Fic: Three Lost Gloves
Title: Three Lost Glove
Rating: PG-13 at most
Genre: Humor. Crack.
Pairings: Ten/Rose, Jess/Rory, Gambit/Rogue
Disclaimer: The X-Men belong to Marvel, The Doctor and Rose belong to Rusty, and Rory and Jess belong ASP. Not mine. Don’t sue.
A/N: Written for 2cutelena
Summary: One big mall, and three lost gloves. Folks, it’s beginning to look a lot like Crackmus.
under the cut
The Manhattan Mall on 6th Avenue and 33rd Street was busy. This, Rory Gilmore thought, was an understatement.
She’d bribed her boyfriend, Jess Mariano, to drive up from Stars Hollow to do their Christmas shopping with a special trip to Victoria’s Secret.
Unfortunately, on their way there, Rory had dropped something.
“Well, it has to be around here somewhere. You can’t go around with one glove; you’ll look like Michael Jackson.”
Rory glared. “Thanks, Jess. That makes me feel so much better. I can’t believe I lost it!”
Jess grinned at her teasingly. “Maybe that’s what’s stuck up Taylor’s ass.”
“Can we please just find it?” Rory asked. “I love that pair of gloves.”
“Okay, okay. Glove hunting, ahoy.”
****
The Doctor took in a deep breath and let it out with an exaggerated sigh. “Commerce at its height! Manhattan at Christmastime!”
Rose Tyler, his traveling companion, giggled. “S’brilliant! S’just brilliant! Look at all these people! Oh! Can we go to KB Toys, and watch mothers beat on each other for gifts?”
The Doctor grinned. “Absolutely!” He grabbed her hand. “Come on! Alon-“
“Hold on,” Rose stopped. “I think I’ve lost a glove.”
The Doctor sighed. “Roooose…”
“I’m sorry! It’s gotta be here somewhere!” She looked around her, trying to avoid running into people passing by.
“I’ll buy you a new pair of gloves,” the Doctor said. “Fifty new pairs of gloves! I want to see American mothers eat each other alive over teddy bears!”
“But I love those gloves,” Rose said sadly. “Mum gave me those gloves last year.”
He sighed heavily. “Oh…alright. Let’s find that glove. Take out the other one, I’ll program the sonic screwdriver to track it down.”
****
“Remy?”
“Oui, Cher?”
“Ah lost a glove.”
“WHAT?!”
“Ah was tryin’ on some of those skimpy numbers in Victoria’s Secret and Ah musta left it in the dressing room.”
Remy Lebeau, aka the X-Men’s Gambit, sighed heavily. “Dis a joke, right?”
“Sorry, Sugah.”
“Merde.”
****
“Here, little glove…”
“Rory, it’s not a pet,” Jess said. “It can’t come when you call. It’s inanimate.”
Rory frowned. “Worth a shot.”
He sighed. “Is this it?” He picked up a yellow, spandex glove.
“No!” Rory cried. “I’m not a yellow person! Do I look like a yellow person to you?!”
Jess sputtered. “It’s a glove!”
Rory sighed. “Fine. Hold onto it. Let’s just…keep looking…when we come across the lost and found, we’ll drop it off.”
****
“Blimey, that is a posh glove,” the Doctor said, as Rose picked up a black leather glove.
“It’s so soft,” she said.
“Well, it’s not yours. Your mother doesn’t have good taste.”
Rose’s mouth dropped open. “Oi!”
“Come on,” the Doctor said, taking her hand. “We’ll drop it off at lost and found when we get there. Let’s keep looking.”
She huffed and followed him.
Someone bumped her shoulder and Rose stumbled. “Hey. Scuse you.”
“Sorry, lady,” said a gruff voice. The man was short, with wild black hair. He stopped and sniffed the air for a moment, before narrowing his eyes at the Doctor. “You.”
The Doctor’s face became horrified. “Bugger! Run!”
Rose gripped the Doctor’s hand tightly as they ran, and the stocky man gave chase. “What’d you do to him?!”
“I don’t know yet!”
“You can’t go three seconds without pissing somebody off, can you?!” Rose cried. “A crowded mall at Christmastime and you still manage to find trouble!”
“And you love it!”
“That’s not the point!”
“Get back here, you skinny, limey bastard!” the man behind them yelled.
“We’re never gonna find my glove now!”
The duo was so intent on running, that they failed to notice they were heading right for another couple. Rose smacked right into the man, and the Doctor right into the woman.
****
Remy and Rogue had managed to find a glove, alright.
But it was pink, and rather fluffy.
“That ain’t mah glove.”
