RP Log with lotterylucky | A Little Awkward Advice

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It was a buzzing sound that dragged Riley out of his glorious and warm bubble of sleep. It seemed like it was a far off sound at first, and one he could ignore and just keep on sleeping, but it soon got to the point it was irritating and because he wasn't the deepest sleeper at the best of times, once he was woken, he was well and truly woken. He pushed the covers back from where they had been tucked up over his head and made a reach for his bedside clock, turning it towards him to check the time. It was just after nine am, but it was his day off, so why was a buzzing sound waking him just after nine am on his day off?


And apparently he was alone again. He squinted over his shoulder, realising he was in the bed alone despite having been wrapped up naked with Lucie... Nina... all night. There was a note on the empty vacant pillow beside him and he picked it up, finding her scrawled handwriting telling him she had been called into work and she would call him later. He smiled sleepily and dropped his head back down on his pillow, indulging in the fact she left him a note and was going to call him later. But then the buzzer went again, and he discovered now that it was his doorbell. "Okay... okay..." he mumbled groggily. He got up and took his towel from where it was draped over the chair in the corner of his room and wrapped it around his waist. He wasn't sure if the buzzer had just gone a couple of times or more than that. He considered not answering, but he never had the conscience for that. He was at the end of a wide yawn and trying to rake his hair into something presentable when he opened the door. His hand stilled at the side of his head and he blinked a few times to make sure he was seeing right. "Buffy?" he said huskily. This was... odd, considering the last interaction they had was her walking away in a huff. "Hey."

"Hi, I, um... was just not in the neighbourhood. Are you okay? Did I interrupt something?" Buffy asked as her gaze dipped down to the towel and then quickly flicked back up to his face. She was not about to stand there and perve. Not in the wake of another argument with Blaise, or in the wake of what had happened between her and Riley already. She shifted her weight before she held up a paper bag and a tray filled with two coffees. "I bought breakfast, but if you have company then you could just take it for the two of you."

"I don't. I mean, I did, but I don't anymore." Riley stepped aside, still looking at her in slight confusion as to why she was here. "Come in," he told her, making a quick check to make sure the towel was secure. The last thing anyone needed was him accidentally losing it. He was still half asleep, so it might take a few minutes for him to tap into some more brain clarity. He suddenly felt extremely mostly-naked and uncomfortable with the fact. Like he was betraying Nina with it. Weird how feelings could change so quickly in a short space of time. "I'll just... be right back." He hurried into his bedroom and pulled on some pants and a t-shirt before coming back out into the living area of his apartment, but only after checking his pager and cell phone to make sure he hadn't missed any urgent messsages. Both were clear. "Is everything alright? I've not heard anything. Well, I got a voicemail late last night saying Blaise was off the radar for today and maybe tomorrow, but other than that."

Buffy was looking around Riley's apartment again, just doing a little snooping for things that screamed female company. If she was already at the point where she was sleeping over often enough to constitute leaving stuff behind, Buffy knew it was serious. She wasn't exactly feeling jealous, more just protective of someone that really did mean a lot to her. "No, yes. Yes. It's okay. Blaise just needs some time to himself... He, um..." Buffy looked up at Riley now that he was standing in pants and a t-shirt. She was still hanging onto the coffee and croissants as she pulled her mouth to the side. "Riley, I just need to talk to you. Without arguing! I promise. I'm not here to argue. I just need to ask you something... A favour, I guess."

Riley was oblivious to Buffy scoping the place out, and he hadn't really thought much of the fact that Nina had, in fact, been leaving her stuff behind. There were some girly magazines on the table with her hairbrush beside a vase of red roses he had bought her on his way home from work to meet her. He had taken Juliette's advice, but the truth was, he had been intending to take that step anyway, even just to apologise to Nina for the crap he put her through during their first few encounters. "He's ill. I heard. He's very weak. That's why he needs time out. It's our job to make sure everything is okay without him." He sat down and looked up at her expectantly. "This should be good. Not sure we're capable of talking without arguing anymore. You don't seem to like anything I say, but okay. Shoot."

