spider story
when i first moved in to this apartment, mostly because of the location of the cable jack, i set my computer up in the corner near the window. there is a shelf beneath the window, built into the wall, and i put out some knicknacks n personally significant objects along it.
i can’t remember when exactly .. sometime after my return in april ..
a spider got in to my apartment and set himself up there under the window. he built his web around and between a framed photo of my dad n me, he in his wings jersey and i in the then-borrowed McLean canucks jersey; a framed 3-inch by 5 print of the Mona Lisa; a statuette of JC which stands perhaps 3 inches tall; and a statue of the young Buddha sitting in meditation on a lotus, perhaps five inches tall. heh i had to admire the spider’s .. irreverence .. or good taste .. ?
at first i tried to blow on him and make sudden movements in the hope he’d flee and not come back, but he didn’t, he stuck around instead. in time i just let him be ~ he stayed to himself, didn’t stray too far from his web .. in fact ~ one day a bigger spider got in and the two were standing off .. i captured the bigger one and took him outside, let him go down the block and across the street.
at first i thought spiders had short life spans, like houseflies. he’d disappear for a few days, and i would be surprised when he returned. that played itself out a few times. in the end i got used to him being there, i didn’t jump when i saw him or get all creeped out .. i was at times almost glad to see him. i’m not sure what species of spider he was .. black and not very big around, his leg span a diameter of maybe half an inch .. ? his web was more of a tangle than an orb, and he would hang upside down in it ..
heh and no, i did not give him a name ..
this past sunday, december 2nd .. i was at the computer and noticed a spider up the wall and around the corner from the web. it looked bigger than my guest .. its two lead legs were longer than all the others, constantly moving, almost like antennæ. without a second thought i got up and went to the kitchen and got a glass, grabbing my writing tablet on the way back. i moved the chair out of the way first .. and put the glass over him on the wall, containing him.
he ran around looking for an opening, heading deeper into the glass, away from the lip. i tipped it further upside down as i brought the tablet up and pulled away from the wall. in the moment of transfer, the spider fairly leaped for the opening. as i brought the glass down, two of his legs were suddenly in the way ~ with a horribly sickening crunch, they were crushed and then torn from his body, and he fell back, obviously suffering, all squirming and writhing around. in that frozen moment, my heart sank, my jaw dropped ..
so instead of taking him outside, i took him to the washroom and dropped him into the toilet. he hit the water and started squirming even more. my heart rate was high and my hands were shaking as i flipped the lever and flushed him down. my hands are still shaking even as i type this in recollection. i flushed again, and again ..
with a sense of dread i went back over and looked around, and my usual spider was nowhere to be found .. and i sat down. i hadn’t seen him out of his web in such a long time, i guess i didn’t recognise him .. never noticed those two lead legs ..
.. after all that, that it should end like that .. *hangs head* literally months of safe harbour and relatively peaceful co-existence, and then one day, just .. poof ..
it’s been weighin on my mind since, and when i think about it i still cringe, i feel .. what .. a quiet remorse? a subtle dread? if i knew it was him i would have left him alone .. instead i killed him. i’ve mentioned my unease about it to others and they have shook their heads at me ..
i can’t remember when exactly .. sometime after my return in april ..
a spider got in to my apartment and set himself up there under the window. he built his web around and between a framed photo of my dad n me, he in his wings jersey and i in the then-borrowed McLean canucks jersey; a framed 3-inch by 5 print of the Mona Lisa; a statuette of JC which stands perhaps 3 inches tall; and a statue of the young Buddha sitting in meditation on a lotus, perhaps five inches tall. heh i had to admire the spider’s .. irreverence .. or good taste .. ?
at first i tried to blow on him and make sudden movements in the hope he’d flee and not come back, but he didn’t, he stuck around instead. in time i just let him be ~ he stayed to himself, didn’t stray too far from his web .. in fact ~ one day a bigger spider got in and the two were standing off .. i captured the bigger one and took him outside, let him go down the block and across the street.
at first i thought spiders had short life spans, like houseflies. he’d disappear for a few days, and i would be surprised when he returned. that played itself out a few times. in the end i got used to him being there, i didn’t jump when i saw him or get all creeped out .. i was at times almost glad to see him. i’m not sure what species of spider he was .. black and not very big around, his leg span a diameter of maybe half an inch .. ? his web was more of a tangle than an orb, and he would hang upside down in it ..
heh and no, i did not give him a name ..
this past sunday, december 2nd .. i was at the computer and noticed a spider up the wall and around the corner from the web. it looked bigger than my guest .. its two lead legs were longer than all the others, constantly moving, almost like antennæ. without a second thought i got up and went to the kitchen and got a glass, grabbing my writing tablet on the way back. i moved the chair out of the way first .. and put the glass over him on the wall, containing him.
he ran around looking for an opening, heading deeper into the glass, away from the lip. i tipped it further upside down as i brought the tablet up and pulled away from the wall. in the moment of transfer, the spider fairly leaped for the opening. as i brought the glass down, two of his legs were suddenly in the way ~ with a horribly sickening crunch, they were crushed and then torn from his body, and he fell back, obviously suffering, all squirming and writhing around. in that frozen moment, my heart sank, my jaw dropped ..
so instead of taking him outside, i took him to the washroom and dropped him into the toilet. he hit the water and started squirming even more. my heart rate was high and my hands were shaking as i flipped the lever and flushed him down. my hands are still shaking even as i type this in recollection. i flushed again, and again ..
with a sense of dread i went back over and looked around, and my usual spider was nowhere to be found .. and i sat down. i hadn’t seen him out of his web in such a long time, i guess i didn’t recognise him .. never noticed those two lead legs ..
.. after all that, that it should end like that .. *hangs head* literally months of safe harbour and relatively peaceful co-existence, and then one day, just .. poof ..
it’s been weighin on my mind since, and when i think about it i still cringe, i feel .. what .. a quiet remorse? a subtle dread? if i knew it was him i would have left him alone .. instead i killed him. i’ve mentioned my unease about it to others and they have shook their heads at me ..