i never thought i'd complain about having to eat...
i'm about ready to keel over from the amount of food i have to eat. when i saw the dietician last week, i didn't update because i didn't think i needed to but now i'm so SICK OF FOOD i just have to vent. basically, the diet they outlined for me at the endocrinologist's office wasn't high enough in calories or protein for a person of my size and pregnant with twins. so she added two more meals. that's right friends, i'm eating EIGHT FULL SIZE MEALS DAILY!!!!!!!
now, a diabetic meal isn't as large as the meals i used to eat but i still find myself uncomfortably full all day long from stuffing myself with protein. she said i need to eat 6 grams of protein per meal AT LEAST or else i risk breaking down my own fat instead which can lead to developmental delays in children - not to mention, mess up my own liver and kidneys. so i've been force feeding myself and i'm already fucking tired of it.
i love food. i live for food. and now, i find myself dreading every two hours when i have to shove more down my throat. i never thought i'd see the day that i hated food. and what's worse, i can't even eat food i WANT! all i crave is ramen noodles and they're so high in carbs, i probably shouldn't even smell them. no more normal ice cream. no more bowls of pasta and rice. no more bowls of PEAS for goodness sake!!!! i can't bake, which might be the worst part. all i want to do is make cookies or cupcakes or banana bread or drink some fucking egg nog or do SOMETHING to remind myself that it's DECEMBER and it's time to do winter things. oh yeah, and no latkes this year. i can have one, MAYBE.
i know it will be worth it when i have two healthy babies in a little more than a month or two but i've never been so upset about food in my entire life. i feel like someone took away the sun. my list of things to eat when the babies are born is getting longer by the day.
now, a diabetic meal isn't as large as the meals i used to eat but i still find myself uncomfortably full all day long from stuffing myself with protein. she said i need to eat 6 grams of protein per meal AT LEAST or else i risk breaking down my own fat instead which can lead to developmental delays in children - not to mention, mess up my own liver and kidneys. so i've been force feeding myself and i'm already fucking tired of it.
i love food. i live for food. and now, i find myself dreading every two hours when i have to shove more down my throat. i never thought i'd see the day that i hated food. and what's worse, i can't even eat food i WANT! all i crave is ramen noodles and they're so high in carbs, i probably shouldn't even smell them. no more normal ice cream. no more bowls of pasta and rice. no more bowls of PEAS for goodness sake!!!! i can't bake, which might be the worst part. all i want to do is make cookies or cupcakes or banana bread or drink some fucking egg nog or do SOMETHING to remind myself that it's DECEMBER and it's time to do winter things. oh yeah, and no latkes this year. i can have one, MAYBE.
i know it will be worth it when i have two healthy babies in a little more than a month or two but i've never been so upset about food in my entire life. i feel like someone took away the sun. my list of things to eat when the babies are born is getting longer by the day.