Feb 08, 2007 10:22
Most of you know that I was diagnosed with ADD my sophomore year at Furman. I was prescribed Straterra (BAD NEWS) and then switched to Ritalin. I stopped taking it when I left school. So. I've been trying for the past month to get back on it, but it's been an uphill battle. So much paperwork, "you haven't been here in over a year so we can't help you", missed calls, miscommunication, so on and so forth. My counselor said she was working to get me a temporary prescription until we could get everything all worked out. Yesterday I had an appointment with the Health Services people and the doctor I talked to wrote me a prescription for a ten-day supply of Ritalin. Wow, I couldn't believe how excited I was! Finally, finally, I could get on track, catch up, stay focused. I arranged a ride to the CVS after my last class to get it filled the same day.
I went to the coffee shop after class to wait for my ride. I was telling Lauren (the cafe's owner and fellow rugby player) about it, reached into my pocket to get the prescription out, and realized it wasn't there. It had fallen out somewhere. Next followed a 45 minute panicked search of the entire campus, every class, the dining hall, everywhere. I went back to the clinic to see if he would write another prescription and was told that because Ritalin is a controlled substance I would have to wait thirty days to get a new one. I felt like someone had stolen all of my hope. I was furious with myself. I made my way back to the coffee shop, picked up my backpack, told AJ and D thanks for coming but I didn't need a ride, and left. I didn't know what to do. I had been so close. I could feel myself crumbling. A friend who I'd been texting the whole time invited me over, so I headed to her dorm. My mind was trying to understand... I know it sounds stupid, but it felt like God was doing this on purpose, so I would realize how much I was relying on medication to fix my problems. Or something. I got to her room and she held me while I cried. I eventually fell asleep for a few hours and felt better when I woke up. I figured I could talk to my counselor this morning, explain things, and work something out.
But my appointment was cancelled because my counselor is sick. I mean really. What next? I know this seems like a huge deal because it's happening now and next week it'll probably blow over, but please. I just want some help. Agh, enough emo posting for today.
On a good note, I had a fantastic run yesterday. I ran all over the campus in the dark after rugby practice. The weather was great and it felt phenomenal to get out and go. I felt loose and strong, like I used to. Some hope returns. So yeah. Wish me luck. Off to class to take an exam I haven't studied for yet.
Some things you can't take back.