“Oui, Rogue, I know dat…but it be somebody’s glove, so-“
He was cut off by a petite blonde running right into him. “AH!”
A tall man with wild hair ran into Rogue, and she screamed.
“Sorry!” the man said. “So sorry, very sorry so- hey. I feel funny.” With that, his eyes rolled back in his head and he passed out.
“Doctor?!” the blonde cried. She looked up at Rogue. “What’d you do to him?!”
Rogue groaned. “Ah have this weird craving for bananas…and blondes.”
Remy sighed heavily. “He be fine in a minute, Petit,” he told the girl. “Rogue just be…special.” He looked up. “Logan! What de hell you doin?!”
“That guy-“
“You!” the blonde got to her feet and stormed over to him, poking him in the chest. “What is wrong with you, chasing people through a crowded mall?!”
“Lady, I-“
“Hey!” a new voice cried. “That’s my glove.”
A brunette rushed over and took the leather glove from Rose. “Thanks!”
The young man with her looked nervous. “Rory…I think we should go now.”
Instead, Rory pulled out the yellow glove. “Does this belong to any of you?”
“Mah glove!” Rogue cried, snatching it and putting it on. “Did y’all know that spandex was invented in 1959 and its first commercial production was by the DuPont Company?”
The group stared at her.
“Ah have no idea where that came from.”
The Doctor groaned. “I do.”
Rose rushed to his side. “Doctor?!”
Logan grumbled.
“Ooooh, my head…what happened?” the Doctor asked, sitting up.
“That would be mah fault,” Rogue said. “Sorry.” She waved a pink fluffy glove.
“Hey!” Rose cried. “That’s mine!” She snatched it and looked it over. “Thanks!”
“No problem, ah guess,” Rogue said, obviously amused. She turned to Logan. “Why in god’s name were you chasin these people?!”
“He-“
“No!” The Doctor cried, getting to his feet. “Don’t say it! Can’t know my own future!”
“Que?” Remy asked, confused.
“Come on, Rose,” the Doctor said, taking her hand. “We have a date with some angry mothers fighting over Barbies.”
Rose giggles, oblivious to the rest of the group, as they walked off.
Rory took Jess’s hand and smiled. “Come on. I think we should go home. It’s been a strange day.”
The three X-Men were left, standing in the middle of the mall, rather confused.
“Ah think we should go home,” Rogue said.
Logan grumbled.
END
Happy Holidays!
Rating: PG-13 at most
Genre: Humor. Crack.
Pairings: Ten/Rose, Jess/Rory, Gambit/Rogue
Disclaimer: The X-Men belong to Marvel, The Doctor and Rose belong to Rusty, and Rory and Jess belong ASP. Not mine. Don’t sue.
A/N: Written for 2cutelena
Summary: One big mall, and three lost gloves. Folks, it’s beginning to look a lot like Crackmus.
under the cut
The Manhattan Mall on 6th Avenue and 33rd Street was busy. This, Rory Gilmore thought, was an understatement.
She’d bribed her boyfriend, Jess Mariano, to drive up from Stars Hollow to do their Christmas shopping with a special trip to Victoria’s Secret.
Unfortunately, on their way there, Rory had dropped something.
“Well, it has to be around here somewhere. You can’t go around with one glove; you’ll look like Michael Jackson.”
Rory glared. “Thanks, Jess. That makes me feel so much better. I can’t believe I lost it!”
Jess grinned at her teasingly. “Maybe that’s what’s stuck up Taylor’s ass.”
“Can we please just find it?” Rory asked. “I love that pair of gloves.”
“Okay, okay. Glove hunting, ahoy.”
****
The Doctor took in a deep breath and let it out with an exaggerated sigh. “Commerce at its height! Manhattan at Christmastime!”
Rose Tyler, his traveling companion, giggled. “S’brilliant! S’just brilliant! Look at all these people! Oh! Can we go to KB Toys, and watch mothers beat on each other for gifts?”
The Doctor grinned. “Absolutely!” He grabbed her hand. “Come on! Alon-“
“Hold on,” Rose stopped. “I think I’ve lost a glove.”
The Doctor sighed. “Roooose…”
“I’m sorry! It’s gotta be here somewhere!” She looked around her, trying to avoid running into people passing by.
“I’ll buy you a new pair of gloves,” the Doctor said. “Fifty new pairs of gloves! I want to see American mothers eat each other alive over teddy bears!”
“But I love those gloves,” Rose said sadly. “Mum gave me those gloves last year.”
He sighed heavily. “Oh…alright. Let’s find that glove. Take out the other one, I’ll program the sonic screwdriver to track it down.”
****
“Remy?”
“Oui, Cher?”
