a life update
well, it's been about... a year since I updated last. stop reading now if you don't want to hear me gripe about how things are not going according to plan.
I am just really dissatisfied with pretty much everything in my life right now... :/
Work: I started a job at a facility for kids with Autism in January. It depends on the day whether or not I enjoy it. I like the kids, but sometimes it's just a poorly run facility and things do not get done. There's another girl who works there who thinks she's the queen and I really can't stand it. She tells me to do something, so I do, and then she tells me how it's not what she meant and it's wrong. It's really frustrating but it was at least giving me enough money to almost make ends meet as long as I was getting enough hours at Vanity too. Vanity is frustrating - I work a few days a week (usually Wednesdays and Saturdays) and lately I've been working Sunday's too. That part really stinks, I haven't been able to be in church since Easter. Sundays are yucky to work anyway because they're 8 hours and it's usually only me until like 2 or 3 pm. Well, I got word a week or so ago, that effective June 8 I will no longer be employed at ITC (school) because there are not enough students coming there for the summer to have me employed full time, and pay me my salary (which is beans anyway). So I'm unemployed for the summer. I'm scrambling to find some stuff, and have a potential part time Nanny gig, which will give me some money, but probably not enough to live on. I'll still have Vanity but with my class schedule I won't be able to work that often.
School: Speaking of those classes - I'm enrolled in three classes this summer, one at Akron and two and Clev State since they weren't offered at Akron and I wanted to be done with this license for good. It's going to be really inconvenient to my summer and my schedule and my life in general, but hopefully it will be worth it and I might find a job for the fall. Downside though - $3500 in tuition and fees, and that doesn't include the parking pass for Cle State which is $150ish I think - yikes! I'm trying to figure out something else.
Money: I have none - the end. But seriously, my savings is rapidly depleting and I have no income to resupply it. It sucks and I don't like it. I don't like not having money to pay my bills, not having money to buy things I want/need, and not having money to go out and be with my friends.
Home: My lease is up on my apartment June 30th. I have not even begun to look for a new place and I don't even know where to start looking. I don't want to get into a situation where I'm driving 45 minutes one way to work like I was with N. Royalton this fall, but since I don't have a job lined up for the fall, it's hard to prevent that. I had an offer for a basement of friends of my parents, but I really don't want that. And my parents house is a short term option, but I really don't want that either. Everyone keeps telling me that it's ok to take help and all this, but I don't want to. I am 25 years old and I want to be a responsible adult who can take care of myself. I want a job, with my own benefits, and my own income to support myself on. It's very frustrating to me that after working my butt off for 5 years and getting TWO college degrees, and being almost finished with a third license, I can't find a full time job anywhere. I am starting to think I should just move out of Ohio and be done with it. it's so frustrating.
Friends: I feel like I have none -- I don't have time to maintain friendships, so the only people I talk to are the ones who talk to me. i see Jeff and Nick pretty regularly, and Kelly, Hannah & now that she's home probably/hopefully Abbie, but that's about it. I haven't seen Beth in idk how long because it's an hour drive and I don't have more than a few free hours at a time. it is not at ALL that i don't want to see my friends, I do, and I miss them all greatly, but it's not feasible and I know they're moving up and on without me.
Myself: I'm feeling really discouraged with my choices - i am proud of the fact that I have no regrets in life, but I am beginning to wonder if I shouldn't have chosen a different major, a different career path, and different path in general. I don't know what I'm doing or where I'm going and it's just frustrating.
so there - i'm sorry it's a mopey post and that i've got nothing positive in here. there are good things in my life, i know this, and i appreciate what i do have, but i just needed to vent.
I am just really dissatisfied with pretty much everything in my life right now... :/
Work: I started a job at a facility for kids with Autism in January. It depends on the day whether or not I enjoy it. I like the kids, but sometimes it's just a poorly run facility and things do not get done. There's another girl who works there who thinks she's the queen and I really can't stand it. She tells me to do something, so I do, and then she tells me how it's not what she meant and it's wrong. It's really frustrating but it was at least giving me enough money to almost make ends meet as long as I was getting enough hours at Vanity too. Vanity is frustrating - I work a few days a week (usually Wednesdays and Saturdays) and lately I've been working Sunday's too. That part really stinks, I haven't been able to be in church since Easter. Sundays are yucky to work anyway because they're 8 hours and it's usually only me until like 2 or 3 pm. Well, I got word a week or so ago, that effective June 8 I will no longer be employed at ITC (school) because there are not enough students coming there for the summer to have me employed full time, and pay me my salary (which is beans anyway). So I'm unemployed for the summer. I'm scrambling to find some stuff, and have a potential part time Nanny gig, which will give me some money, but probably not enough to live on. I'll still have Vanity but with my class schedule I won't be able to work that often.
School: Speaking of those classes - I'm enrolled in three classes this summer, one at Akron and two and Clev State since they weren't offered at Akron and I wanted to be done with this license for good. It's going to be really inconvenient to my summer and my schedule and my life in general, but hopefully it will be worth it and I might find a job for the fall. Downside though - $3500 in tuition and fees, and that doesn't include the parking pass for Cle State which is $150ish I think - yikes! I'm trying to figure out something else.
Money: I have none - the end. But seriously, my savings is rapidly depleting and I have no income to resupply it. It sucks and I don't like it. I don't like not having money to pay my bills, not having money to buy things I want/need, and not having money to go out and be with my friends.
Home: My lease is up on my apartment June 30th. I have not even begun to look for a new place and I don't even know where to start looking. I don't want to get into a situation where I'm driving 45 minutes one way to work like I was with N. Royalton this fall, but since I don't have a job lined up for the fall, it's hard to prevent that. I had an offer for a basement of friends of my parents, but I really don't want that. And my parents house is a short term option, but I really don't want that either. Everyone keeps telling me that it's ok to take help and all this, but I don't want to. I am 25 years old and I want to be a responsible adult who can take care of myself. I want a job, with my own benefits, and my own income to support myself on. It's very frustrating to me that after working my butt off for 5 years and getting TWO college degrees, and being almost finished with a third license, I can't find a full time job anywhere. I am starting to think I should just move out of Ohio and be done with it. it's so frustrating.
Friends: I feel like I have none -- I don't have time to maintain friendships, so the only people I talk to are the ones who talk to me. i see Jeff and Nick pretty regularly, and Kelly, Hannah & now that she's home probably/hopefully Abbie, but that's about it. I haven't seen Beth in idk how long because it's an hour drive and I don't have more than a few free hours at a time. it is not at ALL that i don't want to see my friends, I do, and I miss them all greatly, but it's not feasible and I know they're moving up and on without me.
Myself: I'm feeling really discouraged with my choices - i am proud of the fact that I have no regrets in life, but I am beginning to wonder if I shouldn't have chosen a different major, a different career path, and different path in general. I don't know what I'm doing or where I'm going and it's just frustrating.
so there - i'm sorry it's a mopey post and that i've got nothing positive in here. there are good things in my life, i know this, and i appreciate what i do have, but i just needed to vent.