Today isn't really a good day
I'm always super vague in my journal. I wish I could just pour it all out in here, but then I worry about who sees it and reads it and the thing I'm upset about is very personal and I guess I don't want people knowing how I feel and what I'm thinking because of this stupid logic:
If people don't know what I want, then if I can't do it, in their eyes I haven't failed.
I don't know what that says about me as a friend and a person, but... that's how it is. I always got mad at those people who assumed everything, you know? Like this one girl, she came into KBCO assuming she would be hired part time for the summer. And I was like "Have they said who they are hiring yet?" and she was like, no. But she was all cocky and arrogant and I hated her for thinking she would just get the job.
I figure if I'm confident I'll get this, then if it doesn't happen I'll look like an asshole. And people will probably pity me. So I keep quiet about it and have these ridiculous conversations in my mind and when Josh asks me what I'm thinking about I say "noting", even though nothing is the furthest possible thing from my mind.
If people don't know what I want, then if I can't do it, in their eyes I haven't failed.
I don't know what that says about me as a friend and a person, but... that's how it is. I always got mad at those people who assumed everything, you know? Like this one girl, she came into KBCO assuming she would be hired part time for the summer. And I was like "Have they said who they are hiring yet?" and she was like, no. But she was all cocky and arrogant and I hated her for thinking she would just get the job.
I figure if I'm confident I'll get this, then if it doesn't happen I'll look like an asshole. And people will probably pity me. So I keep quiet about it and have these ridiculous conversations in my mind and when Josh asks me what I'm thinking about I say "noting", even though nothing is the furthest possible thing from my mind.