"Guess it's catching. Blaise thinks I don't like anything he has to say either." Buffy's expression fell as she just set the breakfast goods down and then sat in one of Riley's armchairs. It was definitely different to the place he'd been keeping in Sunnydale. She still couldn't remember why he hadn't just lived with her from the outset. Only back then she was still supposed to be enrolled in college, and he'd clearly dropped out once the initiative was over. "He was... I stayed with him after I left you. And I really wasn't walking out in a huff, you know. I wanted to follow Blaise. I couldn't help myself. I saw him feed on the woman that made him ill... The one with the blood disease. I met him back at his place, and he was... He was really sick. He couldn't stop turning the bed into a crime scene. It was awful, and I couldn't really do anything other than clean it up, or stroke his hair. Then yesterday I just managed to piss him off. Again. Which is why I'm here. We were talking rather passionately about me being the Slayer, and the possibility of giving it up."

Riley raised his eyebrows a little. "Hm, funny that," he commented lightly, but didn't elaborate on it or start pointing any fingers. "Kindred are like humans in that sense. They eat something bad, their body rejects it. It just acts more like a hemorrhage than food poisoning for us. He would have continued to bleed until he was rid of the bad blood, and then he would have had to replenish with completely fresh blood, but if he was damaged, it's probably hard for him to feed and he'll be weak. Vicious cycle, really. They don't have it as easy as us humans like to think they do. I knew something wasn't right with him when he walked out of that room and didn't acknowledge us. He was too far gone." He ran his palm over his chin, realising that he needed a shave. He was never really the sort to go without for too long. "And where do I come into all this?"

Buffy tucked her hands between her knees as she looked at him. Truth was, not shaving worked for him. She liked stubbly Riley, but she wasn't about to offer that opinion. She nodded as she listened though. "I know, I'm getting that part. Not to mention he's still suffering because he's... he's not in love. And he needs it. He can't just hope for something amazing. I'm not making it easier, and I know I'm pretty close to losing him if I don't just do something. And he thinks that I don't listen, but I do. And I think he seriously thought I was going to be a lion tamer just for the top hat, but I'm not. And I really do know I can't have him and be the Slayer. I'm working on that. Which is why I'm here. Riley, do you think I could make it in your unit? Do you think I could join, if I first joined the military?"

Riley listened, not interrupting her as she tried to explain what was going on. "Don't take this the wrong way, but how do you feel about him? I'm just not getting any vibes either way how you feel. Just that he's intriguing and that probably makes you curious. I don't know. I take it he has told you that being a Slayer and being in a relationship with him won't work? You've got to know, Buffy, it's likely not just a Slayer that would come with that. There are a lot of types of people he couldn't be with because of who and what he is. Whoever he dates does need the approval of a whole city, basically. That doesn't sound as intimidating as it seems. But think of human royalty. They're watched, admired. It's the same for Kindred. They'll need to know their Prince is in good hands. I guess the question is, are those good hands your hands? Or are your hands going to keep slaying?" He shrugged a little. "My unit?! Buffy, joining the military isn't like getting a job at a supermarket. You join my unit, you come in as cadet. Bottom of the barrel. It's... you don't like being told what to do by anyone, let alone take orders."

Buffy flinched at his inflection before she took her hands out from between her knees and held them up. "Hey, hey! A girl can change, you know. I can change. What else am I supposed to do? I can't keep slaying, and I can't flip burgers. I tried that, and I don't want to do it ever again. I didn't assume it was like getting a job at a supermarket, that's why I'm asking. I'm willing to be a cadet, to learn how to do things the military way. If you think you could have me. Riley, I need help, okay? I need to do something that proves to Blaise that I care about him, and I could love him. I'm not just curious, okay? I care about him. I just get cold feet. I can't help but be nervous when it comes to him. He's... like you said, he's royalty. But he's not just royalty, he's Kindred. And he's got this insanely beautiful cousin, and Juliette and any number of women wanting to fall at his feet. But he... he gave me diamonds, and I fucked that up, but he still thought I was diamond worthy. And he does intrigue me, and he turns me on, and he makes me think, and he can make me smile. I want to be worthy of him."

