Seven Days /// Thursday: Where we are
Kazuya was rather surprised that Jin paid that much attention to him suddenly. Again, he had picked the younger one up that morning, had brought him to his classroom and as he saw Jin appearing in the door frame again in their lunch break, Kazuya stared at him in confusion.
The girls all turned their heads, when the door was pushed open and Jin stepped in. He didn’t look hesitant at all; his eyes were looking at Kazuya only and as usual, didn’t show much of emotion.
Koki waved over at him. “Yo, Jin-kun!”
Throwing him a look, Jin nodded, greeting him back. Then he turned to Kazuya again. The light brunette was still sitting in his place, staring at Jin without any movement.
“Do you have time?”
Kazuya nodded, stood up and grabbed his bag. He felt everyone’s eyes at him, as he walked over to Jin. The older one held the door for him and Kazuya thought he’d never been as embarrassed as he was in that moment.
“You really don’t need to hold the door for me, Jin…”, he mumbled, as they walked down the corridor together.
“But everyone looked so curious and I thought we should give them something to talk about, at least.”
“They already talk enough.”
Jin lifted a brow. “Do they?”
Shrugging a shoulder, Kazuya walked out first. The weather was still nice and he had decided they’d eat outside again. “They think I was in undying love with you.”
Jin grinned, as he followed the younger one to the back yard of the school. They passed benches and bicycle stands, then disappeared between a few trees. “Then they probably think I feel the same now.”
Kazuya threw him a look over his shoulder. “Everyone knows you’re not falling in love. Especially not, just because you hold the door for someone.”
Jin didn’t answer to that, as he sat down.
“Where do you usually go for lunch?” Kazuya sat down next to him.
“Here, the roof top, the swimming pool, the gym or the laboratory, whatever suits.”
“Eh? You should have taken me to the laboratory instead to the roof top then!”
Jin laughed slightly. “It doesn’t really matter, does it?”
Kazuya shrugged, then he took out his lunch box, and to Jin’s surprised pulled out a second one.
“Don’t tell me you made lunch for me?”
Smiling slightly, Kazuya handed it over. “It’s one of my duties, isn’t it? As the one dating you this week.”
Jin tilted his head, not sure what to say. “Not really.”
“Well, I did it, anyways, so eat up.”
Jin opened the box and Kazuya had to admit that getting up that early had been worth it, as he saw the older one’s excited face.
Jin tried some of the karaage and blinked at Kazuya then. “Did you really do that on your own?”
Kazuya nodded with a serious expression. “All of that is self-made.”
Impressed, Jin took another bite and nodded in admiration. “Delicious.”
Smiling, the younger one started to eat his own and in silence, they sat like that for a while.
“I’d prefer to be fed tomorrow again, though”, Jin said then.
Kazuya laughed and leaned against the tree behind him. “You’re old enough to eat by yourself.”
“It’s worth a try”, Jin sighed and then threw Kazuya a grin.
Shaking his head, Kazuya put his box away. “You’re really a lazy idiot.”
“It doesn’t seem to bother you that much.”
“Apparently, it doesn’t”, he agreed. “You’re not used to that, are you?”
Jin shook his head slightly, avoided looking at Kazuya. “Not really. But going through something strange like this, is pretty nice, too.”
“It’s for a change.”
“Something like that. I think next week is going to be pretty dull again.”
Kazuya nodded slowly. “Most likely.”
Jin still didn’t look at him and again, they both fell silent.
Kazuya would have liked to say something, to ask Jin if he really was serious about that, but he couldn’t take that step; couldn’t bring himself to that.
He knew, if he wanted to make Jin change his mind, change his plan of breaking up with Kazuya, then he should have said something right then.
But what if Jin would reject him? Wasn’t it rather obvious Jin would?
Kazuya didn’t think he’d be able to handle that.
“From where do you want to watch those meteors tonight”, Jin changed the topic.
Looking at him again, the younger one tilted his head. “I think from somewhere outside town, since there won’t be that many disturbing lights.”
“Let’s go to the river then.”
“Yeah, that would be a good place. We meet there?”
Jin shook his head. “When will it start?”
“Well, they say they can be seen at around two pm.”
“That late?” Jin seemed rather surprised. “That’s in the middle of the night!”
Kazuya laughed. “It’ll cost you your precious sleep.”
“I guess so. You can make up to me tomorrow then.” He grinned and Kazuya knew Jin would skip classes again to catch up some sleep. And most likely he would make Kazuya stay with him then. “I’ll pick you up at around one, I guess.”
Kazuya blinked. “Why that?”
“They say, at about; that means it could start earlier, but it could also start later. We’ll just make sure.”
Kazuya smiled over Jin’s consideration and nodded. “Okay, then at one.”
“Are you that kind of guy”, Jin wanted to know then. “Wishing upon a shooting star?”
Blinking, Kazuya didn’t know what to say first. “What if I was?”
“I would want to know then what you wish for so desperately, because when there will fall that many shooting stars tonight, then it has to come true, doesn’t it?”
In a loss of words, he looked away, at his feet and tried to say the right thing. He had a lot wishes to make, if he considered it like that. He wanted to wish for his parents changing their minds about his future, a wish for himself to become more confident, to find what he was looking for. He’d probably wish for Jin to look at him and feel the way Kazuya felt.
“I’m not like that”, he answered, after a few moments. “I’m interested in it from a scientific view.”
“Ah, I see.” Jin nodded his head and pulled some grass out, playing with it between his fingers. “I’ll probably make a wish, though.”
Laughing, Kazuya nodded. “I won’t stop you from that.”
Jin stood up and held out his hand to Kazuya. “Let’s go back then, break’s almost over.”
