From the Birthday Boy
Well, I celebrated a birthday earlier this week and I must say, it was one of the best ever. Before the day even arrived, Corrective Wife and I talked with the Sitter, who wanted to come over but we just weren't able to manage the logistics. So I will see the Sitter when I return home.
One of the parental units had a fall and we have had to fly to Mississippi on basically no notice at all, to help out and support the folks. We were in fact planning on going to Southern California and changed our destination about twelve hours before our flight. Gee, it is hard to understand why airlines keep going bankrupt when they charge $800 in change fees just because we want to fly somewhere else they go.
Thank goodness taxis don't work that way! Can you imagine? $10 to go to Safeway? I changed my mind, take me to CostCo -- what's that? A $50 change fee? But CostCo is next door to Safeway! What? You're transferring my call to India? Click. Hello? Hello?
Sorry. Where was I? Oh yeah...
So despite being with people who are not well, and being in rural Mississippi (don't get me started) I had a wonderful b-day! There were cards and a special dinner and cake and presents like Paul Shaffer's new book and the Bob Dylan CD of Christmas songs. The little woman did a fabulous job and I am still on a pink cloud.
lish sent me a poem she wrote just for me, and lish -- thanks so much, you are so sweet to me even though you once had me write enough lines to paper your bedroom walls; Miss Regan Black -- my NYC disciplinarian -- sent me well wishes and Regan, for a gurl who wears Docs and tames men for a living, you are also really sweet and I like you so much; Appy on Livejournal sent well wishes; and about ten peeps at work sent me birthday greetings.
Corrective Wife did something for me and I still have no idea how she arranged it. On the day of my birthday, she took me in our rental car ($12 a day, Priceline) to a home about thirty minutes away in a rural area. Whose home? I still don't know, and they weren't home. But obviously the whole thing had been arranged.
The little woman parked in the driveway of a nice ranch-style home, but instead of the house she headed towards a shed at the back of the property. She stopped briefly at a tree, took scissors from her purse (where did scissors come from?) and cut a branch off the tree while I gaped. Actually, not a branch, but not a twig. I don't know what to call it. It was 2 feet long and about as thick as a pencil.
Smiling, and believe me I was one confused man, she told me it was time for my birthday spanking. And since we were in the Old South, we would be using the traditional form of corporal punishment for that area -- a switching. My jaw dropped and with that, she grabbed me by an earlobe and marched me towards the shed. A few seconds later, we were in a actual woodshed! OMG!!! I was kissed on the lips, and then undressed from the waist down, by wifey. She has always believed that it increases the shame if a naughty man is undressed by the woman rather than allowed to disrobe, himself.
And then it began. I had never been switched before and it was not long before I was doing the pain dance and pleading for mercy. But no mercy was to be provided. The little woman told me that if she gave me a proper switching now, perhaps I would be "sweet all year." And so, she administered 200 licks that left me in agony, and with some broken skin. She welted me from the tops of my hips all the way to the back of my knees.
After a few minutes I was able to regain some composure and get my emotions back under control a little, and then I was able to thank her for making me sweet. She is such a wonderful life partner and I have flourished under her control.
We have another week down here looking after the folks and then we're back home, and I can't wait to see the Sitter -- she is so cool. I've been told that if I actually screw up and do something really bad in future, the consequences will be meted out by the Sitter, since she is less emotionally involved and will therefore not mind ensuring I will never re-offend. But that, I am happy to say, may never occur, as I am resolved to be my obedient best.
Thank you to everyone, but of course especially my wife, for making my birthday so memorable, so wonderful. I just feel so loved.
One of the parental units had a fall and we have had to fly to Mississippi on basically no notice at all, to help out and support the folks. We were in fact planning on going to Southern California and changed our destination about twelve hours before our flight. Gee, it is hard to understand why airlines keep going bankrupt when they charge $800 in change fees just because we want to fly somewhere else they go.
Thank goodness taxis don't work that way! Can you imagine? $10 to go to Safeway? I changed my mind, take me to CostCo -- what's that? A $50 change fee? But CostCo is next door to Safeway! What? You're transferring my call to India? Click. Hello? Hello?
Sorry. Where was I? Oh yeah...
So despite being with people who are not well, and being in rural Mississippi (don't get me started) I had a wonderful b-day! There were cards and a special dinner and cake and presents like Paul Shaffer's new book and the Bob Dylan CD of Christmas songs. The little woman did a fabulous job and I am still on a pink cloud.
lish sent me a poem she wrote just for me, and lish -- thanks so much, you are so sweet to me even though you once had me write enough lines to paper your bedroom walls; Miss Regan Black -- my NYC disciplinarian -- sent me well wishes and Regan, for a gurl who wears Docs and tames men for a living, you are also really sweet and I like you so much; Appy on Livejournal sent well wishes; and about ten peeps at work sent me birthday greetings.
Corrective Wife did something for me and I still have no idea how she arranged it. On the day of my birthday, she took me in our rental car ($12 a day, Priceline) to a home about thirty minutes away in a rural area. Whose home? I still don't know, and they weren't home. But obviously the whole thing had been arranged.
The little woman parked in the driveway of a nice ranch-style home, but instead of the house she headed towards a shed at the back of the property. She stopped briefly at a tree, took scissors from her purse (where did scissors come from?) and cut a branch off the tree while I gaped. Actually, not a branch, but not a twig. I don't know what to call it. It was 2 feet long and about as thick as a pencil.
Smiling, and believe me I was one confused man, she told me it was time for my birthday spanking. And since we were in the Old South, we would be using the traditional form of corporal punishment for that area -- a switching. My jaw dropped and with that, she grabbed me by an earlobe and marched me towards the shed. A few seconds later, we were in a actual woodshed! OMG!!! I was kissed on the lips, and then undressed from the waist down, by wifey. She has always believed that it increases the shame if a naughty man is undressed by the woman rather than allowed to disrobe, himself.
And then it began. I had never been switched before and it was not long before I was doing the pain dance and pleading for mercy. But no mercy was to be provided. The little woman told me that if she gave me a proper switching now, perhaps I would be "sweet all year." And so, she administered 200 licks that left me in agony, and with some broken skin. She welted me from the tops of my hips all the way to the back of my knees.
After a few minutes I was able to regain some composure and get my emotions back under control a little, and then I was able to thank her for making me sweet. She is such a wonderful life partner and I have flourished under her control.
We have another week down here looking after the folks and then we're back home, and I can't wait to see the Sitter -- she is so cool. I've been told that if I actually screw up and do something really bad in future, the consequences will be meted out by the Sitter, since she is less emotionally involved and will therefore not mind ensuring I will never re-offend. But that, I am happy to say, may never occur, as I am resolved to be my obedient best.
Thank you to everyone, but of course especially my wife, for making my birthday so memorable, so wonderful. I just feel so loved.