we're dying in vain
So Im going to update. I know I KNOW CHUCK UPDATING TWO DAYS IN A ROW, with more than a little song. BAM!
Yeah.
Really, the song spells it out. We are all to blame.
Ok so lately I've been greatly stressed. Shit coming at me from all angles. Stresses of money, job, family, friends, and girls. Im thinking I may go back on my statement of "not looking, but not against exploring". I may not even care to be involved with a girl right now. Im not sure. I know one chick I wouldn't mind talking to more, and hanging out with. Im not gonna focus on it though. I simply can't.
So in about 26 hours the "wake" or whatever you call it is on. Visitation is more modern of a term I guess. I already know how it will go. I'll get there, and a lot of relatives will be there I don't wanna talk to. Friends of the family, not my friends. Over the years, Im really surprised that a lot of my friends have never came to funerals in my family. Whatever.
I got to work at 1 so I can get some work in before I leave for the Visitation. Leann and Bob are by far the worst supervising duo I've worked with. They suck. But the job is good.
It's moments like these, when I lose a person I love, when my family makes me feel bad for dredding be around them. They are the only ones there to offer support. I mean, Ashley listened to me talk about it the other night, but it's like I still feel distance there. I already know Nick won't come to the visitation, even if I told him about it, I think He'd be too busy. I guess thats cool, Im conflicted in whether or not I should be hurt by NONE of my, just my friends not family friends, coming to the visitation at least. I mean the funeral is one thing, but the visitation IS for friends and shit like that.
I've been in a slightly "bad" mood towards anyone other than a few people. Tonight I was talking to Ash, Sarah, and Meredith at the same time. You could definately tell a difference in my tone. Ash I was talkin normally, and tiredish. Not too talkative, but not angry or anything. Sarah asked if I was upset with her. Im not, I just think its dumb the way she flipflopped on me. I was actually talking to Meredith. Mainly because we are kinda in the same groove. Down, and kinda pissed about the world around us. I guess anyway. Meredith you rule. It's just nice to have friends who feel like you. Is it wrong to want to live in the world of South Park. Shit, that would rule. I'd be fucking happy EVERY day. Sure it's an exaggeration of our world, with some impossible happenings, but its funny, has a point, and is completely relevant. Unlike this world. The crusade against gays. COME ON!. Doesn't Jesus talk MORE about the poor than gays. I think Christ said "help the poor, feed the hungry, HELP THE POOR,..coughgaysaresinnerscough HELP THE FUCKING POOR" Seriously that is how the "words of God" come off to me. Christ cares more about the people dying from starvation than two dudes railing eachother.
People might mistake me for being MAD at them, or angry in general. I just dont give a shit right now. Ive got way too much to worry about to throw your shit on the pile too. I DONT CARE. Simple. It doesnt mean I wont listen, or that I dont care about YOU. I just dont care if you love sheep, I dont care if you won the lottery, I dont care if you got your new bf/gf to say I love you, and I dont care if you did that one thing at that one place. I mean, if a friend has a problem, I care, but not if its like "I farted, and it smells" If its a SERIOUS problem, Im open to listen. Im not open to listen to how great your life is. Im also not open to spilling my guts to you just for shits and giggles. Im so tired of everybody wondering "whats up with you?" I mean, Im tired of people wanting to know what Im thinking. If you want to know what Im thinking, TRADE PLACES WITH GOD AND READ MY MIND. Otherwise, just talk to me like a person, not a psychologist.
Ive also noticed that my thoughts about people seem to be more true than not. I seem to be real good at picking out things in people that are more real than they'd like you to know. I guess I can see through the fakeness. Weird.
Man, this is long. Nate, you slut why can't I comment on your journal.
mmmmm Jimmy Eat World. I've been in a real Hip Hop mood. Lil Jon, YEAH, Ludacris, and Trick Daddy LETS GO have been constantly playing in my ear. I just feel a lot of my aggression flowing out through it.
Ok, Im gonna go fantasize that Kelly Clarkson and I are making out. Man, that chick is HOT. Im gonna download that "Since You Been Gone" song right now. The video is AWESOME. So are her boobs.
I'm out like Clay Aiken. Did that dude admit he is a homosexual yet? Im not gay, but even I know get a reading on my Gaydar over that dude. COME ON! It's clear, jsut admit it to the world, and feel better about it. It's ok, remember "Will and Grace" taught us to love the crazy homos. As long as they are funny. *sarcasm*
"get back get back you don't know me like that"
Yeah.
