RP Log with lotterylucky & obscuritenoire | The Ex Factor

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After Juliette's little impromptu de-robed art session, Blaise was now sitting back at his desk, but this time dressed in a pair of tight jeans and a silver casual button-up shirt. He wasn't out on business, and he had the luxury of dressing down around his home. He realised that Buffy hadn't seen him like this, and nor had Sergeant Finn, who had just appeared at the office door, knocking lightly on the door jamb. Blaise waved him in, having already asked Buffy here after receiving news on Rory Buchanan. "Sergeant Finn," he greeted him with a smile. "Entrez, merci."

Riley started to enter the ornate office with the blinds drawn, only to balk a little at Blaise's casual appearance. He even nearly laughed in disbelief, so used to seeing Blaise adorned in suits and ties, and rarely nothing less. He looked nothing like a vampire right now, nothing sinister, nothing overly expensive. Just an ordinary guy, albeit an extremely well groomed one. "Hey," he replied and approached the desk. "I got your message. Sorry I'm a bit late. I was... tied up." He just wasn't going to mention that was literally when Lucie decided it might be fun to experiment with silk scarves.


Blaise watched Riley closely and then smirked, clearing his throat as he swivelled a little in his leather chair. "Have a good night then?" he asked.

Riley was about to sit down when he stilled, looking at Blaise as a small blush crept into his cheeks and then he threw his hands up. "Hey, stop that! Stop with the... the... Kindred sensation mojo thing! What I do in my down time is my business! You're like a walking lie detector test."

Buffy had been hoping to no avail that maybe Blaise would stand up so she could get a look at his ass in the tight jeans. She was also hoping his silver shirt might 'accidentally' fall off. She wasn't ever a fan of men in shiny shirts, but Blaise pulled off the silver shirt. She just happened to want to tear it off. She was almost too busy perving to first notice Riley enter, but when he did she snapped herself out of her reverie and stopped playing with her hair. At least with Blaise out of his suits she didn't feel quite so under-dressed in her own jeans and just a white cotton blouse. At the mention of the Kindred Sex Sense, Buffy blinked and looked at Riley. "That's what I keep trying to tell him, but he's all for the whole it's not about lies, it's just about senses. Or something."

Blaise looked between them both calmly, the smirk still playing on the corner of his lips. He tutted softly, shaking his head in amusement as he drew a small breath and casually tapped the side of his neck and then pointed to Riley. "Even I did not need special powers to sense a clearly visible collection of love bites, mon ami. Even Kindred are not messy enough to leave marks like that," he offered, finding it difficult to fight the urge to laugh. "But oversensitivity once again portays a sense of a guilty conscience, non? You humans and wearing your hearts on your sleeve."

Riley immediately slapped a hand over his neck with a pointed glare shot in Blaise's direction. "You are a huge, and expensive pain in the ass," he insisted self-consciously.

Buffy sat forward in her chair as she now tried to catch a glimpse of lovebites that she must have missed. She had managed to bite her tongue before trying to interrogate Riley over the who. At least he was moving on. That was a positive thing, right? And while she and Blaise were still at the goodnight kiss stage, he was off having messy bite-leaving sex. "I guess he just likes playing with people. But hey, go you for the tumbling fun. There's no shame in sex. Just be out and proud, Riley. You're a grown man. Who might just need to invest in a turtle-neck," she teased lightly.

Blaise was watching them both closely. His initial mocking easing as he analysed them. They hadn't slept together. If they had, Blaise wouldn't be able to be in their presence without getting extremely pissed off. But Riley had been extensively intimate with another woman very recently. Within hours. How did any of that make sense with Blaise assuming Riley was stealing Buffy's heart again? He looked at Buffy. He at least expected some sort of weirdness for her to realise Riley had been with someone else. It made no sense, and Blaise felt nothing but uncomfortable, despite his initial teasing. Not to mention Buffy's comment about being out and proud with sex. It just made Blaise suspicious as to the fact he was making her wait. Was she as okay with that as she seemed to tell him she was? "Sex is a private thing. There's nothing to be out and proud about," he added, unable to hold back his opinion. He cleared his throat and sat forward. "I believe Rory is to be woken today."

