No Social Life for You

[greed_hughes]

I haven't said anything here in a long time, I realize.  I just don't have the time--that, and I've basically moved over to DeviantArt.  Sorry, y'all.

It seems more and more recently that my life is completely controlled by my parents--ever single fucking aspect of it.  I can't do something one day because I did something else SIMILAR the previous--

Comments

[gozita2003]

oh how I know of this..

My mom is kind of the same, I know she doesn't seem like the type with what I get to do, but..

Your parents are over protective, I understand that, yes. But they care so much about you, they worry. They want you to have good grades so you can live a good life. Not as a waitress like my mom or grandma, they don't want you to have such a job. They want you to have a better future than what they have now. They want you to have the best!

Now I'm not sure if I'm talking about myself or you here, but I'm trying to stay with you whil using me as an example.

Never below a B, huh? My mom wishes so hard for me to have done that. She wants me to have A's. C's are horrible, B's are okay. I have to have a 3.5 GPA, I need to do scholarships, I need to study for the SAT, I need to study for the ACT. I need to take them both twice. I need to find another job. I have to buy everything myself. I have to pay bills. I have to clean this and that. I need to pay to fix the car.

I know how you feel. I don't even have time to hang out with friends, and when I get the chance, I CANT. My mom says I have something to do.

And I know, I'm talking about me, and I do apologize, but I think I'm trying to clear my own system out as well, so yeah.

But my life has been fucked up lately too. Ive been sick. Im stranded with Algebra II homework I don't goddamn understand. I have chemistry and English. I have to make up a quiz in English. I am FUCKED. I have a D in Algebra II, and my mom wont shut up about my grades, and It's too pressurizing. I'm stressed and nothing but exhausted lately.

I'm tired of dealing with all the bullshit at work about womanizing Jokes from one guy, that I just want to punch in the balls to see him writh. I need another job because I can't get enough goddamn hours to do anything this summer, which I NEED. I don't have really ANY taxes at all, because of the LOWhours I'm getting. It's pissing me off.

I hardly see my faimly together. I want to spend time with them together, yes. Even my brother, who I NEVER even see anymore. Despite how he is, It's different not seeing him as much anymore, because he himself is so busy. And I know the fact that he's going to be screwed once he starts college because it's been so long and all he does is sleep, eat, and work.

I just wish I could have freedom. I wish you could too. I wish that I was there with you to keep you company and everything, I really do. I wish I could do that with all of my friends, but I can't be in 40 different places at once, everyone knows that.

It's like everyone expects us to be perfect and through everything that goes wrong, to come out smiling because of who we are. They don't realize how hard that is. They just don't. If they were in our shoes for one day, they'd understand us and our stress and everything about us, but they aren't. No matter what we say, it isn't enough.

But I agree with Taisa, you should talk to your parents about this. I talked to my mom about being stressed and I kind of felt better, yes. Not completely, because it was mostly resorted around Alg II tests that I fail. I don't know what else to tell you though. Just sit and talk with them, okay?

Sorry that I did some ranting of myself instead of cheering you up. I'm just having a REALLY off time lately. Sorry.

Hope you feel better soon.

~Edo

[greed_hughes]

'Tis oki, girl. Sometimes you just need to let it out, whether or not someone's actually 'listening.' It's so easy to dole out the general "you should do this" or "you should try that" advice... It's difficult to apply it. I'd love to be able to tell them this--I really would. But I'm their little baby. Nothing in MY life could possibly be as stressful as theirs.

(brief intermission as I get yelled at to go do the dishes)

I walked in the front door yesterday after practice (5:40, mind ya) and asked dad why he was dressed up. We were apparently going out to dinner. So we went to dinner, never mind my two hours of history homework, hour of english homework, half hour of trig homework, and half hour of Anime Club Website updating. We sat down for dinner at about 6:00. We didn't get home until 9:30. I was up until 12:30 doing my stupid homework, didn't get to sleep until 1:30 because my NyQuil wouldn't take effect, and had to get up at 6 to finish the stupid homework. I don't operate on that kind of schedule.

On top of everything else, I'm just exhausted. Everything's falling apart and I don't know what to grab with which hand to keep it from falling to pieces completely. Apparently this past week or two I've dropped something I really didn't want to.

Thankees for the sharing, though.