The younger one took Jin’s hand and he realized in that moment, it was the first time he did that. It was warm and somehow Jin’s skin was rougher than he had thought. Jin pulled him up and he probably did it with a bit too much force, because Kazuya bumped into him, their chests pressing together.
Staring at Jin, Kazuya didn’t move away, and it didn’t help at all that Jin just stared back into his eyes. His hand was still holding Kazuya’s tightly and Kazuya didn’t know, when exactly that had happened, but somehow Jin’s other hand was at his waist, while Kazuya held onto his upper arm, as if to balance himself.
Jin tilted his head slightly, and Kazuya started to panic, as he leaned in.
“What are you doing, Jin?”
“I am holding you back from falling”, Jin answered promptly, but didn’t move a single inch away.
“That’s not true.” The younger boy’s voice was soft, even gentle, but still firm. “You’re trying to kiss me.”
Jin was silent for a few seconds and his eyes fell from Kazuya’s eyes to his lips. It sent a hot shiver through Kazuya’s body, and he tried to not let Jin notice. Then Jin’s eyes looked back at his.
“I guess that’s true.”
“You don’t do that, Jin”, Kazuya said calmly, even though he was messed up inside. His heart pounded wildly and he was sure Jin must have noticed it, as close as they stood. He could feel Jin’s, and it wasn’t calmer than his own at all.
“What”, the older wanted to know.
“You don’t kiss the person you’re dating for the week.” Kazuya still didn’t move, though. “It’s not worth it, you said, because you will break up, anyway.”
As if that had brought him back to senses, Jin stared intensely at him, then nodded slowly and stepped back. “Right.”
Letting go of his breath slowly, Kazuya nodded, too, and pulled his hand from Jin’s grip. “Right.”
An awkward silence suddenly lay between them and Kazuya swallowed thickly. “You’re trying hard, aren’t you?”
Jin looked at him with questioning eyes.
“But don’t take it to heart what I said about being precious to you until Monday.” Kazuya managed a slight laugh. “Really, you don’t have to force yourself. I don’t know why I said those things.”
Jin didn’t know what to say. It somehow silenced him, as he had to realize that he wanted Kazuya to be right with that.
But, sadly, Kazuya wasn’t.
For whatever strange reason, Jin had really wanted to kiss him - not because he thought it was what Kazuya wanted, but what he himself had wanted.
But even so, why had Kazuya rejected it? It would have only been a kiss and … Jin stopped at that thought and stared at Kazuya’s face, as the younger turned away from him.
Was he developing any romantic feelings for Kazuya?
Jin gulped, and followed him, as Kazuya walked back without saying a word.
Was he really developing deeper feelings for that boy who had asked him out, only to bring him that far? Kazuya wasn’t aiming to be the one Jin would love, would truly want to stay in his life. Kazuya had only asked him, because he wanted to lecture him.
It was all a trap - Kazuya just tried to make him fall for him, so that in the end, he could triumph over Jin.
And that was something, Jin wouldn’t fall for.
Kazuya was, indeed, tempting. His looks, his innocent nature and the way he made Jin feel and see all those happy things, but also the way he kept Jin interested in him.
That most likely wasn’t the real Kazuya he had gotten to know so far. Kazuya just tried to fool him, so that Jin would fall for him, think he had fallen in love, and then in the end, Kazuya would tell him that was what he had wanted and drop him.
That simply wouldn’t happen.
Jin would play along; he would let Kazuya think he was on a winning path, but in the end, he would be the one to say: “Thanks for the nice time; but now, it’s over.”
He gripped Kazuya’s wrist and stopped him, before they had to part for their class rooms. “I am sorry; I should not have teased you with that.”
Kazuya smiled at him gently. “It’s okay; I don’t know it any differently from you.”
Jin laughed. “See you later, Kazuya.”
He walked off and Kazuya stood where he was, watching Jin’s back, until he was gone and out of sight.
Kazuya sighed heavily and leaned against the wall, tilting his head back.
He had come into the most unpleasant situation. If Jin had kissed him, he would not have been able to hold back anymore.
He’d probably had spilled all his feelings and thoughts at that very moment and Jin would surely not have answered them in the way Kazuya wanted him to answer. So, his only chance had been to stop Jin and it had been easier than the brunette would have thought.
Because, after all, he had been right.
This was nothing but a game for Jin. He just pretended to care, and he was just nice, because that was what his role in this whole act was.
The perfect boyfriend.
But at the end of the week, he would drop Kazuya. Because no matter how one looked at it, it was just a single week they shared and in one week one wouldn’t fall in love.
At least, that was what it was supposed to be like.
Kazuya slid down the wall and buried his face in his hands.
He wanted to play along; he tried to be superficial and just teach Jin a lesson. But instead, he had found that Jin was different, that he actually understood him so very well, and in a way, Kazuya wanted to take away that pain; that suffering look in his eyes.
They were different; they understood that there was more to it, but in a way, they were both too protective of themselves.
Kazuya could just confess; he knew - he could see it in Jin’s eyes and read it in his actions - that he had become special to Jin. Even though it was a game, he had a good chance in winning it.
But Kazuya didn’t want to win anymore. If he confessed and Jin turned him down, he wouldn’t get over it once again.
Not again; he wouldn’t be able to bear that.
It didn’t matter, Kazuya told himself. It didn’t matter, because it wouldn’t last, however.
He would play along until the end, they would part and probably, he could even stay friends with Jin.
Like he could have stayed friends with Tegoshi, although he had moved away.
But, Kazuya thought to himself and stared at the wall across from him, he had never felt that way for Tegoshi, like he felt for Jin now.
They were friends, and if you make friends, you stay in touch.
If you fell in love with someone and then part, you won’t. Because it was just painful to stay in contact with the one you love; but still can’ meet.
Kazuya made a tired noise and pushed himself back to his feet. There was no use in thinking about it that much. He had just been here for about a month, however, it wouldn’t be that difficult to forget the people he met here.
