Sad
Today was not a good day at all.
Brie and I broke up. I didn't want to, particularly, but I felt it made sense for a lot of reasons - and she certainly didn't seem to have a huge problem with it.
So now I'm alone. And it doesn't feel that different. It feels odd to know that I'm not going to have anyone left to care about me that I can see... and that I'm not going to have anything or anyone to look forward to each week, or at all, anymore. I'm trying not to be too depressed about it, though.
Part of me is hoping that maybe in the future, we'll be able to work things out, and get back together. But the other part of me is saying that not only will that never happen, that I should be counting the days until I hear Brie has moved on.
Something interesting to note - this entire relationship took the same twists and turns that my relationship with Amie did near the end - exactly the same steps towards the breakup. Very interesting. Am I doomed to cycles here?
Other than that, the day in general was just a bummer. I bought a digital camera though - got my tax return as well, so I won't even be in debt for it by tomorrow. Was one of the shittier days in recent memory though - if Steven hadn't been closing with me I probably would have spazzed out. I get to close with Krystal, the new girl for the next couple of days, and blah blah blah blah I don't actually have any reason to say any of this other than to read it myself.
I'm even lonelier now than ever, and I've felt very alone for a long time. I'm trying not to be a wuss about this - break-ups happen - but we did just go through our Anniversary. I guess something clicked - "Jeez, I've been with this guy for a year? Time to end it."
This only serves to reinforce every insecurity I have about myself. Thanks, life.
Brie and I broke up. I didn't want to, particularly, but I felt it made sense for a lot of reasons - and she certainly didn't seem to have a huge problem with it.
So now I'm alone. And it doesn't feel that different. It feels odd to know that I'm not going to have anyone left to care about me that I can see... and that I'm not going to have anything or anyone to look forward to each week, or at all, anymore. I'm trying not to be too depressed about it, though.
Part of me is hoping that maybe in the future, we'll be able to work things out, and get back together. But the other part of me is saying that not only will that never happen, that I should be counting the days until I hear Brie has moved on.
Something interesting to note - this entire relationship took the same twists and turns that my relationship with Amie did near the end - exactly the same steps towards the breakup. Very interesting. Am I doomed to cycles here?
Other than that, the day in general was just a bummer. I bought a digital camera though - got my tax return as well, so I won't even be in debt for it by tomorrow. Was one of the shittier days in recent memory though - if Steven hadn't been closing with me I probably would have spazzed out. I get to close with Krystal, the new girl for the next couple of days, and blah blah blah blah I don't actually have any reason to say any of this other than to read it myself.
I'm even lonelier now than ever, and I've felt very alone for a long time. I'm trying not to be a wuss about this - break-ups happen - but we did just go through our Anniversary. I guess something clicked - "Jeez, I've been with this guy for a year? Time to end it."
This only serves to reinforce every insecurity I have about myself. Thanks, life.