A nice, quite weekend for two…one can hope…

[magick_goddess]

No matter what I did or how hard I tried I always dreamt of my mother around the time of her death, I always replay it in my head and try to think of how or why or some way I could have changed it, made it better. Took her pain away.

And selfishly mine.

"Tara, baby, we're here."I heard a voice pull me out of my sleep and I smiled as I opened my

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[theurbancowboy]

I smiled at Tara's excitement but was noticing how much smaller the cabin was than it had been described.

I took the time to walk around, finding the kitchen, bathroom, dinning room, the hot tub out on the deck, the living room.

There were no bedrooms on the ground floor. I walked over to Tara, gave her a kiss on the cheek and took the bags from her before she could protest. It was like a short war we were having, and I knew I'd win.

I headed up the stairs to find our rooms. Figuring I'd allow Tara to take the master bedroom, but when I set foot on the second floor only one door was in view.

I felt my stomach tighten. I opened the door to find a lavishly decorated master bedroom with matching bath. It was beautiful, that was plain enough but still. There was only one room.

I set the bags down on the floor and walked over to the bed and sat down, i looked through the side table looking for a publication of the resorts numbers. AS much as I might want to share a room with Tara, that was not the intention of this weekend.

I looked up as she walked into the room.

[magick_goddess]

This place was beautiful, I don't think I could have dreamed up anything more breathtaking. The view from the front window was enough for me to never leave.

I followed a few moments later up the stairs, furrowing my brow when I only saw one door. "Hmmm." Walking in I saw Lindsey sitting on the bed, looking not to pleased with something. "What's wrong?"

I looked around the room and it was like the rest of the cabin, I started to notice some things. There were things that you would only see in like a honeymoon sweet or a lovers hide away.

Feeling a knot in my throat I looked into the bathroom. "D-do the bedrooms connect this way?" Please say yes...please don't let this feeling in the pit of my stomach be true...

[theurbancowboy]

I watched Tara come in the room with a bright look. I sighed. This wasn't good. What would she think?

I picked up the phone and dialed the manager's number.

"D-do the bedrooms connect this way?"

I shook my head and started to talk but the manager answered the phone before I could say anything.

"Hello, this is Lindsey McDonald, I just checked in about ten minutes ago. I'm having a problem with the cabin." I was trying to be as polite as possible but I was tense.

"Yes? What's wrong with it." The woman asked carefully.

"It's not the cabin I requested. I expresly asked for a two bedroom cabin. This is not a two bedroom cabin." I looked at Tara and her face seemed to become less tense.

"Mr. McDonald our records show your girlfriend called and changed the cabin reservation."

"Girlfriend? What?" I asked.

"Yes, just two days ago the reservation was changed. She faxed over the specific requirements you two wanted. We checked it out, the stationary was exactly the same as the letter you sent."

I growled. Lilah! that bitch.

"Yes well I didn't request this cabin." Usually I was better at handling these kinds of things, but my anger was making me stupid.

"We have your signature Mr. McDonald." She insisted.

"My signature? Can I please just change the reservation?" I asked in a frustrated tone.

"I'm sorry Mr. McDonald but we are entirely booked for the weekend."

I wanted to scream at this woman that she must get me another cabin. But it wasn't her fault and getting angry with her was not going to do anyone any good. I'd make Lilah pay for this, that was for sure.

"Thank you for your time." I replied.

"Let us know if you need anything else Mr. McDonald." The woman quickly hung up the phone.

I placed the reciever down.

"Tara, I've got some bad news, but I'm sure we can rectify the situation easily."

[magick_goddess]

I made my way around the room, looking at various things as Lindsey talked on the phone. I felt my stomach turn a few times and I had to sit down at the vanity.

"Tara, I've got some bad news, but I'm sure we can rectify the situation easily."

I looked over at him and I did everything I could to put this ill feeling aside. "W-what news Lindsey? T-that I didn't come running up the stairs and let you ha-have your way with me...like you obviously planned?" Everything hurt inside and I was seconds away from crying, but I wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of it. "Is that it? You set this entire thing up, including the 'oops' phonecall..."

[theurbancowboy]

I looked at her and I could tell she was angry. Shit, what did I do?

"W-what news Lindsey? T-that I didn't come running up the stairs and let you ha-have your way with me...like you obviously planned?"

I opened my mouth to interrupt her but she kept going.

"Is that it? You set this entire thing up, including the 'oops' phonecall..."

