dreams may be dreams
last night i had two night terrors; a first since i had ptss, almost four years ago.
the first involved these half-fly, half-human people, whose goal was to turn the world into these insect-morph humans. i love insects, but i swear, it was quite terrifying. the people were more alien-like and had successfully transformed everyone in the world into insect-morphs except for me. the insect-morph leaders would chase me, and i swear i even tried swimming down sewers into rivers of poop to get away. but whenever i would make it to safety, they would be there, waiting for me at the finish. they caught me, carried me off into a straight jacket to be "evolved" and i woke up right before they turned me into an insect morph, compound eyes and all.
after that lengthy dream, i sat up in my bed in a sweat. i gasped something but i cut myself off before words came out. it was just a dream. i laid down. i rolled over onto my side and checked my cell phone to see what time it was. it was 2:30 in the morning. i closed my eyes and went back to sleep.
the second was even more terrifying. i'm in a forest, which is nice and comforting, and its fall and very maine-like. however, out of nowhere, my leg gets cut off by a chainsaw. my leg is gone, and i'm wounded and bleeding, but it doesn't hurt. i'm even walking normally like i have two legs, even though i am completely missing a limb. i walk back to town and i'm freaking out about my leg. i need help, and no one will help me. my family shuns me, my friends don't even recognize me. then as i'm "running" down the street, my arm falls off. kind of the way a barbie doll's body parts snap on and off. now i have no balance (as if i did before?) and i fall to the ground. i'm dragging myself down a sidewalk with one leg and arm and i pass scott. i scream for help and he comes over to me. he says that he wishes he could help, but he can't have a girlfriend that is a nub. (now that i'm writing this, this scene seems pretty humorous, but trust me, it was pretty terrifying being a bloody nub.)
i wake up and i grab my leg to make sure it is there. i start crying for some dumb reason. i roll over and check my phone. i wonder if it is time for me to get up and go to work yet. its 5:00 am. i lay in bed for a little bit, and then go to the bathroom. i try to decipher what my dreams meant, even though they were pretty obvious for the way my day went. i went back to sleep, and got up in time for work. with all my limbs, and no compound eyes.
the first involved these half-fly, half-human people, whose goal was to turn the world into these insect-morph humans. i love insects, but i swear, it was quite terrifying. the people were more alien-like and had successfully transformed everyone in the world into insect-morphs except for me. the insect-morph leaders would chase me, and i swear i even tried swimming down sewers into rivers of poop to get away. but whenever i would make it to safety, they would be there, waiting for me at the finish. they caught me, carried me off into a straight jacket to be "evolved" and i woke up right before they turned me into an insect morph, compound eyes and all.
after that lengthy dream, i sat up in my bed in a sweat. i gasped something but i cut myself off before words came out. it was just a dream. i laid down. i rolled over onto my side and checked my cell phone to see what time it was. it was 2:30 in the morning. i closed my eyes and went back to sleep.
the second was even more terrifying. i'm in a forest, which is nice and comforting, and its fall and very maine-like. however, out of nowhere, my leg gets cut off by a chainsaw. my leg is gone, and i'm wounded and bleeding, but it doesn't hurt. i'm even walking normally like i have two legs, even though i am completely missing a limb. i walk back to town and i'm freaking out about my leg. i need help, and no one will help me. my family shuns me, my friends don't even recognize me. then as i'm "running" down the street, my arm falls off. kind of the way a barbie doll's body parts snap on and off. now i have no balance (as if i did before?) and i fall to the ground. i'm dragging myself down a sidewalk with one leg and arm and i pass scott. i scream for help and he comes over to me. he says that he wishes he could help, but he can't have a girlfriend that is a nub. (now that i'm writing this, this scene seems pretty humorous, but trust me, it was pretty terrifying being a bloody nub.)
i wake up and i grab my leg to make sure it is there. i start crying for some dumb reason. i roll over and check my phone. i wonder if it is time for me to get up and go to work yet. its 5:00 am. i lay in bed for a little bit, and then go to the bathroom. i try to decipher what my dreams meant, even though they were pretty obvious for the way my day went. i went back to sleep, and got up in time for work. with all my limbs, and no compound eyes.