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Well, im still hurting. i think i will be for a very long time. Even though the less emotional part of my brain knows that eventually ill be ok, right now i want to tell it to shut up and get lost.
Ive decided i want to go to the states anyway. ive even signed up to the green card lottery. i thought it couldnt hurt. *shrug*
Ive started looking into colleges again. the main one so far is Kent State in Ohio. Mainly becasue i have relatives there who when i visited them had said i could live with them if i went to school there. I would need to check if hte offer still stands, but it seems like a good plan to cut my living costs.
Ive also asked for information from a school in LA and in SF. ill have to do some more research, but i hope to find something i can afford and like.
I also want to do a Wilton cake decorating course once i get there. I cant do them here... so it will have to wait.
Ive offered My friend Caroline who is getting married in December to bake her wedding cake for her.
She loves Black Forest cake and since we have a proper German recipe and i love baking i thought i could do that for her.
We will see.
I just wish things in my life could go back how they were. I used to be someone who was nearly always in a good mood. Now im like that but with an underlayer of sourness all the time. i wish i coudl get rid of it.
I dont think this feeling will ever completely erase itself. I think that a big part of me will forever mourn that which could have been.
Ive decided i want to go to the states anyway. ive even signed up to the green card lottery. i thought it couldnt hurt. *shrug*
Ive started looking into colleges again. the main one so far is Kent State in Ohio. Mainly becasue i have relatives there who when i visited them had said i could live with them if i went to school there. I would need to check if hte offer still stands, but it seems like a good plan to cut my living costs.
Ive also asked for information from a school in LA and in SF. ill have to do some more research, but i hope to find something i can afford and like.
I also want to do a Wilton cake decorating course once i get there. I cant do them here... so it will have to wait.
Ive offered My friend Caroline who is getting married in December to bake her wedding cake for her.
She loves Black Forest cake and since we have a proper German recipe and i love baking i thought i could do that for her.
We will see.
I just wish things in my life could go back how they were. I used to be someone who was nearly always in a good mood. Now im like that but with an underlayer of sourness all the time. i wish i coudl get rid of it.
I dont think this feeling will ever completely erase itself. I think that a big part of me will forever mourn that which could have been.