Save me from the nothing I've become... bring me to life...

[likely_evil]

Samael was trying to assimilate, god knows he was trying. He was out of the mission and in his own place. He had gotten a job working at a book store; peaty menial work but it earned him a paycheck and kept food in his fridge and the roof over his head. Abby brought money in as well, and Samael didn't ask how or where. As long as she stayed

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[hasperkynipples]

Dean didn't know how he was supposed to digest all of this. How he was supposed to respond to any of this. All these things his brother said he had done, the person he though Lilith was trying to turn him into, he wanted to think that Sam was lying. That he was just saying these things to scare him, but when it came to the emotions that were going with them -- he didn't think that his brother was lying. And he knew when his brother was lying.

He didn't know what Sam wanted him to do though. He wasn't sure it was his place to be forgiving him for the things he'd done, when none of those things were done to him. But he wasn't going to leave his brother crying on the floor. He wasn't completely heartless.

He moved forward, sliding to his knees next to him, and putting an arm around his shoulders, pulling him closer. "It's okay, Sammy. It'll be okay, alright? We'll work it out."

It was the first time he'd actually called Sam "Sammy" since he'd gotten back, and he wasn't sure how often he'd go back to doing it -- that might cause a bit too much confusion -- but for right now, it seemed to be what Sam needed.

[likely_evil]

For all the arrogance and pride Samael carried, the moment Dean pulled him into the hug and the word "Sammy" came from his lips, he broke and just curled into his brother, clinging to him for dear life.

[hasperkynipples]

Dean didn't let go, just closed his eyes as he held his brother close, letting him get it all out as best he could. It had been a while since he'd had Sam break down like this, but comforting his brother was kind of like riding a bike. You never really forgot how it worked.

[likely_evil]

"I don't want to be a demon anymore, Dean," Samael managed to whimper between heavy breaths.

[hasperkynipples]

"You're not a demon, Sammy," Dean said gently, rubbing his back lightly. "You're human. Just like me. Doesn't matter what you've done down there -- you're human."

[likely_evil]

"In body. I don't... I don't remember how to be... "

[hasperkynipples]

"We'll figure it out," Dean said softly. "Listen to me, alright? The fact that you told me all this? Means your a bit more human than you think. A demon wouldn't have cared. So that already means you're a step in the right direction."

[likely_evil]

Samael looked up at Dean, and nodded a bit. "I can still hear them screaming at night... I don't know how to block it out."

[hasperkynipples]

Dean considered that for a moment, before tilting his head to the side slightly. "There's probably some kind of charm for that -- for nightmares I mean. Or we could talk to a psychic, see if they can help with the memories somehow. We'll talk to Bobby -- maybe he knows somebody."

[likely_evil]

He shook his head. "I don't want Bobby to know. He'll hate me."

[hasperkynipples]

"We don't have to tell him everything," Dean said with a shrug. "Just say you're having pretty bad nightmares, see if he knows anything that'll help." He paused for a moment, before looking over at his brother. "And he wouldn't hate you, Sam. He knows this are different down there."

[likely_evil]

"But I still made the choices, Dean. And if this is what I became down there, I don't want to think about what she would have turned you into."

[hasperkynipples]

Dean's jaw clenched slightly, before shaking it off. "Let's not worry about that, okay? Let's just focus on getting you better."

[likely_evil]

Samael nodded, just holding Dean still. "She's going to come for me..." he said softly. "I need to get strong enough to say no."

[hasperkynipples]

"She comes for you, she'll have to go through me first." Dean gripped Sam's shoulders slightly, emphasizing that that was a promise. He wasn't losing his brother a third time. He might not get him back after that.

[likely_evil]

But that gave Samael a moment of fear. "But your family... I can't ask you to do that."