(no subject)
oh hey, look its my eye.
I dont even remember how to make journal post rants anymore. I'm too old. i just looked back 3 years ago and it was a struggle to get myself to think like that again. I still feel so naive.
Before i went to college i was scared of it. I was always afraid that i would go there, get a degree and then be in a job i hated. Kind of like it was a slide in the park or some other one shot analogy.
"who wants to ride the business slide?" not me.
So i got my first serious job. lifeguard. I didnt know how Me it was until i realized im still doing it. wow!
Then I went to community college for like a year. I never realized how transitionary community college is until i went to college college. I thought id be an electrician or something. I think i just wore "that hat" for a while so people would stop asking me what i was going to school for. STuPid me....
I had my first real relationship.
I went to the real deal college. Let me tell you. This was the real deal. I was very nervous and afraid. It took me so long to figure out what i was supposed to be doing. I made lots of buddies and New Friends. That feels awesome. Even now. To know that i dont just make friends by chance. That i can actually go out and make friends. I had a lot of adult experiences go on from the moment i started going to mississippi state. But i never realized i was an adult.
Now i realize.
Im living in a new house, paying rent, lifeguarding, trying to save money and face and get my ass back up to college. I think thats where i need to be. I need to go up there. Real bad.
I dont know if ill post again. I would say maybe periodically. I have the internet all the time now. Maybe when i get up to starkville, just to have closure with this journal and growing i did on the internet. I dont know. Only God knows.
ttfn
josh
I dont even remember how to make journal post rants anymore. I'm too old. i just looked back 3 years ago and it was a struggle to get myself to think like that again. I still feel so naive.
Before i went to college i was scared of it. I was always afraid that i would go there, get a degree and then be in a job i hated. Kind of like it was a slide in the park or some other one shot analogy.
"who wants to ride the business slide?" not me.
So i got my first serious job. lifeguard. I didnt know how Me it was until i realized im still doing it. wow!
Then I went to community college for like a year. I never realized how transitionary community college is until i went to college college. I thought id be an electrician or something. I think i just wore "that hat" for a while so people would stop asking me what i was going to school for. STuPid me....
I had my first real relationship.
I went to the real deal college. Let me tell you. This was the real deal. I was very nervous and afraid. It took me so long to figure out what i was supposed to be doing. I made lots of buddies and New Friends. That feels awesome. Even now. To know that i dont just make friends by chance. That i can actually go out and make friends. I had a lot of adult experiences go on from the moment i started going to mississippi state. But i never realized i was an adult.
Now i realize.
Im living in a new house, paying rent, lifeguarding, trying to save money and face and get my ass back up to college. I think thats where i need to be. I need to go up there. Real bad.
I dont know if ill post again. I would say maybe periodically. I have the internet all the time now. Maybe when i get up to starkville, just to have closure with this journal and growing i did on the internet. I dont know. Only God knows.
ttfn
josh