It wouldn’t be difficult to forget Jin.
That day, Kazuya left school without Jin. He quietly disappeared a few minutes, before classes were over, with the excuse he wouldn’t feel well and rushed over the school yard, before he heard the bell ring.
He knew it was foolish, but he didn’t think he could stand it right then. He didn’t know how to face Jin at all.
As he came through the shop’s door, he faced a rather quiet business and greeting Taguchi, as usually, he made his way to the kitchen.
“I am home, Mom”, he said loudly, as he couldn’t see her.
She appeared from some corner and smiled at him. “Ah, Kazu-chan, you’re early.”
“A bit.” He looked around. “Is there anything I can help you with?”
“No, it’s not busy, we’re fine. Go and do your homework.”
Kazuya decided that he had rather helped out than doing homework, but didn’t say anything, as he made his way to the steps.
“By the way, Kazuya”, his mother said then and he turned to her. “Your brother called.”
Kazuya tilted his head. “Nii-chan?”
“He’s saying you can stay with him.”
It started to crumble again. Kazuya had hoped, but he had known his brother would agree on it. His chances to stay here became smaller and smaller. “But…”
“He’s not much at home, anyways, he says, since he works a lot. And his place is really close to that High School.”
Kazuya looked at his father, as he came in from some back room. “Is it?”
She nodded. “He says you didn’t even have to take the metro to get to school from his place.”
“Ah, you’re already telling him?” His father turned to Kazuya. “You’re going to become successful in their baseball team, boy.”
Kazuya nodded. “This school here has quite a good team, too.”
“But you’ll never get to the top if you’re just playing here. In Tokyo and in a team with a reputation like that one’s they will surely notice you.”
“Probably, I am not that good…”
His mother folded her arms in front of her chest. “You sound like you didn’t want to go, Kazuya.”
He gulped. “It’s just…”
“There’s nothing else you’re good at, is there? We want you to make something out of your future.”
“I know”, he answered and nodded in defeat. They were worried about him; and it was true. The only thing he was really good at was baseball. He wasn’t capable of what his brother’s achieved. University, manager; he wouldn’t come that far.
“See”, his mother said and smiled at him. “Take your chances.”
Nodding, he turned and walked up to his room. He crossed the portrait of their family in the corridor and threw a short glance at it.
It was irony, wasn’t it?
He was the youngest; and everyone expected him to be like his brothers. But he probably wasn’t. His parents were right; he wouldn’t ever be like them, so, to not disappoint his family, he should gain success in another way, in a way only he could.
But, even though it had just been one month, Kazuya didn’t want to leave anymore.
He wanted to stay here and call this place home. He wanted to meet Koki and Ueda in class everyday; he wanted to play with them in the afternoons, meet Nakamaru and the others to do silly things; come back here after school and help Taguchi out serving the guests.
He wanted to stay by Jin’s side.
Kazuya fell onto his bed and stared up at the ceiling.
But only with that, he wouldn’t get anywhere and his parents would be disappointed of him. So, he didn’t really have a chance after all.
It was already settled.
His mobile started to play a cheerful music and Kazuya tangled it out of his school bag. He thought about picking up for a moment, but then he decided to do so.
“Why did you leave without me”, Jin’s voice greeted him.
“I didn’t feel well.”
“Eh? Ueda just told me you made up that lie about not feeling well to leave earlier.”
“Did he?” Kazuya sighed. “I am sorry; I had to be home a little earlier today.”
“Is everything okay?”
For a moment, he hesitated. Jin’s concern was not real; he shouldn’t put his hopes too high. “I’m fine.”
“You’re acting strange today, Kazuya”, Jin noticed.
“Sorry?” Kazuya laughed. “You were the one pulling off strange things today, if I remember correctly.”
“Ah, So, you’re still mad at me about that.”
“I need to confess something to you, Jin”, he said seriously then. He could hear Jin hold his breath at the other end. “It’s probably hard for you to believe…” For a moment, Kazuya kept silent. “But you’re not the centre of my world.”
It remained silent for a moment, then Jin released a nervous laugh. “What is that supposed to mean?”
“It means that I have other things on mind than you.”
“Okay, but I know that.”
“Just wanted to make clear.”
Jin laughed again, before he kept silent for a while. “Then, what is it troubling you?”
Fighting with himself, Kazuya bit his lip, let go of a sigh. “I figured, after all, I want to make a wish to the shooting stars tonight.”
Jin kept quiet.
“Because, you know, I have always moved from one place to another.” It was good he didn’t face Jin at that moment. That made it much easier for him to talk about it. “But this place really is nice. I like the school and the people I met here.”
“That’s good then, isn’t it?” Kazuya didn’t know if the sympathy in Jin’s voice meant anything good for him. It probably was acted after all, still.
“It is. And I don’t want to lose it again.” He took a deep breath. “I am going to wish tonight that I could stay here; that this is going to be my home.”
Jin didn’t say anything for a few seconds. “What happened, Kazuya?” His voice was concerned. “Why wouldn’t it be?”
“I’ll go to Tokyo”, he said slowly, as if he had to make himself believe it first. “I’ll attend a school in Tokyo.”
“But you just came here”, Jin automatically answered.
“My parents will stay, they opened the restaurant here. We didn’t know they’d really accept me. I mean, I am no good.” His words were almost only whispered. “I thought I must have failed the tests.”
“And you’ve just gotten the acceptance now?”
Kazuya waited for a while, because he knew Jin would look through it, would understand. “I’ve got it Tuesday.”
It remained silent, and Kazuya knew that Jin had put the puzzle together. That it had been the reason for Kazuya’s sudden visit that night, his sudden urge to be close to Jin.
