(no subject)
its been one year since my uncle died. It's so sad. But I can't believe that it's been a year. I remember his funeral and I remember being mad at his daughter for being mad at our family because we were praying for him.
That's not really why I wanted to chuck one of these up. I'm just so down on myself. I'm sooooooooooo fat. I know what everyone says to me when I say that "you're not fat.. you're beautiful" but I'm fat!! and it's really annoying me. I can't do anything. Like today I was racing kel in the pool to get those little things that sink... and she kept winning and then someone picked it up while we were swimming for it and threw it back and Kel went after it and I was like "argh you go" and just little things like that. Yesterday my brothers picked me up and I was embarrassed.. I'm such a heffa. They dropped me and all I could think of was 'what if they see my gut?'.. I know its kind of lame but I don't want to worry about those things anymore. I'm extremelly self conscience and it pisses me off.
That's not really why I wanted to chuck one of these up. I'm just so down on myself. I'm sooooooooooo fat. I know what everyone says to me when I say that "you're not fat.. you're beautiful" but I'm fat!! and it's really annoying me. I can't do anything. Like today I was racing kel in the pool to get those little things that sink... and she kept winning and then someone picked it up while we were swimming for it and threw it back and Kel went after it and I was like "argh you go" and just little things like that. Yesterday my brothers picked me up and I was embarrassed.. I'm such a heffa. They dropped me and all I could think of was 'what if they see my gut?'.. I know its kind of lame but I don't want to worry about those things anymore. I'm extremelly self conscience and it pisses me off.