(no subject)
I have really been regretting something lately... I feel like I wasted a good portion of college not being serious enough about saxophone. How many entries did I have that were related to saxophone stress? Countless. But in retrospect, I could've just shut up, got in a practice room, and improved. I never would've been a really awesome player like some of the other kids my year. But I could've been a solid average had I put the time in. And I didn't. I made excuses. I am regretting that I wasted 4 years with one of the country's top saxophone teachers, and now I'll never have that opportunity again. I definitely couldn't get into any decent grad school for saxophone, not that it's what I want, but the truth is sad to me.
My efforts were more focused on academically-related things. Things with grades. Some extracurricular stuff too... If I hadn't done the RA thing, I could've devoted myself a lot more junior year. Was my life ever really that overwhelming that I couldn't find 2 hours a day to practice? No. I remember spending countless nights from freshman through senior years on IM, procrastinating other work, or going to get a late night snack. Other people were practicing. I was wasting time. Yeah, I had more classes, but so did a lot of other people. And a lot of other people didn't use that as an excuse.
Not to say that I regret college altogether - I am happy that I did well in the music ed department, and I think my hard work in that area did pay off.
It's just frustrating to fully realize I blew a really good opportunity. I don't believe I would be a better band teacher as a result... But how many people get to study saxophone at NU? And I was one of them and really didn't appreciate it?
There's nothing I can do to change that. I find myself really liking some etudes I'm working on now. I should find an old repertoire list and buy some easier pieces. Not for anyone, just for me. A lame attempt to change 4 years.
My efforts were more focused on academically-related things. Things with grades. Some extracurricular stuff too... If I hadn't done the RA thing, I could've devoted myself a lot more junior year. Was my life ever really that overwhelming that I couldn't find 2 hours a day to practice? No. I remember spending countless nights from freshman through senior years on IM, procrastinating other work, or going to get a late night snack. Other people were practicing. I was wasting time. Yeah, I had more classes, but so did a lot of other people. And a lot of other people didn't use that as an excuse.
Not to say that I regret college altogether - I am happy that I did well in the music ed department, and I think my hard work in that area did pay off.
It's just frustrating to fully realize I blew a really good opportunity. I don't believe I would be a better band teacher as a result... But how many people get to study saxophone at NU? And I was one of them and really didn't appreciate it?
There's nothing I can do to change that. I find myself really liking some etudes I'm working on now. I should find an old repertoire list and buy some easier pieces. Not for anyone, just for me. A lame attempt to change 4 years.