Fic: Brush With Insanity (Part 4)
Title: Brush With Insanity
Author: gradgirl (aka Ali)
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Sometimes Reid liked to attribute his attraction to Luke as a brush with insanity. But it lasted too long and it felt more deeper than simple physical desire.
Author’s Notes: Takes place a month in the future. Based upon all the episodes up until now, and haven’t included anything from the spoilers (that I know). Basically a really, really long one-shot. Broken into four-parts. Unbeta’d all mistakes are mine. Feedback or constructive criticism is always appreciated. Thank you for stopping by and reading. ~Ali
{ Part 1} { Part 2} { Part 3}
A week later…
Luke found himself standing outside of Katie’s front door again. He’d been here a dozen times before, mostly in the last week. Every time he came here, he’d find himself standing at this door, desperate to knock and tell Reid he was ready, but every time he’d hesitate and second-guess himself. Reid had told him to be sure, that he didn’t want to Luke to change his mind or run away. Luke wanted to be certain: for both of them. Even after leaving Noah, Luke didn’t think he was ready to be with Reid. He wanted the doctor, he’d wanted him for a long time, but it would be more than just sex for Luke, and part of his hesitancy was he didn’t know what Reid wanted-he’d hoped and suspected, but if he wanted answers, then he’d have to talk to Reid. More than that, Luke was ready now, ready for whatever future he could have with the brilliant doctor.
Taking a breath for courage, Luke knocked on the door.
He tried to smile when Reid opened the door, but feeling his stomach tighten in nervousness, made Luke grimace instead. “Hi,” he greeted the other man.
“Hello.”
He cleared his throat. “Are you busy? Hospital emergency or…a date?”
Reid looked at Luke for a moment, trying to figure out what the young man was up to. “Neither,” he said, crossing his arms over his chest. “Quiet night at home. I shouldn’t say that too loudly, though, I’ll get paged for sure. Katie is off matchmaking or trying to keep Hank out of jail. I can’t keep track.”
A smile tugged at Luke’s lips. “Pizza and a game?” he offered, digging his hands into his pockets.
“If you’ll tell me why you’re here. I haven’t seen you in a week, and I don’t appreciate getting calls from your assistant about the project.”
Luke shifted his weight from one foot to the other. “Yeah, I feel awkward having one, but my grandmother insisted I hire Kelly for appearances with the board and any potential donors. Mostly I help pay her daughter’s tuition and she makes the occasional phone call.”
Reid shook his head. “You can’t save everyone, Luke.”
“Yeah, but you can’t make me stop trying, either.” He offered with a cheeky grin. He hoped to get smile out of the doctor, as well, maybe it would make everything so much easier.
But Reid didn’t appear to be affected. “You still haven’t told me what you’re doing here,” the redhead stated. He wasn’t going to be swayed. He’d basically told Luke everything he wanted and instead of getting a response, he had radio silence for a week. Reid wasn’t sure what Luke expected now, but his silence had said it all.
“After our talk last week, I went to see Noah.” Luke didn’t want to have this conversation in Katie’s doorway, but he would if he had to, if Reid would finally hear him.
“So you renewed your love and have been in reunited bliss?” he queried, turning around and walking further into the living room. He heard the door close behind him and Reid turned back to the young man. “Pizza’s supposed to soften the blow?”
“No.”
“Well, I would hope not. I’m not cheap, Mr. Snyder.” Reid hoped by calling Luke “Mr. Snyder” again, it would get the young man to leave. The last thing he wanted was to hear about Luke and Noah’s love life.
“No, I mean…” There was that shy smile again and Reid hated that it made his heart lurch and his skin burn with desire. “I know you can’t be bought, and Noah and I…we broke up. We haven’t spoken and he’s ignored all my calls. He probably doesn’t want anything to do with me any more.”
