More idle chatter...
So, today was a little bizarre. I know I'm a bit superstitious, but when i woke up this morning, it was 66 degrees in my apartment. ok, no big deal. Then I order my cap and gown, and the total is $66.60. That's when I knew it was gonna be one of those days. (Found out later, though, that my total was actually $66.65, slightly better) Sure enough, my mind started to wander and I started to overthink. Came home, fell asleep in the floor for a couple hours -- took care of the wandering mind problem. Woke up and started cleaning up and stuff, and randomly thought, "I miss Daddy" WHAT IN THE WORLD? Why am I missing my dad? the jerk who doesn't even care about me, doesn't know if I have enough money to eat or pay my bills, refuses to pay for my brother's tuition, doesn't pay for anything at all --- WHY am I missing HIM?? And I still can't shake the feeling totally. GRRR Then, went over to Michael and Rebecca's to work on some stuff for swing. We worked on stuff for awhile, then they started getting frustrated with each other -- like, borderline screaming at each other. That was fun. I felt INCREDIBLY awkward and uncomfortable, but eventually they worked through it, though they were still pretty tense. Then, all of a sudden, their roommate started screaming (her and her finacee had been working on their wedding invitations and stuff in the back rooms). It was screaming and crying, and then a super loud scream, a hard slap, and a hard thud into the wall. I have not been that scared in I don't know how long! Me and Michael and Rebecca just looked at each other -- we didn't know what to do or who had done the slapping and the thudding. Apparently, their roommate is bipolar, so Rebecca thinks that she slapped him and threw him into the wall. Either way, I wanted to get out of there!! With the combination of all of that, I really don't want to get married now (not that I have any prospects right now anyway). It stressed me out so much being there for that fight, I can't even imagine being in a situation like that for myself. Especially after living through everything my dad put us through. Ugh, I don't know -- it's just not worth it.