“They say my test results weren’t satisfying at all, but they’d want me in their baseball team by all means.”
“Well, that’s something good then, isn’t it?”
The crumbling stopped in that moment - it just all broke down. Kazuya knew it was the final push; with that, all hope was gone. “I… I guess so.”
“I mean, baseball’s what you like most, isn’t it?” Jin’s was quite calm; even a bit cheerful. “You’re probably going to get into the national team through that. Or something.”
Kazuya stared at the ceiling, blankly. “Probably.”
“Don’t beat yourself up over that, okay? If your parents stay here, you can always come back and meet them and your friends.”
His parents, his friends; but not Jin.
The older one didn’t want him to stay. He wanted Kazuya to leave, as well. He just felt like crying even more, and rolled to his side, curled up. “You’re right”, he said and put some cheerfulness into his voice.
“See”, Jin answered. “It’s all not that bad. I’ll see you later then.”
“Yeah, later”, Kazuya agreed and hang up then. Thoughts were spinning in his head, emotions in his chest, and it all made him feel dizzy, so he closed his eyes; shut them firmly. But he couldn’t shut out what was inside of him, it kept on nagging at him, making him feel so awfully lonely and lost.
There wasn’t anyone understanding him, after all. No one did; no one ever had.
With that on mind, he fell asleep, into some confusing, deep dreams, and he fitfully turned in his sleep, mumbling incoherent words.
When he woke up, his mobile was ringing again, and running one hand over his face, he picked it up. “Hm?”
“Did you sleep”, Jin asked.
“Somehow”, Kazuya answered sleepily. “What is it?”
“I don’t think we can go tonight.”
Kazuya let his hand fall and frowned. “Why? Do you have anything better to do?”
“That’s not it. I said I wanted to watch it, too, didn’t I?” Jin waited for an answer, but as nothing came, he said: “It’s pouring.”
“What?” Kazuya jumped out of bed and to his window, staring into the dark night sky. A heavy wall of rain was making it almost impossible, though. “But why? The whether forecast said it would stay clear tonight.”
Jin sighed. “I don’t know, but when I last checked, it changed to heavy rain for the whole night.”
Kazuya turned to look at the watch on his night stand. It was almost eleven. “It doesn’t look as if it was going to stop soon.”
“Unfortunately.”
“Well, then…” Kazuya bit his lip, wished he wouldn’t have to say it. “We better cancel our plans.”
“I was looking forward to it”, Jin said quietly.
“Me, too.”
They didn’t talk much more, before they ended the call.
Kazuya fell back to his bed and stared at the ceiling again, wondering why exactly everything went so terribly wrong.
Why didn’t anything go well?
He turned from one side to the other and then hopped from the bed, back to the window. Probably, just maybe, it would clear up.
He’d stay awake and wait, Kazuya decided. He wouldn’t give up that easily, that wasn’t his nature and he wouldn’t let it beat him that easily.
Though, the later it got, the heavier the rain seemed to get.
Kazuya shot his watch another glance, and noticed it had already turned after one. He stared up at the sky again; saw nothing but black and rain.
It frustrated him and without spending a second thought, he grabbed his jacket and ran out, down the stairs and out of the house.
It didn’t take a minute, until he was soaked, but he didn’t really care. He ran in full speed, down the street and out of town to the place he had wanted to be so desperately that night.
He saw the tree, stopped beneath it and leaned against the log, panting. Water was running from his hair down his cheeks and beneath his clothes. They were clutching to his skin, making him feel terribly cold.
Kazuya opened his eyes and stepped out of the cover the tree had given him. He raised his head and narrowed his eyes, as the heavy rain hit his face.
There was no single star to see. The sky was still black, the rain still pouring.
As suddenly something blocked his view and the rain stopped hitting him, he turned his head in surprise and his eyes widened, when he saw Jin next to him; holding an umbrella above the two of them.
“I knew you’d come, anyway”, Jin said calmly.
Kazuya looked down, water dripping from his hair.
Jin looked at him and he seemed so damn broken and lost, even fragile in that moment, it overtook him completely. “Kazuya…”
“I just wanted to make that wish”, Kazuya said quietly. “After all, I just want to stay here.”
The umbrella fell and Jin pulled Kazuya close, embraced him, held him tight, one hand buried in the wet strands of brunette. The rain poured down on them, soaked Jin’s hair.
He pulled back then, just a bit, looked at Kazuya’s face and the younger one stared at him with wide eyes.
Jin tilted his head slightly, and Kazuya started to panic, as he leaned in. He knew that situation too well.
“You don’t do that, Jin”, he said, almost just whispered it.
Jin just stared into his eyes, then he leaned in completely, until their lips met.
It wasn’t as passionate and rough as Jin’s embrace had been. It was slow and gentle and hesitant. He just nipped Kazuya’s lips, as if he wanted to catch the water drops on the younger one’s mouth. His arms automatically pulled Kazuya closer and he broke the kiss, looking at him.
“I can do whatever I want”, he answered then.
Kazuya pressed his lips together, shivered - he wasn’t sure if it was because of Jin or because of the cold rain, but he didn’t really care. “Is this what you wanted to wish for?”
Jin just framed his face; ran his thumb over the younger boy’s cheek.
And then, he fully kissed Kazuya, slow but unhesitant.
While the rain poured down on them from that starless, black sky.
-------------------------------------------------
And now everybody sing: Ai~ Ai~ gasa, no naka de.... Oh wait, wrong pairing. And this is not the time for jokes, I guess ~_~ I am sorry, as I said.... I am out of mind today.
However, thank you so much for reading. I am very sorry to everyone, I already felt so bad when I read all those "I am so excited for the meteor shower" comments for the last chap. Really, SORRY! m(_ _)m I completely ruined everyones expections of romance.