Riley felt like he had just been chastised and tried to disappear a little into his collar, which was near impossible considering he was wearing a t-shirt. He hadn't realised just how marked he ended up being, and Lucie was probably in a similar condition. They both got pretty caught up and lost in the whole encounter. But it wasn't like he slept with Buffy, so he didn't understand why Blaise was getting snippy with him. He hadn't meant to announce what he had been up to... and he didn't. It just was accidentally noticed. Did Blaise actually even sound a little defensive? Why would he be, though? Unless he hadn't had sex with Buffy? Could that be it? Surely not. That was the whole reason Riley ended up indulging in the one night stand. He figured Buffy had well and truly moved on into Blaise's arms, and he just needed to get his own encounter with her out of his system. He looked at his watch. It was later than he realise, and he was hit with a sense of guilt from losing track of time. "Um... yes. Actually, I believe the sedation would have already stopped. I should get there."

Buffy was watching both men now, her green eyes flicking between the two as she tried to work out what the hell was going. Was Riley actually in trouble now for having sex? Before Blaise seemed to have been willing to tease him, to have some fun with it and now the Kindred was starting to shut down again. Her eyebrow crept up a bit as she met his gaze briefly, wondering if he'd even bother telling her what was going through his mind. It wasn't like it had been she and Riley sleeping together. So it couldn't be jealousy, and he wasn't angry-angry. Just... annoyed. "Wait, wait. I just need to go over the plan again. Rory will have the sedation stopped at your base, but he's not being moved until he's awake? Isn't that a little dangerous if he is going to Hulk out once he's awake? It'll make him that much harder to move without strapping him up, and I'm not sure bondage fun is going to put him in a better mood. Is Airlie going with you?"

"He's not going to Hulk out, he's probably just going to be a cranky bastard. Unless it's already in his nature to start randomly belting people around, he won't do it now. He still needs to recover. The doctors won't let him go until they're happy he is okay to," Riley explained. He was still self-consciously trying to adjust the collar on his t-shirt. It had been a confusing enough morning as it was without needing a vampire looking at him like he had committed fraud from having completely consensual sex with someone totally independent of the situation. Everyone else was getting it on, why shouldn't he? "And you know what? I'm allowed to have sex with whoever I want. I didn't come in here and 'announce' it. It was on my own free time, and other than the whole accidental thing with Buffy, I haven't been with anyone since my divorce. And who are we kidding here? We all know this is as awkward as all hell. You two sitting there making eyes at each other to the point it's irrelevant if anything has even happened between you or not yet, and you expect me to just sit aside and play the pathetic pining ex? Nah-uh. Ain't gonna happen. So yeah, I got laid. Neither of you actually give a toss about it, and it's going to make no difference to either of you if I actually freaking enjoyed every. single. second. of it."

Blaise was confused. More than. He didn't know if Riley was just projecting to try and cover the fact he was still in love with Buffy. He didn't know if Buffy was making light of it to cover the fact she was still in love with Riley. What he did know was this was the first time he had seen Riley speak about his private life, and so passionately, too. He knew there was a lot more underlying his words than he was saying. "Of course we care, ami," he said calmly.

Buffy's eyebrows shot up at Riley's declaration regarding his private life before she pointed at herself, and then Blaise. "We're not making eyes! We care about you, but we're still not making eyes at each other. There is no eye making. Okay? There's just some... glancing in each other's directions. And some perving on my part, because have you seen the jeans he's wearing? I'm glad you had a night of fun, Riley. A night with someone you had amazing sex with. No one's discounting it, or expecting you to make an announcement. I didn't even think about it until Blaise made a comment. Your private life is your private life. I just care that you're happy."

Riley threw up his hands. "My GOD! I don't want to know," he said to Buffy in frustration. "Of course you only freaking care if I'm happy! Anything else was too much damn work, wasn't it?" Okay, this really wasn't going how he planned it. He wasn't keeping his professional cool and he wasn't following his own orders to himself to shut the hell up about his past with Buffy. He decided that he must be insane, or drugged. There was no other explanation for one, acting like a dick with Lucie, and then acting like a bigger dick in front of Blaise and Buffy. "Have I seen the jeans. The jeans?! Are you bloody serious?! Why the hell would I want to look at your new lover's jeans?! It's times like this I wish I was a witch to do some voodoo spell and turn back time, stop myself sleeping with you that night after the Eiffel Tower, because it was a damn mistake."

Blaise could feel Riley's anger and frustration. He was brimming with it. He looked at him, and then at Buffy. Their past wasn't something he was really sure he should be involved in. It was likely to just end up spiking his own anger, and that was the last thing anyone needed. It was also making him restless that Riley's increased emotions were making him seem like a highly tantilising feed right now. It would give Blaise a rush, like a hit of a drug for a mortal, and he just shifted slightly in his seat. "Should I leave you two alone?" he asked.