"Emmeline's back? Aw, man. She is like The Terminator in heels." Riley rubbed his forehead. "Buffy, you're missing the mark here. And I'm not saying that to piss you off. From what you're telling me here, it sounds like he is telling you to make choices for yourself, not for him. It's not going to work if you just do all this because you think it's what he wants you to do. You'll get to a point where you resent him for it. Maybe not now. Maybe not in a year, but you will. He's still a loving and caring guy under all that. The last thing he will want is locking you in a world that you don't want and have only entered to prove something to him. You need to think about it and make the choices for you. Leave slaying for you, or stay with it for you. Whatever. Juliette isn't falling at his feet, and Emmeline is his blood relative. She's definitely not falling at his feet. Be you, Buffy. Really decide deep down what you want and need, then see if you fit with him. Until you figure all that out, you're just fooling yourself and you're fooling him."

Buffy nodded slowly. "Yep, and she gave me the Kindred stare. Which Blaise told me after that I would never win. I didn't even think about it until he said. I can't make choices until I know that they're a possibility! Like your unit. Would you even take me on? It's a yes, or no question, Riley. Before you said no, but do you really think that? I've never had a real option to not be the Slayer. I know you probably don't believe me, but it's true. While Sunnydale and the Hellmouth existed, it was all I could be. That was my responsibility and now it's gone. These girls... I didn't think about what it would be like. I didn't consider that there were Kindred that would fear them. I didn't even know there were Kindred. If I stay with it, there's no Blaise. That's no decision to make, especially not for me. I want Blaise."

Riley looked at Buffy closely for a moment. "Did he tell you who Emmeline was?" he asked, tilting his head a little. "So, are you saying if I said no, you would just throw a tanty and give up? It's irrelevant if it's a possibility yet. The question is, do you want it or are you just asking because he suggested it as a way this could fix things? You need to decide if you want to stop being a Slayer, Buffy. That's the first thing you need to do. Once you do that, then we'll sit down and talk, and I'll help you. I'm not saying that is a golden ticket into my unit. I'm saying that when you decide either way, get back to me. Now that you know all that, and you know there is no Hellmouth or Sunnydale here, you need to decide what you want." He sighed at her last comment. "Do you want Blaise or a vampire to love?" he asked, holding her gaze. "All cards on the table here."

Buffy nodded again before she shifted back into the chair to sit a little more comfortably. Riley might have been hitting her with some hard truths, but she wasn't going to run, and he hadn't kicked her out. She just still needed to consider her future very carefully. "She's the one member of his family to be Embraced. She wanted to be Embraced. She wanted the life of a Kindred, even though Blaise didn't want it for her. She didn't give up asking until he finally agreed, but it was Juliette who Embraced her. She's a Toreador. She's a supermodel... And no, I'm not saying that. I'm saying that I want to know what my options are. You're not my only option, but at least your unit deals with the supernatural. It's not a total turnaround for an ex-Slayer to be part of it. I'm asking because if there's one person that I could work under, it's you. I know you're a good leader, I know you know your stuff. You always did, Riley." She looked back at him, and sucked in a small breath. "Blaise. All cards on the table."