Also, thanks a lot for all the attention this gets. That LJ My Stats function is rather interesting, because I can see how many people visit, and there are always so, so many!!! Thanks so very much to everyone reading along :)
The girls all turned their heads, when the door was pushed open and Jin stepped in. He didn’t look hesitant at all; his eyes were looking at Kazuya only and as usual, didn’t show much of emotion.
Koki waved over at him. “Yo, Jin-kun!”
Throwing him a look, Jin nodded, greeting him back. Then he turned to Kazuya again. The light brunette was still sitting in his place, staring at Jin without any movement.
“Do you have time?”
Kazuya nodded, stood up and grabbed his bag. He felt everyone’s eyes at him, as he walked over to Jin. The older one held the door for him and Kazuya thought he’d never been as embarrassed as he was in that moment.
“You really don’t need to hold the door for me, Jin…”, he mumbled, as they walked down the corridor together.
“But everyone looked so curious and I thought we should give them something to talk about, at least.”
“They already talk enough.”
Jin lifted a brow. “Do they?”
Shrugging a shoulder, Kazuya walked out first. The weather was still nice and he had decided they’d eat outside again. “They think I was in undying love with you.”
Jin grinned, as he followed the younger one to the back yard of the school. They passed benches and bicycle stands, then disappeared between a few trees. “Then they probably think I feel the same now.”
Kazuya threw him a look over his shoulder. “Everyone knows you’re not falling in love. Especially not, just because you hold the door for someone.”
Jin didn’t answer to that, as he sat down.
“Where do you usually go for lunch?” Kazuya sat down next to him.
“Here, the roof top, the swimming pool, the gym or the laboratory, whatever suits.”
“Eh? You should have taken me to the laboratory instead to the roof top then!”
Jin laughed slightly. “It doesn’t really matter, does it?”
Kazuya shrugged, then he took out his lunch box, and to Jin’s surprised pulled out a second one.
“Don’t tell me you made lunch for me?”
Smiling slightly, Kazuya handed it over. “It’s one of my duties, isn’t it? As the one dating you this week.”
Jin tilted his head, not sure what to say. “Not really.”
“Well, I did it, anyways, so eat up.”
Jin opened the box and Kazuya had to admit that getting up that early had been worth it, as he saw the older one’s excited face.
Jin tried some of the karaage and blinked at Kazuya then. “Did you really do that on your own?”
Kazuya nodded with a serious expression. “All of that is self-made.”
Impressed, Jin took another bite and nodded in admiration. “Delicious.”
Smiling, the younger one started to eat his own and in silence, they sat like that for a while.
“I’d prefer to be fed tomorrow again, though”, Jin said then.
Kazuya laughed and leaned against the tree behind him. “You’re old enough to eat by yourself.”
“It’s worth a try”, Jin sighed and then threw Kazuya a grin.
Shaking his head, Kazuya put his box away. “You’re really a lazy idiot.”
“It doesn’t seem to bother you that much.”
“Apparently, it doesn’t”, he agreed. “You’re not used to that, are you?”
Jin shook his head slightly, avoided looking at Kazuya. “Not really. But going through something strange like this, is pretty nice, too.”
“It’s for a change.”
“Something like that. I think next week is going to be pretty dull again.”
Kazuya nodded slowly. “Most likely.”
Jin still didn’t look at him and again, they both fell silent.
Kazuya would have liked to say something, to ask Jin if he really was serious about that, but he couldn’t take that step; couldn’t bring himself to that.
He knew, if he wanted to make Jin change his mind, change his plan of breaking up with Kazuya, then he should have said something right then.
But what if Jin would reject him? Wasn’t it rather obvious Jin would?
Kazuya didn’t think he’d be able to handle that.
“From where do you want to watch those meteors tonight”, Jin changed the topic.
Looking at him again, the younger one tilted his head. “I think from somewhere outside town, since there won’t be that many disturbing lights.”
“Let’s go to the river then.”
“Yeah, that would be a good place. We meet there?”
Jin shook his head. “When will it start?”
“Well, they say they can be seen at around two pm.”
“That late?” Jin seemed rather surprised. “That’s in the middle of the night!”
Kazuya laughed. “It’ll cost you your precious sleep.”
“I guess so. You can make up to me tomorrow then.” He grinned and Kazuya knew Jin would skip classes again to catch up some sleep. And most likely he would make Kazuya stay with him then. “I’ll pick you up at around one, I guess.”
Kazuya blinked. “Why that?”
“They say, at about; that means it could start earlier, but it could also start later. We’ll just make sure.”
Kazuya smiled over Jin’s consideration and nodded. “Okay, then at one.”
“Are you that kind of guy”, Jin wanted to know then. “Wishing upon a shooting star?”
Blinking, Kazuya didn’t know what to say first. “What if I was?”
“I would want to know then what you wish for so desperately, because when there will fall that many shooting stars tonight, then it has to come true, doesn’t it?”
In a loss of words, he looked away, at his feet and tried to say the right thing. He had a lot wishes to make, if he considered it like that. He wanted to wish for his parents changing their minds about his future, a wish for himself to become more confident, to find what he was looking for. He’d probably wish for Jin to look at him and feel the way Kazuya felt.
“I’m not like that”, he answered, after a few moments. “I’m interested in it from a scientific view.”
“Ah, I see.” Jin nodded his head and pulled some grass out, playing with it between his fingers. “I’ll probably make a wish, though.”
Laughing, Kazuya nodded. “I won’t stop you from that.”
Jin stood up and held out his hand to Kazuya. “Let’s go back then, break’s almost over.”
The younger one took Jin’s hand and he realized in that moment, it was the first time he did that. It was warm and somehow Jin’s skin was rougher than he had thought. Jin pulled him up and he probably did it with a bit too much force, because Kazuya bumped into him, their chests pressing together.
