I'll never look at scarecrows the same way again...
So I'm doing research trying to figure out the subject matter of alot of the garden statues I'm working on. Basically, none of these 190 statues are marked, named, catalogued, or indexed in any way, so if the statue itself doesn't have an inscribed title or name I have to research and find out which mythological deity I think it is and why. Score!
So I was looking up stuff on Mercury and came across this article for Priapus, ancient Greek god of male sexuality. Characterized by his monstrous wang, which if you've ever seen a statue of a very happy man with a four-foot erection, is him. So apparently ancient Romans used to use statues of Priapus and all his manly glory as scarecrows - because apparently big wangs frighten birds instead of providing another place to land. Plus, his image was used as a threat against thieves, because it was believed that his manliness would frighten thieves. Well, it'd sure as hell frighten me, but I don't think I'd run away. OHHHHH YEAH!
So, wait, the best part is that there's an inscription about what Priapus apparently would do to thieves he caught. Wait...
"I warn you, my lad, you will be sodomised; you, my girl, I shall futter; for the thief who is bearded, a third punishment remains... If I do seize you . . . you shall be so stretched that you will think your anus never had any wrinkles."
OMGWTF!
Okay, so what's so special about a bearded thief? And what the hizzell does "futter" mean?! Would I want to be futtered? Probably not...
I'm doing real research, I swear... :)
So I was looking up stuff on Mercury and came across this article for Priapus, ancient Greek god of male sexuality. Characterized by his monstrous wang, which if you've ever seen a statue of a very happy man with a four-foot erection, is him. So apparently ancient Romans used to use statues of Priapus and all his manly glory as scarecrows - because apparently big wangs frighten birds instead of providing another place to land. Plus, his image was used as a threat against thieves, because it was believed that his manliness would frighten thieves. Well, it'd sure as hell frighten me, but I don't think I'd run away. OHHHHH YEAH!
So, wait, the best part is that there's an inscription about what Priapus apparently would do to thieves he caught. Wait...
"I warn you, my lad, you will be sodomised; you, my girl, I shall futter; for the thief who is bearded, a third punishment remains... If I do seize you . . . you shall be so stretched that you will think your anus never had any wrinkles."
OMGWTF!
Okay, so what's so special about a bearded thief? And what the hizzell does "futter" mean?! Would I want to be futtered? Probably not...
I'm doing real research, I swear... :)