Really, the song spells it out. We are all to blame.
Ok so lately I've been greatly stressed. Shit coming at me from all angles. Stresses of money, job, family, friends, and girls. Im thinking I may go back on my statement of "not looking, but not against exploring". I may not even care to be involved with a girl right now. Im not sure. I know one chick I wouldn't mind talking to more, and hanging out with. Im not gonna focus on it though. I simply can't.
So in about 26 hours the "wake" or whatever you call it is on. Visitation is more modern of a term I guess. I already know how it will go. I'll get there, and a lot of relatives will be there I don't wanna talk to. Friends of the family, not my friends. Over the years, Im really surprised that a lot of my friends have never came to funerals in my family. Whatever.
I got to work at 1 so I can get some work in before I leave for the Visitation. Leann and Bob are by far the worst supervising duo I've worked with. They suck. But the job is good.
It's moments like these, when I lose a person I love, when my family makes me feel bad for dredding be around them. They are the only ones there to offer support. I mean, Ashley listened to me talk about it the other night, but it's like I still feel distance there. I already know Nick won't come to the visitation, even if I told him about it, I think He'd be too busy. I guess thats cool, Im conflicted in whether or not I should be hurt by NONE of my, just my friends not family friends, coming to the visitation at least. I mean the funeral is one thing, but the visitation IS for friends and shit like that.
I've been in a slightly "bad" mood towards anyone other than a few people. Tonight I was talking to Ash, Sarah, and Meredith at the same time. You could definately tell a difference in my tone. Ash I was talkin normally, and tiredish. Not too talkative, but not angry or anything. Sarah asked if I was upset with her. Im not, I just think its dumb the way she flipflopped on me. I was actually talking to Meredith. Mainly because we are kinda in the same groove. Down, and kinda pissed about the world around us. I guess anyway. Meredith you rule. It's just nice to have friends who feel like you. Is it wrong to want to live in the world of South Park. Shit, that would rule. I'd be fucking happy EVERY day. Sure it's an exaggeration of our world, with some impossible happenings, but its funny, has a point, and is completely relevant. Unlike this world. The crusade against gays. COME ON!. Doesn't Jesus talk MORE about the poor than gays. I think Christ said "help the poor, feed the hungry, HELP THE POOR,..coughgaysaresinnerscough HELP THE FUCKING POOR" Seriously that is how the "words of God" come off to me. Christ cares more about the people dying from starvation than two dudes railing eachother.
People might mistake me for being MAD at them, or angry in general. I just dont give a shit right now. Ive got way too much to worry about to throw your shit on the pile too. I DONT CARE. Simple. It doesnt mean I wont listen, or that I dont care about YOU. I just dont care if you love sheep, I dont care if you won the lottery, I dont care if you got your new bf/gf to say I love you, and I dont care if you did that one thing at that one place. I mean, if a friend has a problem, I care, but not if its like "I farted, and it smells" If its a SERIOUS problem, Im open to listen. Im not open to listen to how great your life is. Im also not open to spilling my guts to you just for shits and giggles. Im so tired of everybody wondering "whats up with you?" I mean, Im tired of people wanting to know what Im thinking. If you want to know what Im thinking, TRADE PLACES WITH GOD AND READ MY MIND. Otherwise, just talk to me like a person, not a psychologist.
Ive also noticed that my thoughts about people seem to be more true than not. I seem to be real good at picking out things in people that are more real than they'd like you to know. I guess I can see through the fakeness. Weird.
Man, this is long. Nate, you slut why can't I comment on your journal.
mmmmm Jimmy Eat World. I've been in a real Hip Hop mood. Lil Jon, YEAH, Ludacris, and Trick Daddy LETS GO have been constantly playing in my ear. I just feel a lot of my aggression flowing out through it.
Ok, Im gonna go fantasize that Kelly Clarkson and I are making out. Man, that chick is HOT. Im gonna download that "Since You Been Gone" song right now. The video is AWESOME. So are her boobs.
I'm out like Clay Aiken. Did that dude admit he is a homosexual yet? Im not gay, but even I know get a reading on my Gaydar over that dude. COME ON! It's clear, jsut admit it to the world, and feel better about it. It's ok, remember "Will and Grace" taught us to love the crazy homos. As long as they are funny. *sarcasm*
"get back get back you don't know me like that"