Riley got up and went over to his bookshelf and pulled off a large book on French history that Blaise himself had given him when Riley started this job. Told him to read it all before he even would sit in the same room alone with him. Riley had to flag every French royal that sounded like it had Kindred connections. There were still post-its stuck down the edges of the pages. He found the page he was looking for and set the heavy book in Buffy's lap. "Have you ever heard of Marie Antoinette? The Queen who said 'Let them eat cake'?" he pointed to the page so she could see. He took his seat again. "We protect certain species of supernatural. The complete opposite of anything you know as a Slayer. Plus? You would have to take orders from Graham, too. You should think on that for awhile. We also use guns and other weaponry. Big guns. Just out of curiosity, how did you feel witnessing him in a hunger frenzy? He uses sex to target his meals, and not just a random grope. The whole box and dice. That had to be intense."

"Sure, of course I have," Buffy replied as she took the book and set it down in her lap. Her feet barely touched the ground as it was in Riley's arm chair, but she pointed her toes so that her knees could come up a little more and she could see the book better. "I know you're not telling me Emmeline's Marie Antoinette. That can't be right..." Her eyes started to skim the text and she bit down on her lip as she started to concentrate on the words more and more. "Hey, I'm not a total stranger to protecting people and things. I think Graham would take some seriously perverse pleasure out of giving me orders. Just saying. Me and Blaise already covered the gun thing. Apparently I'm hypocritical. It was... confronting. Of course it was, but I got to see a side of him I would never have been able to see. It helped me understand him a little better. He thinks I'm weird because it's made me care about him more. But it was him, you know? How am I supposed to ever understand unless I get to see."

Riley gave a small laugh and shook his head. "No. Marie Antoinette had her head chopped off. That and cake is what she is famous for. Also for having quite the fiery personality..." He pointed to the page. "She had four children, the last baby girl died in infancy. Only not. I don't know the complete ins and outs, but Blaise is the reason she survived. She wasn't expected to. Juliette's her Sire. She calls Blaise her uncle, but she's twenty five... twenty six... physically. He's twenty seven. True age, she is a direct descendant from Blaise's brother and was born around two hundred years after Blaise. She is probably the closest to a child he'll ever get. That's why she would have been giving you the death glare. The 'gun thing' is pretty important, Buffy. We're not going to let you walk around with a stake for protection, and staking a human to protect a Kindred just really isn't going to be so affective. What you have seen and what I have told you is maybe... five percent of what my whole unit is about. We cover all of Europe. It's not anything like slaying. We like to keep any fatalities to a bare minimum. We're not here to kill, we're here to protect. And I really can't help you on that front. I went about understanding him and his kind a lot different than how you are. I spent many, many hours with Blaise one-on-one so he could teach me. I watched him, I watched his people. Hell, I even lived like a Kindred for a period of time. It was intense. I barely saw sunlight for months. I just happened to dicover along the way that they were fascinating and that I really got a lot out of working with them, using my skills to protect them. It opened my eyes to realise that supernatural never automatically just equals monster or evil."

"Far cry from your Initiative days," Buffy murmured as she looked from Riley back to the book. So Emmeline was like Blaise's daughter. She was going to be a hurdle, Buffy could feel it. It wouldn't just be death glares. If she couldn't prove to Emmeline that she could love Blaise, she really did have no hope. She fell quiet again as she bit her lip. It wasn't like living nocturnal hours was something she wasn't used to either. It was still a miracle she'd kept her Californian tan. With Riley, it was the only time Buffy had ever really seen the sun. When she was in school she'd barely slept, and had still spent most of her hours in graveyards after dark. Here she wouldn't have to be She Who Hung Out In Cemeteries. Here, she could be something more than a Slayer. She could be anything she wanted. Buffy flipped back through the book, two hundred years previous to find the section on Blaise's father and his son that died. She ran her fingers over the words and sucked in a breath. "I just want to get it right, Riley. I don't want to fuck it up again with him. I know it'll be the last. I'm out of chances."

