(no subject)
time to update this guy...shit its been a long time. too long.
i have to jobs now. two crazy crazy jobs and i'm working 7 days a week, sometimes opening at one and closing at another in one day. it's crappy. i'm a workaholic. the good news is i'll get to move out sooner with the money i'm making. and i make really good tips at my waitressing job. so that's a plus. time to get moving.
the band is good. we play open mic nights every week. nothing big but it's just good to keep playing while we're having this down time. rusty (my band mate) is living in his van at the moment so we can't really do a lot of stuff until we move in together, which is the plan at the moment. me, rusty, and my friend tim. really excited about living with them. we get along really well and i love these boys a lot.
tonight my boyfriend gary and i broke up. he's going to humbolt in august and with this impending doom lurking and signifying the end of our relationship, he doesn't want to fall any more in love with me than he already is, as he put it. and he wouldn't be able to treat me as i 'deserve to be treated'. it's an awful awful situation. and i've never felt so sick and broken as i do at this moment, which may be the reason for my needing to vent. at least he put the emphasis on that it wasn't my fault, that i didn't do anything wrong, like i always think when the relationships i'm in end. so i'll give him props for that. these next few days, weeks, months, however long it takes to get over him, are going to be really fucking disgustingly hard, and i'm not looking forward to them. he was a great guy, and i was really good to him. we both knew what we had in each other. but it doesn't matter anymore. we'll try to be friends. it'll happen, but i know i'll always want more from him.
ahh teen angst. well, won't be a teen for much longer. don't even get me started on growing up. don't want that shit to happen EVER.
love you all. i hope everyone's well.
emily
i have to jobs now. two crazy crazy jobs and i'm working 7 days a week, sometimes opening at one and closing at another in one day. it's crappy. i'm a workaholic. the good news is i'll get to move out sooner with the money i'm making. and i make really good tips at my waitressing job. so that's a plus. time to get moving.
the band is good. we play open mic nights every week. nothing big but it's just good to keep playing while we're having this down time. rusty (my band mate) is living in his van at the moment so we can't really do a lot of stuff until we move in together, which is the plan at the moment. me, rusty, and my friend tim. really excited about living with them. we get along really well and i love these boys a lot.
tonight my boyfriend gary and i broke up. he's going to humbolt in august and with this impending doom lurking and signifying the end of our relationship, he doesn't want to fall any more in love with me than he already is, as he put it. and he wouldn't be able to treat me as i 'deserve to be treated'. it's an awful awful situation. and i've never felt so sick and broken as i do at this moment, which may be the reason for my needing to vent. at least he put the emphasis on that it wasn't my fault, that i didn't do anything wrong, like i always think when the relationships i'm in end. so i'll give him props for that. these next few days, weeks, months, however long it takes to get over him, are going to be really fucking disgustingly hard, and i'm not looking forward to them. he was a great guy, and i was really good to him. we both knew what we had in each other. but it doesn't matter anymore. we'll try to be friends. it'll happen, but i know i'll always want more from him.
ahh teen angst. well, won't be a teen for much longer. don't even get me started on growing up. don't want that shit to happen EVER.
love you all. i hope everyone's well.
emily