I took a deep breath.

"Are you finished?" She glared at me but nodded.

"I didn't set anything up Tara. I promise. It had to have been Lilah, she's been on my back lately at work and she likes making my life complicated. And ..."

I growled as my cell phone rang shrilly. I looked down and Lilah's number flashed at me menacingly.

"I have to take this, I'm sorry." I moved towards the door and made my way downstairs.

"What do you want?" I asked angrilly as soon as I picked up the phone.

"Did you like my surprise? I figured you'd enjoy more fun if you didn't act like a saint with what ever woman you took with you this time." Her voice was drowning in malice.

"I'm no saint, you know that." If I was going to get Lilah to leave me the hell alone and not I don't know actually try to find out who I was with I'd have to play into her ideal's of who I was.

"The one bedroom thing is priceless, I marvel at your creativity."

"Come on Lindsey, you know there's only one thing on your mind, I'm surprised you spent this much money for a one nighter, it's not like you." She was amused, fuck her.

"You know as well as I do the game is almost as fun as the prize." I felt sick to my stomach even implying that this was what it was with Tara.

I hated Lilah more than any other person in the world. Except maybe Angel or my father.

"I do know. Goodbye Lindsey enjoy your weekend." She laughed.

"You've definately made sure I'll enjoy it, how can I ever thankyou Lilah?" I muttered sarcastically.

I hung up the phone and turned to head back upstairs. Tara was standing at the top of them looking like I'd killed her cat.

Shit.

"Tara I can explain ..."

[magick_goddess]

"I'm no saint, you know that....The one bedroom thing is priceless, I marvel at your creativity....You know as well as I do the game is almost as fun as the prize....You've definately made sure I'll enjoy it, how can I ever thankyou Lilah?"

Everytime he spoke cut through me until I felt like I was a three inch candy machine prize. I didn't know if I was more angry or hurt or if I was angry at myself for believing he could be anything but the jerk that I'd met at Caratas that night.

"Tara I can explain ..."

I shook my head and started backing away till I was against the wall, shaking my head and desperatly trying not to cry. "No, I d-don't want any more of your lies. T-take me home. I want to leave. Now..." Inspite of myself my voice broke. "H-how...how Lindsey? Is this all it was? A game to you? Some twisted game to see how fast you could get into my pants? Are you going to steal my underwear and show them off at the office next too?"

He moved towards me but I held my hands out. "Thank you, I'll never forget this weekend. J-just when I thought...you're just like her. S-she treated me like a trophy, like I was some prize...I thought you were better then that..."

[theurbancowboy]

She was freaking out. I was such a fucking dumbass.

"No, I d-don't want any more of your lies. T-take me home. I want to leave. Now..."

Shit. I couldn't let Lilah do this to me, I couldn't let that place ruin something potentially amazing in my life.

"H-how...how Lindsey? Is this all it was? A game to you? Some twisted game to see how fast you could get into my pants? Are you going to steal my underwear and show them off at the office next too?"

I shook my head, I didn't know what to say, I was to afraid I would make it that much worse. I'm an idiot that was simple enough. I moved towards her, in attempt to comfort her, even though I knew she didn't want comfort from me.

"Thank you, I'll never forget this weekend. J-just when I thought...you're just like her. S-she treated me like a trophy, like I was some prize...I thought you were better then that..."

I held my hands had my sides clenching my fists, I wasn't angry at her, I was angry at myself.

"It's not like that Tara. I swear to you that I didn't plan anything, I wanted to spend time with you away from that godawful city. Lilah must have figured it out, she changed my reservations. I was not planning on seducing you or anything like that."

God I sounded stupid.

"You aren't a trophy. I would never ... God ... Lilah, I could just ..."

[magick_goddess]

I shook my head, swallowing hard, past the point of caring if I cried or not because at this point I was. "I don't want to hear it Lindsey. My first instinct about you was right. You're a rattlesnake. But I'll be damned if I'm letting you bite me..."

I went to move but he wouldn't let me, he stood in my way and I looked up at him. "Yes, blame Lilah, go and blame someone else that isn't here. You're blameless Lindsey, pure and white." I spat my words at him, my heart was actually hurting. I did think he was better then this, I didn't think once that he was actually sneaky enough to do this.

If he thought I'd fall for it then he really must think I'm stupid.