Riley nodded slightly and then cleared his throat softly. He got the situation, he really did. He was in Blaise's shoe with Buffy back in Sunnydale. He had enough, stopped wanting to fight for something when all he was getting was brick walls. "At least you know you want him. That's a start. You've gotta figure out what you want with the other things first, too. Blaise needs someone. He has admitted as much. He won't stop searching until he finds her, but she has to take him as a full package. The full package just has to be a Kindred Prince who really doesn't need the added worry of dating a Slayer and pissing his people off for it. If you want to stay with the Slayer thing, then you need to just let him go and walk away. Let him find his true love elsewhere. But if you're okay with giving something else in life a try and think that Blaise is someone you want to take riskes for, then just figure out what. But military means guns, Buffy. It means sacrifices. It means walking away from Slayer idealisms and finding a new way of thinking. It's a two way street. Kindred help us just as much as we help them. And there are some amazing Kindred in this city. Blaise and his close-knit circle are only just the very start. He just happens to be the superb at what he does. He would have been knocked off his 'throne' many years ago if he wasn't. You just have to know that respect is something he will not only expect, but demand. It's his right. He doesn't expect everyone to agree with him on every little detail, but he has been in that position a long time and he deserves it."

Buffy looked over at him with an apologetic smile. "I'm sorry, I know you don't need this. But you know me and you know Blaise, and Kindred and... I just really need advice. Plus a possible way into a job." She closed the book over as she kept her hands on the cover, her fingers running over the spine of it. "I want to move on from the slaying. I think I need to. I've done all I can do. If we can't reverse what we did to those girls, then I think it's just time to hand it all over to them. Let them be the next generation. I've never had a real chance to just let it all go, and this seems to be it. I need to just take it with both hands."

"Seems like a good frame of mind to be in. I'm not sure if I'm really the best person to be giving you advice, though. It took me three weeks after I met him to even believe he was a vampire. Something was sinking in about Kindred being different, but it was hard to fathom. Especially thinking that they were all around us. I swear, he must have gone away and pissed himself laughing at me for days. So, I got him to prove it. Basically." Riley gave a small shrug. "I guess what I'm trying to say is, and I don't mean this to be offensive to you, but I've kind of moved on from the whole being in awe of Slayers thing. My eyes have been opened to the big wide world. Some things believed to be evil aren't that at all. They're just misunderstood, and being misunderstood is something I can empathise with."

Buffy nodded. "I know, I can see that. I guess I'm just starting to realise how much I really did fall behind staying in Sunnydale. I mean, even when you came back those few years ago you were still all major secret agent bad guy. You grew up... I didn't. I can try and kid myself, but I know I didn't. Even when I was trying to be a school counsellor... Oh my god, such a joke. So not the right person. I got fired. Big surprise, right? Now there's no Sunnydale, and I don't even want to go back to Edinburgh. This place is like a whole new frontier. A scary, French-speaking new frontier but I want to be able to run with it."

"You've always been pretty fixated on Sunnydale, but life goes on. Unless you're dead, and yeah yeah, I know you were, but you're not now. Unless you're dead, there's no point just getting stagnate. And seriously, Buffy, it's not like you're middle-aged. You're twenty six years old. Some people have three kids by the time they hit your age. You've been a Slayer for ten years. That's not a huge amount of time, even if it's all you've known. Trust me. There was a time there when I thought The Iniative would be me for the rest of my life. I was deluded and naive. Also drugged and chipped, but that's another chapter in the book, isn't it?" Riley scratched at his head a little. "You could always become a Kindred bodyguard," he joked with a smirk.

Buffy tilted her head and blinked. "They allow mortal bodyguards?" She ran her tongue over her lips as she looked back down at the book on her lap. "If I'm with Blaise, kids really aren't on the cards anyway. I'm not going to be a family woman. I can't even get being a sister right. I'm just done having my life dictated by the Slayer thing. I want it to be Buffy's life now. So, um... How's Riley's life?"

"If you know how to kill Kindred, they do," Riley revealed with a small tilt of his head. It was the truth. It was just that to be one, you probably had to jump through as many hoops as joining the military... and carry guns. "I didn't say anything about family, I just used it as an example. I personally think twenty six is too young for kids anyway. You've got your whole life ahead of you. Though, easy for me to say, considering I'll be thirty in a few months. My life's great. Just having you come along shook it up again. Contrary to appearance, I really like where my life has come."