Buffy held up her hand as she shook her head. "No, you don't. I'll just sit over here and keep my mouth shut. Clearly I'm not helping things so maybe I should be the one leaving. I'm here because you wanted to talk about Rory, right? So let's just stick to talking about Rory. We won't discuss anyone's love life, or jeans, or the past. Strictly business. The Eiffel Tower never happened." She shot Riley a look, a cross between hurt and angry. She had never regretted that night. She might have regretted some of the things that had followed, but not the actual night. She was also always going to care about Riley, but she'd done too much damage. Maybe there really was no chance of a friendship between them, and that hurt more than anything.

Blaise stood up slowly, his eyes were locked on Buffy as he did so, but as he rounded the desk, they shifted slowly to Riley, who was sitting there stiffly in the chair beside Buffy, looking away at the carpet to the side of the desk. He was so angry, yet Blaise was also getting an air of confusion through it all. He didn't miss the look Buffy shot at her ex, either, and whether Blaise would stop to think about his actions or not, he still preferred to command control of a situation. He wasn't going to claim him, he really wasn't. He just knew if he tasted Riley, he would be able to absorb his feelings a little better. If he was in love with Buffy, the one Blaise had claimed, Blaise would know straight away just at a mere taste. "Mon ami... laisse-moi...," he purred, a growl of hunger edging his tone as his eyes flashed to a soft silver, fingertips coming to rest on Riley's shoulder.

Riley immediately froze at the sound of Blaise's voice and the sudden appearance beside him. This really wasn't fair. Riley knew how intense it felt to have a Kindred feed on you, and he was pissed off enough to let it act as some sort of distraction. He couldn't look at Buffy. He couldn't. But he also couldn't say no... He touched his hand to his neck again and gave a slight nod, turning his head away from Buffy's direction to give Blaise easy access. No matter how much he knew what was coming, it still came as a shocking rush as soon as Blaise leant forward and bit into his throat. Seriously, he could fucking get used to this.

Buffy wasn't sure what she felt first, but in the end she just felt jealous. Even her ex could be fed on by Blaise. She shouldn't have wanted that to so badly be her, but she did. She wanted to be the one giving Blaise neck action, and the one getting inside those tight jeans. She got up out of the seat so that she could just be anywhere but next to the image of the Kindred that she so badly wanted feeding on the man she had never let herself truly want. She clenched her jaw as she tried to wait, and tried not to let the jealousy eat her up. It was stupid. So, so stupid. She had let Juliette feed from her willingly, and she had even watched mesmerised as Blaise had fed from Juliette, but this was one thing she couldn't watch. It wasn't as hot as she thought it would be.

It was just as Blaise expected, and he had Riley pinned into the chair from the force of the connection. He held on as long as he could without causing Riley to pass out and then pulled back, running his tongue over his lips as he swallowed. With a soft squeeze to Riley's shoulder in appreciation, he ran his tongue over the two puncture wounds, healing them, and then took a step back from the soldier. His eyes were intent on his face for a few moments. There was something there. There was still something there, and it frustrated him to not really be able to tell if it was love or not. It wasn't true love, yet when he looked over at Buffy, there was that urge to try and taste her again.

Riley might not have passed out, but he was definitely light-headed. Blaise never just took a taste, he latched on for all it's worth. He let his head rest back against the chair with a slight wooziness, his hands gripped around the arms of it. "I know what you're thinking," he finally said breathlessly, swallowing to try and catch his breath. "I'm not in love with Buffy. It was never going to work again. Not here. I'm too scarred over it, and you... she's not going to turn away from you now she's experienced you. I know her. Some days I wondered if I knew her better than myself, until one day I woke up out of the blue realising I didn't really know her at all. But I know her well enough now. You're everything she's never admitted she truly wants. I've only ever been a consolation prize." He knew he was talking as if Buffy wasn't in the room, but he needed Blaise to understand. Hell, Buffy needed to understand why he had come now to regret the fact they slept together again. "I don't want to be anyone's consolation prize anymore."

Buffy was listening. She was listening to every word as she turned to glance at Riley. She couldn't argue with him. He was right. She knew, somewhere deep down that he was right. She'd fallen for Angel hard when she'd moved to Sunnydale. Honestly believed that he was her epic love, but he wasn't. Spike definitely wasn't but it certainly made for an interesting development in her types. Blaise was them, but better. He was like no one she had ever met, and she couldn't help but be drawn to it. Just like she couldn't help but start to feel something deeper for him. Regardless of the bumps, of the fact that there hadn't been any sex yet - she didn't need the sex to tell her she was falling for him, and would fall deep and hard if he let her. She just wished Riley didn't have to get hurt again in the process.