Staring at Jin, Kazuya didn’t move away, and it didn’t help at all that Jin just stared back into his eyes. His hand was still holding Kazuya’s tightly and Kazuya didn’t know, when exactly that had happened, but somehow Jin’s other hand was at his waist, while Kazuya held onto his upper arm, as if to balance himself.
Jin tilted his head slightly, and Kazuya started to panic, as he leaned in.
“What are you doing, Jin?”
“I am holding you back from falling”, Jin answered promptly, but didn’t move a single inch away.
“That’s not true.” The younger boy’s voice was soft, even gentle, but still firm. “You’re trying to kiss me.”
Jin was silent for a few seconds and his eyes fell from Kazuya’s eyes to his lips. It sent a hot shiver through Kazuya’s body, and he tried to not let Jin notice. Then Jin’s eyes looked back at his.
“I guess that’s true.”
“You don’t do that, Jin”, Kazuya said calmly, even though he was messed up inside. His heart pounded wildly and he was sure Jin must have noticed it, as close as they stood. He could feel Jin’s, and it wasn’t calmer than his own at all.
“What”, the older wanted to know.
“You don’t kiss the person you’re dating for the week.” Kazuya still didn’t move, though. “It’s not worth it, you said, because you will break up, anyway.”
As if that had brought him back to senses, Jin stared intensely at him, then nodded slowly and stepped back. “Right.”
Letting go of his breath slowly, Kazuya nodded, too, and pulled his hand from Jin’s grip. “Right.”
An awkward silence suddenly lay between them and Kazuya swallowed thickly. “You’re trying hard, aren’t you?”
Jin looked at him with questioning eyes.
“But don’t take it to heart what I said about being precious to you until Monday.” Kazuya managed a slight laugh. “Really, you don’t have to force yourself. I don’t know why I said those things.”
Jin didn’t know what to say. It somehow silenced him, as he had to realize that he wanted Kazuya to be right with that.
But, sadly, Kazuya wasn’t.
For whatever strange reason, Jin had really wanted to kiss him - not because he thought it was what Kazuya wanted, but what he himself had wanted.
But even so, why had Kazuya rejected it? It would have only been a kiss and … Jin stopped at that thought and stared at Kazuya’s face, as the younger turned away from him.
Was he developing any romantic feelings for Kazuya?
Jin gulped, and followed him, as Kazuya walked back without saying a word.
Was he really developing deeper feelings for that boy who had asked him out, only to bring him that far? Kazuya wasn’t aiming to be the one Jin would love, would truly want to stay in his life. Kazuya had only asked him, because he wanted to lecture him.
It was all a trap - Kazuya just tried to make him fall for him, so that in the end, he could triumph over Jin.
And that was something, Jin wouldn’t fall for.
Kazuya was, indeed, tempting. His looks, his innocent nature and the way he made Jin feel and see all those happy things, but also the way he kept Jin interested in him.
That most likely wasn’t the real Kazuya he had gotten to know so far. Kazuya just tried to fool him, so that Jin would fall for him, think he had fallen in love, and then in the end, Kazuya would tell him that was what he had wanted and drop him.
That simply wouldn’t happen.
Jin would play along; he would let Kazuya think he was on a winning path, but in the end, he would be the one to say: “Thanks for the nice time; but now, it’s over.”
He gripped Kazuya’s wrist and stopped him, before they had to part for their class rooms. “I am sorry; I should not have teased you with that.”
Kazuya smiled at him gently. “It’s okay; I don’t know it any differently from you.”
Jin laughed. “See you later, Kazuya.”
He walked off and Kazuya stood where he was, watching Jin’s back, until he was gone and out of sight.
Kazuya sighed heavily and leaned against the wall, tilting his head back.
He had come into the most unpleasant situation. If Jin had kissed him, he would not have been able to hold back anymore.
He’d probably had spilled all his feelings and thoughts at that very moment and Jin would surely not have answered them in the way Kazuya wanted him to answer. So, his only chance had been to stop Jin and it had been easier than the brunette would have thought.
Because, after all, he had been right.
This was nothing but a game for Jin. He just pretended to care, and he was just nice, because that was what his role in this whole act was.
The perfect boyfriend.
But at the end of the week, he would drop Kazuya. Because no matter how one looked at it, it was just a single week they shared and in one week one wouldn’t fall in love.
At least, that was what it was supposed to be like.
Kazuya slid down the wall and buried his face in his hands.
He wanted to play along; he tried to be superficial and just teach Jin a lesson. But instead, he had found that Jin was different, that he actually understood him so very well, and in a way, Kazuya wanted to take away that pain; that suffering look in his eyes.
They were different; they understood that there was more to it, but in a way, they were both too protective of themselves.
Kazuya could just confess; he knew - he could see it in Jin’s eyes and read it in his actions - that he had become special to Jin. Even though it was a game, he had a good chance in winning it.
But Kazuya didn’t want to win anymore. If he confessed and Jin turned him down, he wouldn’t get over it once again.
Not again; he wouldn’t be able to bear that.
It didn’t matter, Kazuya told himself. It didn’t matter, because it wouldn’t last, however.
He would play along until the end, they would part and probably, he could even stay friends with Jin.
Like he could have stayed friends with Tegoshi, although he had moved away.
But, Kazuya thought to himself and stared at the wall across from him, he had never felt that way for Tegoshi, like he felt for Jin now.
They were friends, and if you make friends, you stay in touch.
If you fell in love with someone and then part, you won’t. Because it was just painful to stay in contact with the one you love; but still can’ meet.
Kazuya made a tired noise and pushed himself back to his feet. There was no use in thinking about it that much. He had just been here for about a month, however, it wouldn’t be that difficult to forget the people he met here.
It wouldn’t be difficult to forget Jin.