"Hey, I wasn't having a go. I was asking. Showing an interest in my friend. Or my eventual friend. Hey, thirty's not so bad. You're not really that old. I think you're aging well." Buffy leaned forward to set the book down and rest her elbows on her knees. "Would you teach me how to shoot?"

Riley smirked. "You can say that because you aren't nearly thirty. I'm technically older than Blaise. That's freaky when you think about it like that. To look at him, he looks no older than I am, but as soon as he opens his mouth, I feel like a kid sometimes. His eyes are telling, though. You spend enough time with him, you'll see what I mean by that. Next time you're with him, look closely at his eyes. They show how sad he is right now." He scrunched his nose up. "Buffy, you hate guns."

Buffy pointed at him. "I can say that because you really aren't looking so old. It's the truth, so just learn to accept the compliment and move on. I always look into his eyes. It's hard for me to look away half the time. Maybe I'm just getting mesmerised by the wrong part of his eyes." Buffy stuck her tongue out at him briefly. "And I can't be a bodyguard, or in the military without learning how to use them. I can't prove I'm not a hypocrite without learning how to use them."

"Then maybe you are just looking at them as eyes, and not the fact you're looking into his soul," Riley elaborated, albeit cryptically. "He's dead, remember. His eyes aren't like a human's. It's why they change so dramatically with emotion. Guns take a lot of skill to use correctly. Are you going to have the patience for that? I know you. You get thingy if you don't succeed in things."

"I'm a perfectionist, so sue me. I like to be able to do things successfully. Isn't that also a highly employable skill? It means I'm dedicated, and willing to work hard. Plus I could totally rock the Lara Croft look. Little shorts, and those holster thingies. Just saying." Buffy rocked her feet forward as she balanced her feet on her toes. After a moment she moved forward to grab her coffee. "I'll work on looking into Blaise's eyes if you work on turning me into the Tomb Raider."

Riley just blinked. "Yeah, because Kindred and military are totally going to take you seriously then," he said cynically. "Besides, you really don't have the body to match up to Lara," he couldn't help but add. "Pretty sure it's obvious right now that Blaise's tastes aren't that tacky."

Buffy took a sip of her drink before she shook her head. "You can really be a buzzkill sometimes, you know. And thank you so much for pointing out that I don't have her body. Really. And hey, for the record, I'm funsize. Just take a joke, Riley. Please. Crack a smile. Still, my point stands. I'll focus on his eyes and you just please teach me how to not hate guns. I'll even get back into meditation so my patience can be top notch."

Riley smirked and shook his head slowly. "Do I look like Giles? Do I sound like him? I'm not spoonfeeding you, Buffy. This time, you take the steps yourself. I can't teach you how not to hate guns. That's like asking me to teach you how to grow boobs. There's plenty of shooting ranges around Paris to give it a shot... pun intended. You've got to know if you're okay picking up a gun, let alone going in half-cocked and assuming you're even going to manage to learn how to use them properly. It's not a matter of picking up and shooting. It's about aim, focus, all of that."

Buffy arched an eyebrow as she grinned. "If you did know how to teach me how to grow breasts, I'd be more than a little concerned, Riley Finn. Aim, focus, 'all of that'? Riley, this is me. Those things I'll always have a grasp of. It's just switching the crossbow out for a gun."

