope that tomorrow is better and they don’t keep this stuff up. I am going out with them this Saturday night.
Then a week before that my mom brought up my ex and talked about that with me and how she thinks I should give him another chance. How that he is the one for me and won’t get me pregnant because his mom would yell at him. It didn’t make much since to me. I don’t want to date him but I did want to be friends with him. Then when I went home this weekend she was asking me lots of questions about him. I just got up and walked away. It left me feeling lots of things. She also said some other things that left me feeling not good enough, or like things won’t work out. I feel so sad when I got home and spent too much time by myself. I was feeling lots of things.
Today I was on the phone with my mom today and she made me feel very upset. I had to call the tax people to figure out what forms I needed because when I worked at the YMCA they never took taxes out of my check. So when I told my mom what they said she told me that wasn’t right and I need to call them again because I need to have certain forms. I told her what I was told and that was not right. Yesterday she didn’t know what I needed so she told me to call the tax people and now today she knows that I’m wrong and I need more stuff that they didn’t give me. It made me so upset that I just wanted to scream and cry when I got off the phone. Later I broke the string off my closet light and didn’t know how to fix it so I called my dad to see if he could fix it and said I broke it good. I need to have the fixit man for this building come and fix it. Which then lead to other conversations about other things? I just sat on the phone and said yep ok because I didn’t want to hear it. It left me feeling even worse then I was all ready.
Today was not a good day for me. I feel so depressed right now. I feel like whatever I do it won’t be good enough, that I’m always going to be wrong, that nothings going to work out, I feel sad, ugly, alone, depressed, and like I’ll mess things up.
I could really use something right now. I just hope that tomorrow is better and they don’t keep this stuff up. I am going out with them this Saturday night.