He was inches from me and I looked up at him. "Take me home...I-I don't want to be here with you...I don't ever want to be anywhere near you...ever...Mr. McDonald."

[theurbancowboy]

"I don't want to hear it Lindsey. My first instinct about you was right. You're a rattlesnake. But I'll be damned if I'm letting you bite me..."

Now that stung, more than I wanted to admit. I knew I hadn't given her any reason to trust me after what she'd just overhear but she had to listen to me.

Yes, blame Lilah, go and blame someone else that isn't here. You're blameless Lindsey, pure and white."

I growled in frustration.

"I never said I was blameless Tara, I said Lilah changed my reservation and that's the truth."

She tried to move again but I blocked her, she had to stop freaking out and actually listen to me.

"Take me home...I-I don't want to be here with you...I don't ever want to be anywhere near you...ever...Mr. McDonald."

Mr. McDonald? Her tone of voice, everything. It made me feel like I was my father. I was not him, and I refused to ever become him.

I met her eyes, pleaded with her to see reason.

"Tara, I'm sorry. I let Lilah get to me, I was just trying to get her to leave me alone. I played into her and I shouldn't have, I'm sorry. I'm not that guy, not anymore. Please, just let me make it up to you. I'll sleep on the damn deck if you want me to, just don't throw this away, not because of Lilah or my stupidity."

She was glaring at me still.

"Please ..." I pleaded.

[magick_goddess]

He kept moving towards me and I felt my defenses go up. We were here, alone, nobody knew where I was, he was much stronger then me and....

No...

Swallowing hard I looked around for a way out, some way to get away from him, but he kept standing over me. "Your lawyer charm isn't going to work on me. We're not in court. You've lost your case with me."

I put my hands on his chest to make my way past him but he wouldn't let me, he was determined for me to buy his lies. Swallowing hard and knowing that I'll regret it later, I bought my knee up sharply and watched as he doubled over.

Taking my eyes away from him I ran into the bedroom, shutting and locking the door behind me. I managed to push the desk in front of the door before I really started to cry uncontrolably.

How could I have been so wrong?

[theurbancowboy]

Her eyes and body movements let me in that she was panicking. She really thought I would hurt her? She thought I could stand to even imagine someone hurting her?

"Your lawyer charm isn't going to work on me. We're not in court. You've lost your case with me."

I wanted to scream.

"Tara this isn't a case, that ..."

Before I knew what was happening her knee had connected with my crotch and I was doubled over in pain.

She ran to the bedroom and locked the door.

I tried to keep myself from howling in pain as I got my wits about. I walked over to the door and knocked lightly. I wasn't going to pound or attempt to break in. She obviously felt threatened already and it hurt me, but i wasn't going to allow that to continue by making it worse.

"Tara I'm sorry." I said through the door.

I leaned against the wall.

"I would never assume ... I'm an idiot, I want to not care about what Lilah thinks but I'm in a dog eat dog place, and that's not an excuse, I just wanted her to leave me alone. Let me have some peace at once."

I slid down the wall.

"You are the only person I've ever met in my life that makes me forget reason, makes everything else not seem to matter so much. I wouldn't ruin that if they threatened to kill me."

I sighed and stood up.

"But since you want to go I won't force you. I'll go make the arrangements for us to leave."

I turned to head downstairs.

"I am sorry. That's all I can really say."

And then I made my way downstairs to the phone.

[magick_goddess]

I leaned against the door, at this point I couldn't stop sobbing. I wanted so badly to think that he was a good person, a good man. Even after everything I found out. I thought we could just be us and let everything else fall away.

I guess that only happens in fairytales. I sniffled a few times and stayed quiet as he talked.

"Tara I'm sorry....I would never assume ... I'm an idiot, I want to not care about what Lilah thinks but I'm in a dog eat dog place, and that's not an excuse, I just wanted her to leave me alone. Let me have some peace at once....You are the only person I've ever met in my life that makes me forget reason, makes everything else not seem to matter so much. I wouldn't ruin that if they threatened to kill me....But since you want to go I won't force you. I'll go make the arrangements for us to leave...I am sorry. That's all I can really say."

I felt the tears run down my cheeks as he spoke, he sounded almost broken and for an instant I wanted to believe him. I wanted to go out there and say I was sorry and for us to enjoy this place and tell him that we could split the bed and just put pillows between us or something.

But this feeling in my gut wouldn't go away and that kept me from opening the door. But it didn't stop me from crying any more.