Riley just started to laugh, sitting back in his chair as he shook his head. "Sure, Miss-Know-It-All. Sounds like you have it all in hand. Of course, silly me for thinking otherwise. It doesn't matter that the guns you will be shooting will be up there with AK47's, but you're so awesome that it won't matter how much different it is to a crossbow. All weapons must be the same, right? Why even ask me to teach you how to shoot if you're so perfect? You don't need anyone's help. You're Buffy Summers. Hell, why haven't you joined the military and the police force already? They must be near crumbling without you." He gave a small nod of amusement. "I really should have remembered. Especially in those later days, how you used to get pissed off I was honing in your territory. You always thought your skills were so much better than mine. Maybe better for slaying, but not better for everything. Unfortunately, walking around with a stake for a weapon in a place riddled with Kindred, will probably just get you laughed at. Maybe you could ask Blaise to let you stake him. See how much affect it has. Same goes for crossbows. You could shove an arrow up their nose, but it would probably just piss them off, more than anything else."

Buffy flipped Riley off before she started to laugh at her own stupidity. "Hey, I'm just... I need to try and save some face here. It wasn't like anyone was in a rush to tell me how to kill Kindred before. Just that it involves guns. I'm thinking normal bullets aren't the go. I have that much right, right? I know stakes or crossbows won't do anything. I'm not even trying to kill any Kindred! Have you actually seen me go patrolling? Has anyone? No. I've stayed put. I've just been curious and asking questions, but everyone keeps assuming I'm just going to start running around trying to randomly kill things. I'm not perfect, but I do know just a little about when it's appropriate to kill and when it isn't."

Riley shrugged. "And they probably still won't be in a rush as long as you have Slayer links, Buffy. I'm sorry, but they won't. All it takes is you telling one person, who tells a Slayer, who passes it on to that whole army of yours. Blaise doesn't trust you enough yet to be comfortable with you having information like that. Normal guns aren't the go," he corrected. "And it's not as easy as just shooting at them. It's a process. They're not easy to get rid of. It's not that at all, Buffy. No one has once accused you of that. I haven't, and I know Blaise hasn't. It's information. How it passes, who it passes to. You think Kindred should just take your word? Well, they won't. Bottom line is, you have a history of slaying similar species to their kind... en masse, and without batting an eyelid. To them, you're a killer. And sure, you don't like being called that, but if it looks like a duck, and all that."

"Quack," she replied softly before getting up from her chair. Buffy set the coffee back down again as she wrapped her arms around her middle and went over to one of Riley's windows that overlooked the city. She'd been spending that much time inside lately that it was easy to forget that she was in one of the most beautiful cities in the world. "I just want one night with Blaise that doesn't end in an argument, or him exploding blood. I want him to believe me when I tell him I'm done with Slaying. I want him to be able to trust me with information. I haven't once spilled his secrets."

"You can't just tell him. You need to show him. Just think about the picture you've been painting him for a minute, Buffy. You come to France after insulting him in Scotland, then you spend a bit of time with him before you're out sleeping with two different guys. If I was on the receiving end of that, I would be wondering what the fuck was wrong with me to cause that. Then everything with Rory happens, and shit hits the fan from all angles. When he tries to talk to you, you get defensive about the Slayer thing. I'm pretty sure if I was on the receiving end of that, I would be wondering if you really wanted to leave it at all, despite the 'word' you have been giving. You haven't given him a lot to work on to believe that your word is gospel. You need to just stop and make some damn life choices. Everyone else has done that. It's your turn now. He claimed you to set you free, Buffy. The ball is just in your court what you do with that. He can't just take your word, because so far, yours hasn't meant a whole lot. You still have an army of Slayers sitting in Scotland awaiting your return," Riley pointed out with a small shrug. "I think I'd rather my Army. At least I know where their loyalty lies."

Buffy let out a growl of frustration. "And I'm fixing that! What part of that are people not listening to? But magic can take time. Willow might be the best, but even she's gotta work up to the big stuff so we don't have another meltdown. I didn't plan on the army, okay? I just thought gathering together in one place might prevent the chaos. Not cause it. It's not like I knew about Kindred, so I couldn't anticipate the fact that they'd be concerned about the gathering of Slayers. I think Giles knows I'm not coming back. He's helping Will reverse it if they can. And if they can't, then... that's it. I'm just walking away. I don't want to go back there, Riley. It's not what I wanted for my life. Alright, so I want one night where what I do actually backs up what I say and I don't act stupid."

