weekend update
have not been around.
bogged down in my program right now. it is absolutely killing / devastating me. i am about to do an awful thing, because i have to. for my sanity.
some history: i'm a mental health counselor for a program code name "mountain view" which is a supported living program for 27 clients. these guys are cool as shit, high functioning for the most part, maintain their own apartments, and are great to us counselors.
when i started in october 2008, it was with Agency X, and it was the best job ever. plenty of counselors and upper management, staff support, good crisis plans and goals/assessments for the clients, acceptable pay, awesome benefits, close to home. pretty much all of the things i wanted.
eight months later in june 2009, MA department of mental health did some crazy shit where they put all of their state-funded contracts up for bid -- meaning that any agency in the state could bid on any program from any other agency they wanted, providing that they submitted a good plan & budget.
also, for funsies, they threw in a complete overhaul of the entire mental health treatment model. new plans, new positions, new programs, new specialists, new everything -- all to close down the state hospitals and bring treatment to a community level. which is great, in theory. but has proven to take lots and lots and lots and lots of work.
Agency X wrote a great proposal for mountain view but lost the program to Agency Y, who said they could do everything that Agency X does, but on 3/4 of the budget.
that was a fucking lie.
Agency Y SUCKS.
during that june/july 09 transition, we went from a coordinator, a supervisor, 2 overnights, 2 part-times, and 6 full-time counselors to me and kelly and two part-times.
me and kelly and two part-times have been running this 27-client program without a coordinator or any support for eight months.
one of the part-times just went on maternity leave, and the other part-time just failed her med administration re-cert. she is now essentially useless.
things have been
chaotic
to say the least.
i could go into detail regarding the INSANE INSANE SHIT that is going down here on a daily basis, and how many hours kelly and i have been working, and how Agency Y decided to stop paying me overtime pay for the overtime hours i work, BUT. the point is:
Agency X -- who originally hired me in 2008 -- just opened a new program two towns over. it's an intensive residential program for state hospital patients who are fire starters. currently 4 clients. possibly up to 6. with budget for 7 staff.
THIS IS HILARIOUS TO ME. obviously way higher intensity program, but after the shit we've been through at Agency Y, that is nothing to kelly & i. also i want to do residential direct care. have never done it before! i'm excited.
we both put in applications; she interviewed yesterday, and i am interviewing on monday. we pretty much have the positions, and we are both putting in our resignation notices to Agency Y at the same time, with a ps) GOOD LUCK AND SUCK IT at the bottom.
i am so tired / burned out / headachey / crazy that i do not care. about anything. it will be hard to tell the clients but honestly this is the nature of the beast that is MH, and they will get new counselors and they will forget about us and be fine.
i just can't sit back and continue to watch Agency Y drive our fucking awesome program into the ground. it is devastating, after all the work and pride we put into it with Agency X. i'm totally powerless here. kelly and i have BEGGED for more staff, begged for anything, begged for help, and they continue to tell us we don't need it.
I JUST WANT OUT
I CAN'T EVEN THINK ANYMORE
UGH.
so that's the main part of my story; the other bit is that i'm in business with a financial advising company for middle-income families getting screwed by credit card and mortgage companies, who've been laid off, have no retirement money, no income protection, etc AND DOING THAT HAS BEEN FUCKING AWESOME. it is shiny and new and a completely different way to be a counselor and i just love it. unfortunately it takes up a shitload of my time. i'm hoping to get into a groove there soon, too.
also i have not written a lick of my big bang in almost a month and it is stressing my shit out. eek.
i am so terrible at time management. i honestly try really hard - alarms, calendars, time grids, to-do lists. nothing works. i get mentally raped by my job from 7am-3pm, come home, curl up with my cats and watch netflix.
wahhhg
VERY IMPORTANTLY I SAW HAIR ON BROADWAY TWICE LAST WEEKEND AND IT GAVE ME ENERGY AND VITALITY AND STEAM and i love everything <3333
i miss my flist, i miss yall, i miss writing, reading, feedbacking, picspams, squees, hating on the anonmeme, loving on the love meme, etc into infinity.
am working very hard to get my shit together and get back to fandom!
