Comments | greenmunkii87: You're such a girl Octy, part 6

greenmunkii87

You're such a girl Octy, part 6

Jun 29, 2009 22:23

Roar I fought with my writers block and here are the results ( Read more... )

jedediah, fanfiction, octavius

Comments 22

cholomunkers June 30 2009, 05:41:39 UTC

sis! If you're around come on AIM sometime! Must read this now :)

greenmunkii87 June 30 2009, 05:45:36 UTC

I'm on right now.
OMG love the new coogan icon... God he is delicious!!!!!!!!
I can imagine him looking at Jed like that... or me :) hehe

cholomunkers June 30 2009, 05:53:40 UTC

Awww their kissing! I hope they can get in another good one before they turn back into little figures. All excited from the day, it's going to be delicious! Poor Larry, he had to know though!

greenmunkii87 June 30 2009, 05:56:27 UTC

I'll throw in a nice lemo next chapter just for you :)
Yeah poor larry, just not sure what to do with them lol

bittykitty20 June 30 2009, 06:04:13 UTC

I loved this chapter!! Cant wait for more ^ ^

greenmunkii87 June 30 2009, 06:08:41 UTC

Im aiming to try and post one within several hours, I've been drinking so it might happen lol

“Come on you’ll enjoy rammin’ into me.” eskyraven June 30 2009, 09:22:58 UTC

My goodness I didn't know a cowboy could be such a sensitive gus. And the General definitely appears to be the chick in the relationship. ".... I love ya’ you lunk head" OMFG this was so romantic I never knew I'd get so caught up in a homosexual romance novel but I have to admit I just melt when Jed's a little sad the kiss didn't last longer you wouldn't think a rough and tumble cowboy would have those little sensitivities for romance. Am I gay for being all choked up here ( ... )

Re: “Come on you’ll enjoy rammin’ into me.” eskyraven June 30 2009, 10:24:39 UTC

Oh and I read a string of your other fan fics and I see a stylistic improvement in the way your paragraphs flow and the dialogue is better.

Re: “Come on you’ll enjoy rammin’ into me.” eskyraven June 30 2009, 10:26:02 UTC

What do you mean 'stylistic' improvement?

Re: “Come on you’ll enjoy rammin’ into me.” eskyraven June 30 2009, 10:36:37 UTC

Stylistic in terms of writings is the way a writer articulates a thing in prose. A style reveals the writer's personality or 'voice.' "It is the result of the choices the writer makes in syntactical structures, diction, and figures of thought."

In your latest story I see the diction improving, while your syntactical structures improve along with them. An example would be how your, constantly improving on the things Jed says. He gets more cowboyish every time he speaks. I noticed a few quotes from earlier work and he seems to have changed his diction particularily in the first sex scenes to more and more succinct with his character in the latest scene where he ejaculates all over Octavius's belly.

Your figures of thought...um shit I don't even know what that means. I'm guessing it means the your own diction and lexicon capacity as a writer and how you implement it to connect dialogue with settings.

Thread 8

Qoute eskyraven June 30 2009, 10:48:31 UTC

“Hey ‘der handsome, what’cha doing?”

Hey whys Jed saying that! or is Jed saying that?

You and your freakin Steve Coogan obsession. URGH >.

Re: Qoute greenmunkii87 June 30 2009, 13:49:47 UTC

It could be me saying that, but he is a handsome man.
I'm not obsessed I'm dedicated :)