ugh
Twice today I have tried to update my journal. Twice LJ has fucked up and erased everything I wrote. This service USED to be dependable. Fuck... almost seems moot to write, twice already I poured my heart into words.
I don't believe in anything anymore. I've lost my faith in the relative goodness of humanity. I don't know who I am, or what I'm doing, nor do I really know anyone around me. Chaos, pure chaos. Why does everyone keep telling me I'm not like I was? Maybe I've always been one of those people who was just who people wanted to be. Maybe I have no depth or soul.
I went somewhere yesterday I hadn't gone in years. Don't know why, but I felt like I was looking for something. I didn't find it, the places stayed the same, but no one was left. I knew everyone was already gone. I'm afraid of time, its passing to quickly, things keep changing. How much of it was really real to begin with tho? You can't trust your emotions, you can trust others, what can you trust in this life?
Yesterday I found myself longing for the past. I'd give everything to spend one more night under the stars playing on the swings, our youth and innocence still largely intact. A eauphoria broken only by the sound of the last bus back to town.
I don't believe in anything anymore. I've lost my faith in the relative goodness of humanity. I don't know who I am, or what I'm doing, nor do I really know anyone around me. Chaos, pure chaos. Why does everyone keep telling me I'm not like I was? Maybe I've always been one of those people who was just who people wanted to be. Maybe I have no depth or soul.
I went somewhere yesterday I hadn't gone in years. Don't know why, but I felt like I was looking for something. I didn't find it, the places stayed the same, but no one was left. I knew everyone was already gone. I'm afraid of time, its passing to quickly, things keep changing. How much of it was really real to begin with tho? You can't trust your emotions, you can trust others, what can you trust in this life?
Yesterday I found myself longing for the past. I'd give everything to spend one more night under the stars playing on the swings, our youth and innocence still largely intact. A eauphoria broken only by the sound of the last bus back to town.