Bokura ga ita.
Just about to head off to bed. But I think I know what I've been emo-ing about all day... outside lackage of sunshine-age.
I've been emo-ing over the hole that Besing left. It's not so much that I miss him [though to deny that would be lying], but more like I miss being able to count on someone so wholly to want to cheer me up. I know Josh is still interested in doing this... but he's just not completely there.. not able to fully put himself into it. It's not that I blame him or anything... it's just that I suppose I'm regretful of this fact. I know he can do it without fully being into it, but it's the fact that we both want to be but can't be... so I've found that I have to keep distanced from him so I don' get sucked in and spat out... so many broken promises. It's just something that comes with the situation that we're in. As much as I care for him, I can't help but hope that Fargo will allow me to escape always landing in situations like this...
But yes. That's what I feel like I'm missing. I'm missing that piece that has been switching in and out between Gorgeous, Josh and Ethan since Besing.... but hey. Small cheer for the fact that I'm not falling back on Gorgeous despite having voiced a bit about my clueless emo-ing to him tonight... he tried to cheer me up, with much to show. -_- I'm torrenting Robot Chicken or something silly like that. He pointed me that way and yup, sure enough... cheered and entertained me even after he left early. Though I am happy that he [ had the time / cared / was bored ] enough to try and cheer me up.
But yes... it's almost 6a. Time for bed.
I've been emo-ing over the hole that Besing left. It's not so much that I miss him [though to deny that would be lying], but more like I miss being able to count on someone so wholly to want to cheer me up. I know Josh is still interested in doing this... but he's just not completely there.. not able to fully put himself into it. It's not that I blame him or anything... it's just that I suppose I'm regretful of this fact. I know he can do it without fully being into it, but it's the fact that we both want to be but can't be... so I've found that I have to keep distanced from him so I don' get sucked in and spat out... so many broken promises. It's just something that comes with the situation that we're in. As much as I care for him, I can't help but hope that Fargo will allow me to escape always landing in situations like this...
But yes. That's what I feel like I'm missing. I'm missing that piece that has been switching in and out between Gorgeous, Josh and Ethan since Besing.... but hey. Small cheer for the fact that I'm not falling back on Gorgeous despite having voiced a bit about my clueless emo-ing to him tonight... he tried to cheer me up, with much to show. -_- I'm torrenting Robot Chicken or something silly like that. He pointed me that way and yup, sure enough... cheered and entertained me even after he left early. Though I am happy that he [ had the time / cared / was bored ] enough to try and cheer me up.
But yes... it's almost 6a. Time for bed.