Reid hated that Luke would call his ex-boyfriend and avoid him, another reason for him to move on. “Why did you break up this time?” He wouldn’t allow himself to believe he had anything to do with Luke and Noah’s break-up. Besides, all his conversations with the young man would include him trying to get Luke to acknowledge his attraction and desire for Reid, only to have Luke tell him that Noah needed him and Noah was the love of his life.
“I finally figured out what would make me happy.”
“And that is?” Would this conversation be any different?
“Being with you and not feeling guilty about it.”
Reid didn’t realize he’d been holding his breath, and he wondered if maybe he hadn’t been holding his breath for a couple of months now. Sex was one thing, and he knew any kind of relationship with Luke would involve more than that. What surprised Reid, though, was that he wanted that kind of relationship, and he wanted it with Luke. “And can you be with me and not feel guilty?” he asked.
“Well, I told Noah I wanted you and I wanted to still be his friend, to help him. But he told me I couldn’t have both and I realized…” Luke slowly made his way toward Reid, his hands firmly in his pockets, because all he wanted to do was wrap his arms around Reid and not let go. But the older man deserved more than that, they both did, Reid deserved to hear everything. “I realized…I can’t even give up the idea of you.”
The doctor looked at Luke for a few moments. They were the words he wanted to hear, the words he’d been waiting for, but he wanted to be certain. “And this happened a week ago?”
“Yes,” Luke answered, feeling a little unsure.
“After you left here, you went straight to Noah and told him you want to be with me?”
“Yes, and before you ask,” Luke replied, holding up his hand, “I did drive back here after I left Noah. I didn’t want to go home, I wanted to see you.”
“Why didn’t you knock on the door or call me, tell me you were here?” His eyes narrowed in confusion.
Luke’s shoulders hunched and he shifted his weight from one foot to the other. He reminded Reid, “You told me I had to be sure.”
Reid knew that he had been right to say that, but thinking about the last week, being without Luke, all that they could have done, he felt regret that he had added that codicil to this demand. But if Luke wasn’t sure, if they had gotten close to making love again, if Reid, of all people, was going to attempt a personal relationship, then he realized he had to have Luke’s certainty. “And are you sure?”
“I am now.”
The doctor reached out, taking the younger man’s hands in his. His thumb gently rubbing across Luke’s knuckles. “Please understand that I have to check, make sure I’m understanding you correctly here. If I start kissing you…are you going to tell me to stop?”
Luke found it difficult to answer, his heartbeat increased the moment Reid touched him. “No,” he finally choked out.
Reid tugged on Luke’s hands gently, pulling the younger man closer. “If I take you to my room and start removing all of your clothing, are you going to tell me it’s a mistake?”
The young man let out a shuddering breath. “No.”
“And if I were to explore every inch of your body with my mouth, are you going to run away?”
Luke finally found his voice. “Only if I can’t return the favor.” He offered a teasing smile.
Reid found himself smiling in return. “Something to look forward to,” he answered, as he let go of Luke’s hands. He reached out, cupping Luke’s face in his hands and tugged the young man close for a kiss. He knew how quickly things could escalate between the two of them, and he didn’t want any interruptions from his roommate and her son. He’d never hear the end of it, anyway, just imagining Katie talking about the “psychological trauma.” Reid reluctantly pulled away and took Luke’s hands in his, leading him toward the bedroom.
“What about the pizza?” Luke asked.
Reid stopped and there was fear in his voice as he asked, “Did you already order it?”
“Well, no, but I thought you might be hungry after your shift.”
Thanking God for small favors, Reid shook his head and tugged on Luke’s hands again. “No, I just want you.” Seeing the shy smile on Luke’s face, he knew that he’d said the right thing.
“And Scott?” Luke asked. He had been dying to ask Reid about his date with the philanthropist since that evening.
Reid’s face scrunched in confusion. “Who?”
Luke’s shoulders slumped and he wasn’t certain if Reid was being serious or not. “The guy you were on a date with last week.”
“Oh, don’t worry. He was a little boring for me. You know how those do-gooder types can be,” he added conspiratorially.