“Ah lost a glove.”
“WHAT?!”
“Ah was tryin’ on some of those skimpy numbers in Victoria’s Secret and Ah musta left it in the dressing room.”
Remy Lebeau, aka the X-Men’s Gambit, sighed heavily. “Dis a joke, right?”
“Sorry, Sugah.”
“Merde.”
****
“Here, little glove…”
“Rory, it’s not a pet,” Jess said. “It can’t come when you call. It’s inanimate.”
Rory frowned. “Worth a shot.”
He sighed. “Is this it?” He picked up a yellow, spandex glove.
“No!” Rory cried. “I’m not a yellow person! Do I look like a yellow person to you?!”
Jess sputtered. “It’s a glove!”
Rory sighed. “Fine. Hold onto it. Let’s just…keep looking…when we come across the lost and found, we’ll drop it off.”
****
“Blimey, that is a posh glove,” the Doctor said, as Rose picked up a black leather glove.
“It’s so soft,” she said.
“Well, it’s not yours. Your mother doesn’t have good taste.”
Rose’s mouth dropped open. “Oi!”
“Come on,” the Doctor said, taking her hand. “We’ll drop it off at lost and found when we get there. Let’s keep looking.”
She huffed and followed him.
Someone bumped her shoulder and Rose stumbled. “Hey. Scuse you.”
“Sorry, lady,” said a gruff voice. The man was short, with wild black hair. He stopped and sniffed the air for a moment, before narrowing his eyes at the Doctor. “You.”
The Doctor’s face became horrified. “Bugger! Run!”
Rose gripped the Doctor’s hand tightly as they ran, and the stocky man gave chase. “What’d you do to him?!”
“I don’t know yet!”
“You can’t go three seconds without pissing somebody off, can you?!” Rose cried. “A crowded mall at Christmastime and you still manage to find trouble!”
“And you love it!”
“That’s not the point!”
“Get back here, you skinny, limey bastard!” the man behind them yelled.
“We’re never gonna find my glove now!”
The duo was so intent on running, that they failed to notice they were heading right for another couple. Rose smacked right into the man, and the Doctor right into the woman.
****
Remy and Rogue had managed to find a glove, alright.
But it was pink, and rather fluffy.
“That ain’t mah glove.”
“Oui, Rogue, I know dat…but it be somebody’s glove, so-“
He was cut off by a petite blonde running right into him. “AH!”
A tall man with wild hair ran into Rogue, and she screamed.
“Sorry!” the man said. “So sorry, very sorry so- hey. I feel funny.” With that, his eyes rolled back in his head and he passed out.
“Doctor?!” the blonde cried. She looked up at Rogue. “What’d you do to him?!”
Rogue groaned. “Ah have this weird craving for bananas…and blondes.”
Remy sighed heavily. “He be fine in a minute, Petit,” he told the girl. “Rogue just be…special.” He looked up. “Logan! What de hell you doin?!”
“That guy-“
“You!” the blonde got to her feet and stormed over to him, poking him in the chest. “What is wrong with you, chasing people through a crowded mall?!”
“Lady, I-“
“Hey!” a new voice cried. “That’s my glove.”
A brunette rushed over and took the leather glove from Rose. “Thanks!”
The young man with her looked nervous. “Rory…I think we should go now.”
Instead, Rory pulled out the yellow glove. “Does this belong to any of you?”
“Mah glove!” Rogue cried, snatching it and putting it on. “Did y’all know that spandex was invented in 1959 and its first commercial production was by the DuPont Company?”
The group stared at her.
“Ah have no idea where that came from.”
The Doctor groaned. “I do.”
Rose rushed to his side. “Doctor?!”
Logan grumbled.
“Ooooh, my head…what happened?” the Doctor asked, sitting up.
“That would be mah fault,” Rogue said. “Sorry.” She waved a pink fluffy glove.
“Hey!” Rose cried. “That’s mine!” She snatched it and looked it over. “Thanks!”
“No problem, ah guess,” Rogue said, obviously amused. She turned to Logan. “Why in god’s name were you chasin these people?!”
“He-“
“No!” The Doctor cried, getting to his feet. “Don’t say it! Can’t know my own future!”
“Que?” Remy asked, confused.
“Come on, Rose,” the Doctor said, taking her hand. “We have a date with some angry mothers fighting over Barbies.”
Rose giggles, oblivious to the rest of the group, as they walked off.
Rory took Jess’s hand and smiled. “Come on. I think we should go home. It’s been a strange day.”
The three X-Men were left, standing in the middle of the mall, rather confused.
“Ah think we should go home,” Rogue said.
Logan grumbled.
END
Happy Holidays!