That day, Kazuya left school without Jin. He quietly disappeared a few minutes, before classes were over, with the excuse he wouldn’t feel well and rushed over the school yard, before he heard the bell ring.
He knew it was foolish, but he didn’t think he could stand it right then. He didn’t know how to face Jin at all.
As he came through the shop’s door, he faced a rather quiet business and greeting Taguchi, as usually, he made his way to the kitchen.
“I am home, Mom”, he said loudly, as he couldn’t see her.
She appeared from some corner and smiled at him. “Ah, Kazu-chan, you’re early.”
“A bit.” He looked around. “Is there anything I can help you with?”
“No, it’s not busy, we’re fine. Go and do your homework.”
Kazuya decided that he had rather helped out than doing homework, but didn’t say anything, as he made his way to the steps.
“By the way, Kazuya”, his mother said then and he turned to her. “Your brother called.”
Kazuya tilted his head. “Nii-chan?”
“He’s saying you can stay with him.”
It started to crumble again. Kazuya had hoped, but he had known his brother would agree on it. His chances to stay here became smaller and smaller. “But…”
“He’s not much at home, anyways, he says, since he works a lot. And his place is really close to that High School.”
Kazuya looked at his father, as he came in from some back room. “Is it?”
She nodded. “He says you didn’t even have to take the metro to get to school from his place.”
“Ah, you’re already telling him?” His father turned to Kazuya. “You’re going to become successful in their baseball team, boy.”
Kazuya nodded. “This school here has quite a good team, too.”
“But you’ll never get to the top if you’re just playing here. In Tokyo and in a team with a reputation like that one’s they will surely notice you.”
“Probably, I am not that good…”
His mother folded her arms in front of her chest. “You sound like you didn’t want to go, Kazuya.”
He gulped. “It’s just…”
“There’s nothing else you’re good at, is there? We want you to make something out of your future.”
“I know”, he answered and nodded in defeat. They were worried about him; and it was true. The only thing he was really good at was baseball. He wasn’t capable of what his brother’s achieved. University, manager; he wouldn’t come that far.
“See”, his mother said and smiled at him. “Take your chances.”
Nodding, he turned and walked up to his room. He crossed the portrait of their family in the corridor and threw a short glance at it.
It was irony, wasn’t it?
He was the youngest; and everyone expected him to be like his brothers. But he probably wasn’t. His parents were right; he wouldn’t ever be like them, so, to not disappoint his family, he should gain success in another way, in a way only he could.
But, even though it had just been one month, Kazuya didn’t want to leave anymore.
He wanted to stay here and call this place home. He wanted to meet Koki and Ueda in class everyday; he wanted to play with them in the afternoons, meet Nakamaru and the others to do silly things; come back here after school and help Taguchi out serving the guests.
He wanted to stay by Jin’s side.
Kazuya fell onto his bed and stared up at the ceiling.
But only with that, he wouldn’t get anywhere and his parents would be disappointed of him. So, he didn’t really have a chance after all.
It was already settled.
His mobile started to play a cheerful music and Kazuya tangled it out of his school bag. He thought about picking up for a moment, but then he decided to do so.
“Why did you leave without me”, Jin’s voice greeted him.
“I didn’t feel well.”
“Eh? Ueda just told me you made up that lie about not feeling well to leave earlier.”
“Did he?” Kazuya sighed. “I am sorry; I had to be home a little earlier today.”
“Is everything okay?”
For a moment, he hesitated. Jin’s concern was not real; he shouldn’t put his hopes too high. “I’m fine.”
“You’re acting strange today, Kazuya”, Jin noticed.
“Sorry?” Kazuya laughed. “You were the one pulling off strange things today, if I remember correctly.”
“Ah, So, you’re still mad at me about that.”
“I need to confess something to you, Jin”, he said seriously then. He could hear Jin hold his breath at the other end. “It’s probably hard for you to believe…” For a moment, Kazuya kept silent. “But you’re not the centre of my world.”
It remained silent for a moment, then Jin released a nervous laugh. “What is that supposed to mean?”
“It means that I have other things on mind than you.”
“Okay, but I know that.”
“Just wanted to make clear.”
Jin laughed again, before he kept silent for a while. “Then, what is it troubling you?”
Fighting with himself, Kazuya bit his lip, let go of a sigh. “I figured, after all, I want to make a wish to the shooting stars tonight.”
Jin kept quiet.
“Because, you know, I have always moved from one place to another.” It was good he didn’t face Jin at that moment. That made it much easier for him to talk about it. “But this place really is nice. I like the school and the people I met here.”
“That’s good then, isn’t it?” Kazuya didn’t know if the sympathy in Jin’s voice meant anything good for him. It probably was acted after all, still.
“It is. And I don’t want to lose it again.” He took a deep breath. “I am going to wish tonight that I could stay here; that this is going to be my home.”
Jin didn’t say anything for a few seconds. “What happened, Kazuya?” His voice was concerned. “Why wouldn’t it be?”
“I’ll go to Tokyo”, he said slowly, as if he had to make himself believe it first. “I’ll attend a school in Tokyo.”
“But you just came here”, Jin automatically answered.
“My parents will stay, they opened the restaurant here. We didn’t know they’d really accept me. I mean, I am no good.” His words were almost only whispered. “I thought I must have failed the tests.”
“And you’ve just gotten the acceptance now?”
Kazuya waited for a while, because he knew Jin would look through it, would understand. “I’ve got it Tuesday.”
It remained silent, and Kazuya knew that Jin had put the puzzle together. That it had been the reason for Kazuya’s sudden visit that night, his sudden urge to be close to Jin.
“They say my test results weren’t satisfying at all, but they’d want me in their baseball team by all means.”
“Well, that’s something good then, isn’t it?”
