“Come on you’ll enjoy rammin’ into me.”eskyravenJune 30 2009, 09:22:58 UTC
My goodness I didn't know a cowboy could be such a sensitive gus. And the General definitely appears to be the chick in the relationship. ".... I love ya’ you lunk head" OMFG this was so romantic I never knew I'd get so caught up in a homosexual romance novel but I have to admit I just melt when Jed's a little sad the kiss didn't last longer you wouldn't think a rough and tumble cowboy would have those little sensitivities for romance. Am I gay for being all choked up here?
"Jed was enjoying the look on Octys face every time he rammed his bumper car into his" That sentence doesn't sound like innuendo in the slightest. GREAT GREAT paragraph especially how it transitions into the following paragraph. Them getting kicked off cause Jed gets excited is hilarious.
You do really great work with these characters. I think you could act if you have this much shit going on in your head. IF you write this well it means that your thoughts are highly sophisticated and you notice things alot of folks don't, it is a type of intelligence. Most people think mostly in words...words always are associated with images or feelings...the fact you can write like this speaks highly of your intellectual abilities. If you had a more technical vocabulary you could be dangerous.
Re: “Come on you’ll enjoy rammin’ into me.”eskyravenJune 30 2009, 10:36:37 UTC
Stylistic in terms of writings is the way a writer articulates a thing in prose. A style reveals the writer's personality or 'voice.' "It is the result of the choices the writer makes in syntactical structures, diction, and figures of thought."
In your latest story I see the diction improving, while your syntactical structures improve along with them. An example would be how your, constantly improving on the things Jed says. He gets more cowboyish every time he speaks. I noticed a few quotes from earlier work and he seems to have changed his diction particularily in the first sex scenes to more and more succinct with his character in the latest scene where he ejaculates all over Octavius's belly.
Your figures of thought...um shit I don't even know what that means. I'm guessing it means the your own diction and lexicon capacity as a writer and how you implement it to connect dialogue with settings.
Re: “Come on you’ll enjoy rammin’ into me.”eskyravenJune 30 2009, 10:42:52 UTC
I always notice spelling errors too late.
Your figures of thought...um shit I don't even know what that means. I'm guessing it means the your own diction and lexicon capacity as a writer and how you implement it to connect dialogue with settings.
should read:
Your figures of thought...oh fuck! I know precisely what that means. It means how your configure your own diction utilizing your lexical base as a writer to connect dialogue and settings with your narrator whatever form you choose to adopt. Namely your 3rd person omniscient contemporary English.
Re: “Come on you’ll enjoy rammin’ into me.”eskyravenJune 30 2009, 10:46:02 UTC
I will admit I may be wrong about some of your diction choices for Jed and even Oct, but one thing that reading your fan fics make me want to do is a character study aka watching the movie.
Re: “Come on you’ll enjoy rammin’ into me.”greenmunkii87June 30 2009, 13:48:38 UTC
Lmao!! Did you just have a small conversation with yourself? Oh I love that about you, you're just so adorable. Btw if anyone didn't know you will know. This man here's is the famous Gabe, food friend of mine. Few screws loose of course but I love it :)
I'm so glad that writing still turns you on, lmao jk But yeah I'm glad you liked it, lately I feel like my writing was loosing it's hold and getting bad, but I guess not so.
"Jed was enjoying the look on Octys face every time he rammed his bumper car into his" That sentence doesn't sound like innuendo in the slightest. GREAT GREAT paragraph especially how it transitions into the following paragraph. Them getting kicked off cause Jed gets excited is hilarious.
You do really great work with these characters. I think you could act if you have this much shit going on in your head. IF you write this well it means that your thoughts are highly sophisticated and you notice things alot of folks don't, it is a type of intelligence. Most people think mostly in words...words always are associated with images or feelings...the fact you can write like this speaks highly of your intellectual abilities. If you had a more technical vocabulary you could be dangerous.
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In your latest story I see the diction improving, while your syntactical structures improve along with them. An example would be how your, constantly improving on the things Jed says. He gets more cowboyish every time he speaks. I noticed a few quotes from earlier work and he seems to have changed his diction particularily in the first sex scenes to more and more succinct with his character in the latest scene where he ejaculates all over Octavius's belly.
Your figures of thought...um shit I don't even know what that means. I'm guessing it means the your own diction and lexicon capacity as a writer and how you implement it to connect dialogue with settings.
Reply
Your figures of thought...um shit I don't even know what that means. I'm guessing it means the your own diction and lexicon capacity as a writer and how you implement it to connect dialogue with settings.
should read:
Your figures of thought...oh fuck! I know precisely what that means. It means how your configure your own diction utilizing your lexical base as a writer to connect dialogue and settings with your narrator whatever form you choose to adopt. Namely your 3rd person omniscient contemporary English.
Reply
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Oh I love that about you, you're just so adorable.
Btw if anyone didn't know you will know.
This man here's is the famous Gabe, food friend of mine.
Few screws loose of course but I love it :)
I'm so glad that writing still turns you on, lmao jk
But yeah I'm glad you liked it, lately I feel like my writing was loosing it's hold and getting bad, but I guess not so.
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I do wonder what it would be like to be an actress.
Can't deny I've thought about it
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