i've been missing you too much lately...

[gretch988]

this could be bad. i think i miss having someoene to be there for me whenever i need them too. i miss our little jokes. i dont know if its you or what we had. i think you feel it when i miss you cause in some way or another you make yourself known-- and your meer presence is just so frequent and haunting that im always ending every thought with you in it. im usually fine but sometimes i just start remembering things and then i love you again. ahh no i dont. i DONT love you. i miss you. thats all. this will be over before i know it. i wish we could be friends again but you didnt want that. i wish i couldve given you what you wanted but you took that for granted. i just wonder how you are sometimes. i wish you could at least give me some quarterly update. i was a part of your life. i am a part of your life and im not going away. how can it kill to include me just a little? i know i did some things wrong and i'll be the first to admit that- and i admitted to them over a year ago... how is it that its been so long and i still have the same thoughts? shouldnt i be over this? ive moved on! so why am i still sitting around wondering about it? maybe i shouldve changed. maybe you shouldve changed. maybe its no ones fault. maybe i need to stop thinking about this.

uhm so anyway--i miss mt people. i feel like ive grown apart from them cause we're not tog that much anymore. we had our first Starmites rehearsal last Friday and it the show looks like its going to be cute... i actually have a monolougeee. holler! though i hate to sound shallow and a pain in the ass- i really REALLY hope droids costumes are not ugly. i'll be very sad.

oh my goddd. its been way too long since the connuptial dance of spousal arousal.