yes, i am alive.
do you ever feel so happy you want to cry? that is what matt did to me tonite. he made me so happy, that my eyes got watery. i love him more than i could ever say. i can't believe i have someone that i want and hope i can be with forever. (i know this is unrealistic, but it IS possible). i have never had someone that complimented me so well. who i could compliment back. he's my heart. my best friend. he's my love.
so... havn't written in here in about.... 2 months. that is ridiculous. i just don't have time. im usually at matts or he is here. but im at my house by myself tonite, so here i am.
school is ok. i don't hate it, or like it. i mean fuck, its school. how am i supposed to feel about it? i feel like its a waste of time, but is something i have to do. next semester ill start working on my interior decorating program, which if u know me at all, is my dream.
hut is wack as hell. i worked at a preschool for a month. that was... an experience. i got really close to some of the kids, and part of me can't believes that i left them like that. but i went back to the hut, cuz that is what i do. i leave the hut, but i always go back. yesterday i gave them my key and told them to never schedule me to manage again. fuck them. i wanna wait talbes and actually make some money.
on august 3rd, baby fitzgerald was taken away. i had an abortion. most (if not all) of you who read this i have been really good friends with at some point or another. and yes. i had one. it was the worst thing of my entire life. i would not wish it upon anyone. i hope i never have to make that decision ever again. i am finally on birth control, so i hope it is ok. part of my just thought some of you should know. i don't know why. i went through a lot with a lot of you. and well, yeah. i just wanted to tell you. no i don't want comments about it. its not for attention. its a part of me, and i thought i'd share it. i think about it everyday. multiple times a day. it makes my eyes swell and i get a pain in my stomach. what could have been? of this child... that i didn't give a chance...
on other news...i am blonde right now.
i made a decision. im going to QUIT smoking. starting now. we'll see how long i can go.
gaby- im glad you're going crazy at school and having an awsum time.
charlotte-... u going to hcc? i have never seen you. i don't hate you. if u see me anywhere, say hey.
so... havn't written in here in about.... 2 months. that is ridiculous. i just don't have time. im usually at matts or he is here. but im at my house by myself tonite, so here i am.
school is ok. i don't hate it, or like it. i mean fuck, its school. how am i supposed to feel about it? i feel like its a waste of time, but is something i have to do. next semester ill start working on my interior decorating program, which if u know me at all, is my dream.
hut is wack as hell. i worked at a preschool for a month. that was... an experience. i got really close to some of the kids, and part of me can't believes that i left them like that. but i went back to the hut, cuz that is what i do. i leave the hut, but i always go back. yesterday i gave them my key and told them to never schedule me to manage again. fuck them. i wanna wait talbes and actually make some money.
on august 3rd, baby fitzgerald was taken away. i had an abortion. most (if not all) of you who read this i have been really good friends with at some point or another. and yes. i had one. it was the worst thing of my entire life. i would not wish it upon anyone. i hope i never have to make that decision ever again. i am finally on birth control, so i hope it is ok. part of my just thought some of you should know. i don't know why. i went through a lot with a lot of you. and well, yeah. i just wanted to tell you. no i don't want comments about it. its not for attention. its a part of me, and i thought i'd share it. i think about it everyday. multiple times a day. it makes my eyes swell and i get a pain in my stomach. what could have been? of this child... that i didn't give a chance...
on other news...i am blonde right now.
i made a decision. im going to QUIT smoking. starting now. we'll see how long i can go.
gaby- im glad you're going crazy at school and having an awsum time.
charlotte-... u going to hcc? i have never seen you. i don't hate you. if u see me anywhere, say hey.