What's next?
I'm officially no longer an employee at Jaguar. This means I'm back at WSG, and I'm already bored out of my mind, like I expected. The funny thing is, I show up, and everyone's got this Why are you not in a kitchen somewhere? feel to them, and it's already beginning to make me think if I should really be here at all. Here, I take care of the shit that no one wants to do, mind my P's and Q's, and get paid way too much for it. I'm trying to avoid admitting that I'm going to be bored here within the week. Everyone has been suggesting places for work, which I'm grateful for, but isn't this where I wanted to be, even for a short while? Didn't I decide to put my career on hold to pay off my debts and bulk up my savings? It's what I wanted, but I honestly feel dulled down here. When I first started, everyday was full of bullshit to complete, but it was busy work. Everyone went out to lunch to actually enjoy the location of their job to the full extent (yay Miami Beach =P). Now, everyone is used to ordering in, and the life is gone. If you're not on salary, then it's obvious how dead-end this place is. Maybe it's just me.
Everyone has decided for me in that I'll be working in kitchens for the rest of my life. Hardly the case, but not too entirely far from the truth just yet. In honesty, I still don't know what is going on for me, ultimately. I keep getting a strong urge to continue schooling, but I refuse to get stuck in this city... My goal is to be out of here within the year, or at least a year within graduating from LCB (which will be Oct. 13, thank god). It's funny to watch my own personal 'progress' about things as of late - from getting used to being a loner to being utterly and entirely broke. It hadn't really occured to me how busy I'd made myself until Adam gave me kudos on 'actually doing something after highschool', which apparently isn't the case with a lot of people he knows. All I really understand is how little time I've had for anything other than work and occasional sleep, which practically put my social life on the rocks. It's strange feeling like I have nothing to do, other than be in attendance at WSG for 40 hours a week, then try to do something productive at least once a day. Restlessness/anxiety would probably be closer to the truth, and lots of marijuana smoking have been my solace for the past month. I don't know what I'm poorly attempting to get at, I just know I need something more to sustain my sanity... Which brings me to add that I've been spending time with the person I'd least expect, and it's turned out to be a pleasant surprise. Coexistence has been made possible, and it's helped to soothe a lot of nerves. I'm grateful and am capabable of feeling at peace, for now. I guess I'll see how long we can keep it up and hope for the best.
I keep getting a strong urge to do something, anything... Yet I can't differentiate what area of my life I need to do it for... I want to go on a small vacation, to just get away... Maybe a theme park for a day, just to get out of this city and share it with someone special. Or to go ahead and just dive into building my resume and not look back... To just be consumed by my career. In truth, I think I'll wait to be led into the latter by devastation, however it may befall me. Not that I'm expecting it, but with my track record, it's never too far away. Arrrgh.... whatever it is, my patience is wearing and my anxiety is getting admittedly worse. Just got to learn how to unwind... Yeah.
I need to start jogging. I need to pay off debts. I need to graduate. I need to figure out what's next. Then maybe, hopefully the anxiety will dissipate.
I also need to see my people: You know who you are. Amanda. Amber. Aly. Anyone else who feels they apply. Call me, and help take some of this time off my hands.
786.218.8986
Everyone has decided for me in that I'll be working in kitchens for the rest of my life. Hardly the case, but not too entirely far from the truth just yet. In honesty, I still don't know what is going on for me, ultimately. I keep getting a strong urge to continue schooling, but I refuse to get stuck in this city... My goal is to be out of here within the year, or at least a year within graduating from LCB (which will be Oct. 13, thank god). It's funny to watch my own personal 'progress' about things as of late - from getting used to being a loner to being utterly and entirely broke. It hadn't really occured to me how busy I'd made myself until Adam gave me kudos on 'actually doing something after highschool', which apparently isn't the case with a lot of people he knows. All I really understand is how little time I've had for anything other than work and occasional sleep, which practically put my social life on the rocks. It's strange feeling like I have nothing to do, other than be in attendance at WSG for 40 hours a week, then try to do something productive at least once a day. Restlessness/anxiety would probably be closer to the truth, and lots of marijuana smoking have been my solace for the past month. I don't know what I'm poorly attempting to get at, I just know I need something more to sustain my sanity... Which brings me to add that I've been spending time with the person I'd least expect, and it's turned out to be a pleasant surprise. Coexistence has been made possible, and it's helped to soothe a lot of nerves. I'm grateful and am capabable of feeling at peace, for now. I guess I'll see how long we can keep it up and hope for the best.
I keep getting a strong urge to do something, anything... Yet I can't differentiate what area of my life I need to do it for... I want to go on a small vacation, to just get away... Maybe a theme park for a day, just to get out of this city and share it with someone special. Or to go ahead and just dive into building my resume and not look back... To just be consumed by my career. In truth, I think I'll wait to be led into the latter by devastation, however it may befall me. Not that I'm expecting it, but with my track record, it's never too far away. Arrrgh.... whatever it is, my patience is wearing and my anxiety is getting admittedly worse. Just got to learn how to unwind... Yeah.
I need to start jogging. I need to pay off debts. I need to graduate. I need to figure out what's next. Then maybe, hopefully the anxiety will dissipate.
I also need to see my people: You know who you are. Amanda. Amber. Aly. Anyone else who feels they apply. Call me, and help take some of this time off my hands.
786.218.8986