Riley gave a small sigh as he watched her. "He just needs time, Buffy. That's all. Maybe the key is just stepping back and waiting until you have something to show him. I don't know. What I do know is that you're both my friends, and I know that you're a very different friend to me than he is. He's guarded and he's protected. His heart is the most protected part of him. It's the biggest gift he has to give, and I think he wants to give it to you. He just won't until he can be sure you aren't going to do with it what you did with those diamonds. I'm not flogging a dead horse here. I'm just trying to help you see through his eyes. Because I think that's the first step for you. I think you've understood the whole Kindred concept, but you haven't stopped a whole lot to metaphorically stand beside him and see the world as he does. It's a very different world to what you and I know. I'm trying to help you, Buffy. I'm not attacking you. Trust me, if I wanted to do that, we wouldn't be on speaking terms. I have worked very closely with Blaise for months on end now, and I never stop having my eyes opened. This whole thing with Rory, I'm still reeling from it, but I understand it."

"But what if he doesn't have time? He won't wait for me... He can't. He'll be patient with me if he knows there's a payoff. I get that much, but again we're back to the showing. And the fact that I do have to step back before I can show him anything. It fells like the stupidest catch 22 in the world," Buffy told Riley with a slight pout before she came back to sit down. "So this is the part where I keep hitting the wall. I've never said I didn't understand what happened with Rory. I get it, too. It's a shock, but I get it. And it's also as awkward as hell being around that mansion when him and Juliette aren't talking, but I do get it. It's crazy that such a thing is even possible, but if it saves Rory then I'm all for it. I just want to actually be able to do something."

"This is the part where I once again say something you really probably don't want to hear. But if Blaise finds someone else in the meantime who he falls deeply in love with, you would probably just have to step back and accept that, and be glad he's happy. I know that's easier said than done, but you have to know he doesn't fall in love easily. At all. If, by some freak twist, which I doubt, his true love crosses his path between now and then, then it would be amazing for him. But if it's meant to be with you and him, the waiting won't matter. It will just take it's course. It's not a Catch 22, Buffy. It's just life. Sometimes, it plain sucks. Who's hitting walls? I asked you to look at things through Blaise's eyes. I didn't say you didn't understand about Rory. You're filling in gaps for yourself again. No wonder he gets frustrated with you. I've told you what you need to do. That's doing something. Didn't he say as much to you too?"

Buffy bit her lip as she gave a nod before showing him her hands in surrender to show she wasn't going to argue about it all again. She was done arguing. "Okay, so... I step back. I can do that. I need to do that. Thank you for this, Riley. I know it's probably not how you planned to spend your morning. Not when you've been in bed with your girlfriend. I'm glad you have someone. It's good. Nice. I've got some soul-searching to do... Again. So, I'll let you get back to it, okay?"

Riley shrugged. "I've been in bed on my own. She left. Apparently I was still comatose when she did." But she was making a get away and he wasn't going to stop her. He cleared his throat softly and stood up so she could leave without feeling awkward. "I guess I'll catch you whenever."

Buffy stood up again and held her hand out to Riley for a handshake before she gave him a sheepish smile and then slipped her arms around him in a brief hug. "You still don't need me cramping your style anymore, Riley. Not until you give me that job. Which I'm still determined to get, by the way. I just have to go get in touch with my shooting side. Take care of yourself, okay?"

Riley nodded and walked her over to the door. "Rory will probably wake up tomorrow, at the latest. If not overnight. Blaise has gone underground, so to speak, so if you want to drop by, feel free. Maybe just at a distance, first. I can't say I can really imagine a Ventrue Rory, but it should be interesting."

"Has to be more fun than the Brujah Rory." Buffy's expression turned wry as she shrugged and then waved to him. "I'll make sure I call first next time. Just in case your friend doesn't run out on you in a coma state again."