"Three Tears I've Saved For You!"

[graves_13]

ok so here it is to all you dumb fucks back in az. I love you guys to death but i have had alot on my mind lately and they concern pretty much just two people. You two are my best friends and i am seeing you do such stupid things , one alot more than the other. wtf is wrong with you guys do you really think i want to have to watch you two die from

Comments

[lost_and_found3]

who the suck do you think you are to call ME a dumb fuck? fuck you, i love you, but fuck you. ya you're right i'm a fucking stoner, you know fuckin why? b/c of all this shit have to deal with back home that yo ran away from. i hate my mom, i want to kill myself half the time, i'm cutting again, and i hate everything i see in myself. so fuck your opinions, and fuck what you think, if you're my friend help me, don;t talk down on me, and don't walk away. help me, don't fuckin hurt me. cuz yo uknow what, you just did more than you know, and i hope i'm here to say i'm ok soon, cuz sometimes i just don't know anymore, and it all starts with the bull shit, please don't cause more. i love you.

[graves_13]

you know i should have figured you would have taken that the wrong way so you know what if that is how you really feel about me then that is cool. i said what i felt out of love for you trying to make sure you don't fucking kill yourself like i have seen so many other people do and you take it the wrong way and blow up on me. so no one was causing bullshit just trying to talk sense but hey if that is bullshit to you then cool i'm out.

[lost_and_found3]

i didn;t take it wrong the wrong way, i took it exactly how you said it. you called me a dumb fuck from back home, what am i supposed to say back? and i didn;t say anything about how i feel about you ,besides the i love ou at the end like always, YOU are the one sayin how you feel about people. you wanna think i'm "killing myself" fuckin fine, as my friend you should repect the fact that it's my decision to do these things, MINE, NOT YOURS!!! if leanne wants to smoke that is HER DECISION NOT YOURS!! i don't rag on that fact that you decide to hang out and start talking like your girlfriend that thinks she's a nigger do i? antonio, i love you, but i also know that this is one of your phases, you'll be fine in a while, cuz you'll find something else to hate, or bitch about or whatever. that's what you do. i love you to death but we all have little things that we do that our friends hate, me smoking, you it's that you complaina about your friends and you turn into your girlfriends. oh kinda like who is it?? hmmm.....ryan maybe, oh

[graves_13]

lol i am sorry but that was the most retarded thing i have ever heard you say. for as long as i have known you i have never once told you what to do how to act or what to say. and as for the acting like my gf's thing ummm no not really sorry kid yah my gf does talk and act like a nigger and i love that she does cuz it makes me laugh i never once acted like mariah she is the one that started being more like me and i have said shit like Peace and I'm out for years allright. i know i have my own problems but people like mariah have let me see them and i am over them and one of the problems that i did have was letting the people i care about most do stupid ass shit. i have never done anything like this before i have never complained about you are leen. and if you really wanna know who is acting like their bf or gf why don't u just talk to our friend leanne and my friend katelyn and everyone else that knows you and mike and u will see who is acting like what.

[lost_and_found3]

fuck you, how do i act like mike? how do you fucking think i do that honestly?? i act how i want to act,not how he wants me to, and fuck what katelyn thinks she's a bitch anyways, and if leanne thinks that too then fuck her, and fuck you. the only thing that mike has done to me is make me realize how i let everyone walk all over me, and now i'm starting to fix that. i'm the only fucking one who's even tried to make this friendship work and to make it better, all you do is throw it away every couple weeks. all i see now is how you DON'T fucking care about me, or anything that i do or feel, you just want control of something, cuz you have no control over your own life. you were my best friend and now i hear you tell leanne that she can't mention my name anymore cuz you don't want to hear about me cuz you want nothing to do with me...well if that's how yo feel then fuck you. i never thought i would want someone i love to stay so far away from me, but now i do, and i know now that it's only because you aren't YOU you're whoever the fuck

[graves_13]

i said that to leen because i was angry.yes i do have control over my own life for the first time for a long time i actually do. i haven't changed into anything i am the same person i have tried to make things work i am not going to argue anymore. like i said before this i am done getting involved in your personal life i will keep my opinions to myself and let you do what you want. i did love you and still care about you right now even though u hate me. u might think i am doing this for my own selfish reasons and that is fine it is your opinion. i am not going to get involved when i come home hopefully you will see that all of the stuff you thought was never true and that i am better than i was before and we can be friends. until then u can be mad at me or hate me or whatever you want it is your life i am staying out of it.

[lost_and_found3]

i don't hate YOU i hate the things yo usay to me and how you make me feel. i love you. i wish you were here. i'm sorry you don't like what i do in my spare time, but you know i think of it this way, i'm happy i'm not doing anything else that i was and could be doing.

[graves_13]

ash the only reason you don't do those things is because you are afraid of another person walking out of your life. you have been lied to your whole life and made believe that everything was your fault so you take it out on yourself. idk why as many times as i have told you that it wasn't your fault and held you in my arms as you have cried you still think that everything that is bad is your fault. i say these things not meaning to be hurtful you know i am horrible with expressing myself all i wanted to get out of this was to show you that your hurting yourself and other people. you think you are happy but how long does that last now?

[lost_and_found3]

no i know i'm not happy, i do it to make everything go away, and it really does work, and i like being numb to all of my pain anyways. i hate having to deal with it all alone...cuz i love mike i don't think he could ever understand me, cuz he hasn't been here from the begining like you have.

[lost_and_found3]

but i guess in a way i've gone back to old ways. i quit cutting for a while, but here i go again. it's always on my mind now, and that's all i wanna do, is be drunk, and cut. i hate it.

[graves_13]

lol ashley you dork as long as i am alive you will never be alone. i could be half way across the world and you would still not be alone. your right he hasn't been there from the beginning and he will never know you like i do and he will never feel for you like i have. ash it will be me and you 'till the very end. until we are so old that we can't even remember eachothers names it will allways be me and you forever.

[lost_and_found3]

ha ha you're funny. i know you're gonna be here forever, but sometimes you can't help but feel alone. you know that. but anyways i have something really important to tell you so call me or im me cuz i don't wanna tell you on here cuz i wanna talk to you. k? luv ya.

[graves_13]

lol yah i know how you feel i have been like that alot here.Great worry the fuck out of me cosidering the last comment you just left.