Lost
Here is the full version of what I meant to say in my last post, as taken from my notebook journal...
A lost soul
Makes $X a week
$X a month
Makes no sense to let go.
It's relatively laid back
I fill my niche
I get to be me, at least
more than I would elsewhere
But I need something else.
I like studying.
But it puts such a chokehold
on me.
I think I like traveling. But it is an expiring experience.
I like to "feel" things, but rarely are things taken with me.
At least, not anymore.
I could concentrate on finance for my last 6 masters classes. It would be a scary job transition, but that really may be there for me.
I have saved money as best I can.
I own my car. I wanted to buy a house this year, but after my last relationship I don't trust myself to stay here in Detroit for longer than a year at a time. But maybe that's because I like Canada so much.
I really like the West coast, the Southwest, and New York City. I have yet to feel much for Chicago, though.
My plan actually was to be a businessman in a big city in my late 20's/early 30's before moving "home" to Traverse City for a teaching position. There is a feeling I get from travel -- kind of neurotic, orgasmic.
It comes from just seeing locations, seeing housing.
When I drive along the freeway I imagine living in the cabin up in the woods. This gives me a feeling of immense relaxation and I physically get the chills, my hair stands on end, my brain tingles the feeling I get when lectured by a wonderful professor or a great speaker. I want to pull off that road and talk to the people there. To sit on that porch and take deep breaths.
It's a difficult life when your brain was made for traffic lights and skyscrapers, but your heart was made for streams, cabin lakes, and fireplaces.
I truly am a simple person, trying to live a complicated life as an investment towards a potentially beautiful feature.
Whether that means Northern Michigan or a family, I can't hardly wait.
A lost soul
Makes $X a week
$X a month
Makes no sense to let go.
It's relatively laid back
I fill my niche
I get to be me, at least
more than I would elsewhere
But I need something else.
I like studying.
But it puts such a chokehold
on me.
I think I like traveling. But it is an expiring experience.
I like to "feel" things, but rarely are things taken with me.
At least, not anymore.
I could concentrate on finance for my last 6 masters classes. It would be a scary job transition, but that really may be there for me.
I have saved money as best I can.
I own my car. I wanted to buy a house this year, but after my last relationship I don't trust myself to stay here in Detroit for longer than a year at a time. But maybe that's because I like Canada so much.
I really like the West coast, the Southwest, and New York City. I have yet to feel much for Chicago, though.
My plan actually was to be a businessman in a big city in my late 20's/early 30's before moving "home" to Traverse City for a teaching position. There is a feeling I get from travel -- kind of neurotic, orgasmic.
It comes from just seeing locations, seeing housing.
When I drive along the freeway I imagine living in the cabin up in the woods. This gives me a feeling of immense relaxation and I physically get the chills, my hair stands on end, my brain tingles the feeling I get when lectured by a wonderful professor or a great speaker. I want to pull off that road and talk to the people there. To sit on that porch and take deep breaths.
It's a difficult life when your brain was made for traffic lights and skyscrapers, but your heart was made for streams, cabin lakes, and fireplaces.
I truly am a simple person, trying to live a complicated life as an investment towards a potentially beautiful feature.
Whether that means Northern Michigan or a family, I can't hardly wait.