bogged down in my program right now. it is absolutely killing / devastating me. i am about to do an awful thing, because i have to. for my sanity.
some history: i'm a mental health counselor for a program code name "mountain view" which is a supported living program for 27 clients. these guys are cool as shit, high functioning for the most part, maintain their own apartments, and are great to us counselors.
when i started in october 2008, it was with Agency X, and it was the best job ever. plenty of counselors and upper management, staff support, good crisis plans and goals/assessments for the clients, acceptable pay, awesome benefits, close to home. pretty much all of the things i wanted.
eight months later in june 2009, MA department of mental health did some crazy shit where they put all of their state-funded contracts up for bid -- meaning that any agency in the state could bid on any program from any other agency they wanted, providing that they submitted a good plan & budget.
also, for funsies, they threw in a complete overhaul of the entire mental health treatment model. new plans, new positions, new programs, new specialists, new everything -- all to close down the state hospitals and bring treatment to a community level. which is great, in theory. but has proven to take lots and lots and lots and lots of work.
Agency X wrote a great proposal for mountain view but lost the program to Agency Y, who said they could do everything that Agency X does, but on 3/4 of the budget.
that was a fucking lie.
Agency Y SUCKS.
during that june/july 09 transition, we went from a coordinator, a supervisor, 2 overnights, 2 part-times, and 6 full-time counselors to me and kelly and two part-times.
me and kelly and two part-times have been running this 27-client program without a coordinator or any support for eight months.
one of the part-times just went on maternity leave, and the other part-time just failed her med administration re-cert. she is now essentially useless.
things have been
chaotic
to say the least.
i could go into detail regarding the INSANE INSANE SHIT that is going down here on a daily basis, and how many hours kelly and i have been working, and how Agency Y decided to stop paying me overtime pay for the overtime hours i work, BUT. the point is:
Agency X -- who originally hired me in 2008 -- just opened a new program two towns over. it's an intensive residential program for state hospital patients who are fire starters. currently 4 clients. possibly up to 6. with budget for 7 staff.
THIS IS HILARIOUS TO ME. obviously way higher intensity program, but after the shit we've been through at Agency Y, that is nothing to kelly & i. also i want to do residential direct care. have never done it before! i'm excited.
we both put in applications; she interviewed yesterday, and i am interviewing on monday. we pretty much have the positions, and we are both putting in our resignation notices to Agency Y at the same time, with a ps) GOOD LUCK AND SUCK IT at the bottom.
i am so tired / burned out / headachey / crazy that i do not care. about anything. it will be hard to tell the clients but honestly this is the nature of the beast that is MH, and they will get new counselors and they will forget about us and be fine.
i just can't sit back and continue to watch Agency Y drive our fucking awesome program into the ground. it is devastating, after all the work and pride we put into it with Agency X. i'm totally powerless here. kelly and i have BEGGED for more staff, begged for anything, begged for help, and they continue to tell us we don't need it.
I JUST WANT OUT
I CAN'T EVEN THINK ANYMORE
UGH.
so that's the main part of my story; the other bit is that i'm in business with a financial advising company for middle-income families getting screwed by credit card and mortgage companies, who've been laid off, have no retirement money, no income protection, etc AND DOING THAT HAS BEEN FUCKING AWESOME. it is shiny and new and a completely different way to be a counselor and i just love it. unfortunately it takes up a shitload of my time. i'm hoping to get into a groove there soon, too.
also i have not written a lick of my big bang in almost a month and it is stressing my shit out. eek.
i am so terrible at time management. i honestly try really hard - alarms, calendars, time grids, to-do lists. nothing works. i get mentally raped by my job from 7am-3pm, come home, curl up with my cats and watch netflix.
wahhhg
VERY IMPORTANTLY I SAW HAIR ON BROADWAY TWICE LAST WEEKEND AND IT GAVE ME ENERGY AND VITALITY AND STEAM and i love everything <3333
i miss my flist, i miss yall, i miss writing, reading, feedbacking, picspams, squees, hating on the anonmeme, loving on the love meme, etc into infinity.
am working very hard to get my shit together and get back to fandom!