(no subject)
work tonight was crazy. on the whole, i hate the general public. people are such idiots. but it was good in a way b/c vickie bought those of us who are going back to school a cake, which was very nice. the little "party" in the back room lasted most of my last half hour on the clock which was also very nice. vickie kept saying how sad she was to see me leave - and what a great employee i am. toot toot on my little horn! and one of the customers accused me of screwing up thus causing them a late fee (which they bitched about and then proceeded to drive off in their MERCEDES!) but my manager stuck up for me by saying that i'm probably the best employee the store has. that made me feel pretty damn good.
tomorrow i show cy at betsy's show. i'm kind of nervous. not about cy but about showing with linda at betsy's show. i haven't really made a formal break w/betsy but i've been riding with linda all summer and if i was going to buy a horse i would probably go to linda. she's not as concerned about making the commission off the sale as betsy is, therefore she's more honest with you when you're out looking. anyhow. i was also in the paper (picture too) for medalling twice at the BGSG. pretty sweet. i'll have to go to the library tomorrow and get a copy of the article/picture.
i'm ready to go back to school now. i'm not sure if it's just that going back and starting again is just something else to do that isn't hanging out at the house and going to work, or if i'm actually excited about my classes and field hockey and all that stuff. i'm having a hard time with my major. in my head, i mean. i'm not really thrilled about it. i love spanish but i guess i just don't know what i want to do yet. maybe that's why i'm not all gung-ho about it. i feel like i'm letting people down or disappointing them b/c i don't really want to go to spain next summer. i think that i would rather stay here (in the usa) and find some kind of translating job or something. but i think all of that is linked to my not knowing what i want to do exactly. i don't even know what i would write my senior thesis on. i guess that's kind of what this year is for - to figure out all that stuff so i'm prepared for comps when they come up. i just don't feel really prepared for anything i guess. like i've been wasting the past 2 years of college taking the wrong stuff. it's not like i won't graduate in time but i feel like i'm missing a lot of something.
maybe it's all b/c i'm not happy with myself and my outward appearance right now. it's not like i look bad but i'm not where i want to be. i've been there - on the edge of there - but i feel like i've taken a big step back from where i would like to be. hmmmmm.
too much thinking for one night. i guess i should just shut up and be happy with what i've got.
tomorrow i show cy at betsy's show. i'm kind of nervous. not about cy but about showing with linda at betsy's show. i haven't really made a formal break w/betsy but i've been riding with linda all summer and if i was going to buy a horse i would probably go to linda. she's not as concerned about making the commission off the sale as betsy is, therefore she's more honest with you when you're out looking. anyhow. i was also in the paper (picture too) for medalling twice at the BGSG. pretty sweet. i'll have to go to the library tomorrow and get a copy of the article/picture.
i'm ready to go back to school now. i'm not sure if it's just that going back and starting again is just something else to do that isn't hanging out at the house and going to work, or if i'm actually excited about my classes and field hockey and all that stuff. i'm having a hard time with my major. in my head, i mean. i'm not really thrilled about it. i love spanish but i guess i just don't know what i want to do yet. maybe that's why i'm not all gung-ho about it. i feel like i'm letting people down or disappointing them b/c i don't really want to go to spain next summer. i think that i would rather stay here (in the usa) and find some kind of translating job or something. but i think all of that is linked to my not knowing what i want to do exactly. i don't even know what i would write my senior thesis on. i guess that's kind of what this year is for - to figure out all that stuff so i'm prepared for comps when they come up. i just don't feel really prepared for anything i guess. like i've been wasting the past 2 years of college taking the wrong stuff. it's not like i won't graduate in time but i feel like i'm missing a lot of something.
maybe it's all b/c i'm not happy with myself and my outward appearance right now. it's not like i look bad but i'm not where i want to be. i've been there - on the edge of there - but i feel like i've taken a big step back from where i would like to be. hmmmmm.
too much thinking for one night. i guess i should just shut up and be happy with what i've got.