The crumbling stopped in that moment - it just all broke down. Kazuya knew it was the final push; with that, all hope was gone. “I… I guess so.”
“I mean, baseball’s what you like most, isn’t it?” Jin’s was quite calm; even a bit cheerful. “You’re probably going to get into the national team through that. Or something.”
Kazuya stared at the ceiling, blankly. “Probably.”
“Don’t beat yourself up over that, okay? If your parents stay here, you can always come back and meet them and your friends.”
His parents, his friends; but not Jin.
The older one didn’t want him to stay. He wanted Kazuya to leave, as well. He just felt like crying even more, and rolled to his side, curled up. “You’re right”, he said and put some cheerfulness into his voice.
“See”, Jin answered. “It’s all not that bad. I’ll see you later then.”
“Yeah, later”, Kazuya agreed and hang up then. Thoughts were spinning in his head, emotions in his chest, and it all made him feel dizzy, so he closed his eyes; shut them firmly. But he couldn’t shut out what was inside of him, it kept on nagging at him, making him feel so awfully lonely and lost.
There wasn’t anyone understanding him, after all. No one did; no one ever had.
With that on mind, he fell asleep, into some confusing, deep dreams, and he fitfully turned in his sleep, mumbling incoherent words.
When he woke up, his mobile was ringing again, and running one hand over his face, he picked it up. “Hm?”
“Did you sleep”, Jin asked.
“Somehow”, Kazuya answered sleepily. “What is it?”
“I don’t think we can go tonight.”
Kazuya let his hand fall and frowned. “Why? Do you have anything better to do?”
“That’s not it. I said I wanted to watch it, too, didn’t I?” Jin waited for an answer, but as nothing came, he said: “It’s pouring.”
“What?” Kazuya jumped out of bed and to his window, staring into the dark night sky. A heavy wall of rain was making it almost impossible, though. “But why? The whether forecast said it would stay clear tonight.”
Jin sighed. “I don’t know, but when I last checked, it changed to heavy rain for the whole night.”
Kazuya turned to look at the watch on his night stand. It was almost eleven. “It doesn’t look as if it was going to stop soon.”
“Unfortunately.”
“Well, then…” Kazuya bit his lip, wished he wouldn’t have to say it. “We better cancel our plans.”
“I was looking forward to it”, Jin said quietly.
“Me, too.”
They didn’t talk much more, before they ended the call.
Kazuya fell back to his bed and stared at the ceiling again, wondering why exactly everything went so terribly wrong.
Why didn’t anything go well?
He turned from one side to the other and then hopped from the bed, back to the window. Probably, just maybe, it would clear up.
He’d stay awake and wait, Kazuya decided. He wouldn’t give up that easily, that wasn’t his nature and he wouldn’t let it beat him that easily.
Though, the later it got, the heavier the rain seemed to get.
Kazuya shot his watch another glance, and noticed it had already turned after one. He stared up at the sky again; saw nothing but black and rain.
It frustrated him and without spending a second thought, he grabbed his jacket and ran out, down the stairs and out of the house.
It didn’t take a minute, until he was soaked, but he didn’t really care. He ran in full speed, down the street and out of town to the place he had wanted to be so desperately that night.
He saw the tree, stopped beneath it and leaned against the log, panting. Water was running from his hair down his cheeks and beneath his clothes. They were clutching to his skin, making him feel terribly cold.
Kazuya opened his eyes and stepped out of the cover the tree had given him. He raised his head and narrowed his eyes, as the heavy rain hit his face.
There was no single star to see. The sky was still black, the rain still pouring.
As suddenly something blocked his view and the rain stopped hitting him, he turned his head in surprise and his eyes widened, when he saw Jin next to him; holding an umbrella above the two of them.
“I knew you’d come, anyway”, Jin said calmly.
Kazuya looked down, water dripping from his hair.
Jin looked at him and he seemed so damn broken and lost, even fragile in that moment, it overtook him completely. “Kazuya…”
“I just wanted to make that wish”, Kazuya said quietly. “After all, I just want to stay here.”
The umbrella fell and Jin pulled Kazuya close, embraced him, held him tight, one hand buried in the wet strands of brunette. The rain poured down on them, soaked Jin’s hair.
He pulled back then, just a bit, looked at Kazuya’s face and the younger one stared at him with wide eyes.
Jin tilted his head slightly, and Kazuya started to panic, as he leaned in. He knew that situation too well.
“You don’t do that, Jin”, he said, almost just whispered it.
Jin just stared into his eyes, then he leaned in completely, until their lips met.
It wasn’t as passionate and rough as Jin’s embrace had been. It was slow and gentle and hesitant. He just nipped Kazuya’s lips, as if he wanted to catch the water drops on the younger one’s mouth. His arms automatically pulled Kazuya closer and he broke the kiss, looking at him.
“I can do whatever I want”, he answered then.
Kazuya pressed his lips together, shivered - he wasn’t sure if it was because of Jin or because of the cold rain, but he didn’t really care. “Is this what you wanted to wish for?”
Jin just framed his face; ran his thumb over the younger boy’s cheek.
And then, he fully kissed Kazuya, slow but unhesitant.
While the rain poured down on them from that starless, black sky.
-------------------------------------------------
And now everybody sing: Ai~ Ai~ gasa, no naka de.... Oh wait, wrong pairing. And this is not the time for jokes, I guess ~_~ I am sorry, as I said.... I am out of mind today.
However, thank you so much for reading. I am very sorry to everyone, I already felt so bad when I read all those "I am so excited for the meteor shower" comments for the last chap. Really, SORRY! m(_ _)m I completely ruined everyones expections of romance.
Also, thanks a lot for all the attention this gets. That LJ My Stats function is rather interesting, because I can see how many people visit, and there are always so, so many!!! Thanks so very much to everyone reading along :)