(no subject)
Am I asking to much to wish to be held significant? Sometimes I really believe I've gone off the deep end, this moment being one of them. There's just certain moments that I feel like I care too much, and that it's not reciprocated in such a way to match me. It's the little things that dig into me...the little things end up leaving the greatest scar really. Misunderstandings becoming more prevalent kill morale. I feel crazy, realizing that none of my reasoning makes sense, and yet this realization drives me further into my furor and hate for all the complications. I wish I didn't write these lengthy poems, I wish I didn't dedicate my profile to you. Sometimes I feel as if this may have, in some way, killed a part of me who was so rich in independence. I feel dependent for the first time in my life, and I don't like it. I wish that there was never an issue with PDA, or getting hurt over stupid things which, at the time, felt like all out rejection. I wish that I didn't feel judged for past decisions;one comment lives on in my mind on repeat for weeks, that's just my nature. I wish that feelings might have been spared, and that I wasn't so insanely jealous. I wish that trust came naturally to me, instead of a foreign concept I must learn and keep reteaching myself. Most of all I wish that my responses to these little things would not take hold of me and turn into huge problems. These wounds are self-inflicted.....all this comes back to me and my inability to deal.