The blonde’s eyes narrowed slightly. “Reid, I am one of those ‘do-gooder types.’”
Reid’s grip tightened slightly. “You blackmailed me in order to get me here, Luke. Besides, when I think about you…boring is the last word that would ever come to my mind.”
It was on the tip of his tongue to ask what the other words were, but Reid’s mouth descended on his for a moment, and all coherency disappeared.
Finally, Luke pulled away. “Are you sure?” he asked.
“That I want you? Yes.” Why were they still talking?
“No.” Luke smiled. “You told me I had to be certain, and I want to know you are too.”
There was still a lot to learn about the young man in front of him, but Reid knew that while they both had limited experience, if he wanted more than one night with Luke, then he had to be careful of what he said. And that was what Reid wanted, more than anything, he saw a future with Luke, and Reid had never done that before. “I have foregone personal relationships, because…well, I told myself it was for my career…to make sure I was the best.” Reid’s gaze locked on the man in front of him. “And then I met you. You drove me crazy and I wouldn’t allow myself to believe it was from anything other than how you got me to come here. But after Texas, after everything we’ve been through…I want you, Luke, I've wanted you for a while now. Are you asking if I want this to be about more than sex?”
“Do you?” Luke asked, cocking an eyebrow. “Can you have a personal relationship with me?”
“That’s the thing, Luke, it’s always been personal. I thought you were this rich, annoying trust fund brat.”
“Gee, thanks.” He smacked Reid on the shoulder with his hand.
“And you thought I was a pompous ass.”
“True,” Luke conceded with a smile. “So are telling me, you don’t want more…?”
“No.” Reid shook his head and his hand reached for Luke’s hip again, pulling him close. His gaze met Luke’s, watched as the blonde’s eyes went from hazel to a chocolate brown. “I want this, I want…I want a future with you. I don’t know how good I’ll be at this, but if you’re willing to take a risk on me, then I’m in. Are you okay with that?”
Luke shook his head, a million and one things he wanted to say, coming to the surface, but hadn’t they talked and argued enough already? “Yes.”
“Are we done talking now? Can I finally get you out of your clothes?”
He nodded his head, there was no need for words any more. Luke wanted Reid just as much as Reid wanted him. While a few months ago, Luke never expected to be in this situation, especially with this man. He thought he and Noah would be together forever, and letting go of all the dreams they’d had together was still going to take some work. But the feel of Reid’s warm palm kneading his hip, and seeing the cloudy desire in those intense blue eyes of his, Luke knew he wouldn’t regret being with Reid.
Luke’s fingers itched, wanting to be in Reid’s hair, pulling him close. Deciding to give into his desires, Luke reached up, gently massaging the doctor’s scalp. Reid’s eyes drifted shut for a moment and the younger man closed the distance between them, brushing a feather-light kiss across the redhead’s mouth. Luke gasped, when Reid’s grip tightened and his mouth covered Luke’s, swallowing the sound.
When breathing became necessary, Luke pulled away gently, his hands resting on Reid’s shoulders. “You were saying something about getting me out of these clothes?”
Reid’s smile made Luke’s heart turn over. “I need to ask you one last time…are you sure you want this?”
If Luke had any doubts, they disappeared, knowing that Reid wanted Luke to be certain and he was willing to wait if he wasn’t. “As long as you have no doubts…”
“I’ve rarely been more certain of anything else, Luke.”
Luke’s hands slid up Reid’s shoulders and he ran his fingers through the doctor’s hair a few times, and Reid smiled. His head leaned over, his nose brushing against Luke’s.
“Then there is no other place, I want to be,” Luke assured Reid as his hands came back to cup the redhead’s face, pulling back slightly. His gaze was drawn to that mouth remembering the insults and the laughter and the way it felt pressed against his own, but mostly he remembered the promise Reid gave him about that mouth. The left side of Reid’s lips slid up and Luke pulled him close again, kissing the doctor once more, before Reid led Luke to his bedroom, fulfilling his promise.
~Fin~