Blaise went over to the liquor cabinet in the corner of his office and poured Riley a generous shot of scotch into a crystal glass. "Boire, mon ami," he told him, placing the glass in Riley's hand. It would help him regain a little more strength. He could more than understand how the soldier was feeling right now, and it wasn't a feeling he would wish on anyone. Not so much being a consolation prize, but wanting to have all of someone so badly that it physically hurt. Buffy wasn't saying anything, and in the wake of Riley's words, that seemed strange to Blaise. "We shall see to Monsieur Buchanan, and then perhaps you could do with a few days break, non? You seem very tired. Perhaps you can spend more time with your fille."

Riley swallowed the scotch in one mouthful, even if it went straight to his head considering the blood loss. It still felt burny going down, and that's what he needed. "I don't need it, I'm fine. There could be more attacks, and you might need help if Rory decides he wants to be a cock about all of this. You don't know, he might turn on Kindred for revenge. You would need protection. He is more than aware how to destory your Kind." Not to mention a few days with Lucie just made him feel nervous about what she was hiding, and he really didn't want to think about that right now.

Buffy held up her hand slightly, this time the Slayer in her kicking in despite everything. There was also a big hint of a protective girlfriend towards Blaise. "Okay, so is someone actually going to tell me that particular punchline? If I'm not gonna sit on the bench, then I still need to get let in on the whole deal. I can't protect anyone without knowing what I'm looking for. Like if Rory suddenly starts threatening Blaise, or Juliette, even Airlie with a rubber chicken is that just because he's got a screw loose or because rubber chickens are the secret weapon against Kindred? I'm hardly going to use the knowledge to go and tell my... army. My lips are sealed. If nothing else, can't you just trust me and me alone?" She looked between the two men. "I know I suck with relationships, but this I don't suck with."

Blaise looked at her and perched on the edge of his desk, folding his arms loosely over his chest. "Non, amour. I am not going to tell you how you can kill Kindred. That is not information you need to know. If Rory starts threatening everyone, there are extensive security measures in place to intervene. I am hoping he will be subdued enough from the injuries to be incapable of hurting anyone seriously, especially himself. This that he feels under the effect of Brujah blood, it will feel like a drugged haze to him once it wears off. He will not remember a whole lot of what he experiences during that time. Emotions, oui, but not exact actions. Je suis désolé, Buffy, but you are aware of magic and super-human powers. Even if you have no intentions of using the information, you can be used to use it. I will not have you used as a weapon against me. And we all know it can happen. I hear even you changed bodies with your friend at one point. This not about sucking. No matter what happens between you and I, you are still the Slayer and you do not get to choose who of my Kind lives or dies. That is my job."

Buffy folded her arms under her chest, but she didn't argue. Again, it was just that she hated lacking information more than the fact she really wanted to know how to destroy his Kind. Her lips formed a thin line briefly before she just gave a nod and turned to look back out of the window again. "That body changing thing was a once off, and it was years ago. Magic. She didn't get any of my brain, just my body. Same as I had hears. Which was... well, strange doesn't even cut it." And that was as far as she went into it. She wasn't about to get into Riley sleeping with Faith, telling 'Buffy' he loved her when he didn't even realise Buffy wasn't the one in the body. It was all history now. All in the past. Just like them. "Okay, okay. You're the boss. Your turf, your Kind, your rules. I'm all about respecting that. Just like I promised."

"Strange," Riley snorted cynically and pushed forward to get up out of the chair. He had to hold onto the edge of the desk to steady himself for a few moments when his head spun. That whole situation was bullshit, only to have Buffy turn around and get all shitty that Riley had cheated on her and again he was the one playing the doormat. He was the one who had to apologise because apparently it was his fault he didn't realise she was acting weirdly. "You know what? I'm going. Away. Right away. So you two can just all... do what creatures of the night and lovers do without an audience, and I'll just be... gone away." He waved at the both and then left before either of them could say anymore. He would somehow remember to get out of this damn place, and Blaise could come to Riley on his turf to talk business, but this was all just too much for Riley to swallow.

Blaise looked down at the empty scotch glass in his hand that Riley had given him back once he took the drink, and then raised an eyebrow as he watched the soldier leave. "That night you slept with him, you were contemplating a second chance with him, non?" he finally asked Buffy quietly, remaining leaning against the edge of his desk. "There is no other explanation why he is so discontent over all of this. He believed there might have been a second chance too. You cannot deny, Buffy. He was not aware there was anything that had occured between you and I. Not anything of importance, anyway. Are you ashamed of the claim?"

Buffy turned around now they were alone, and came over to where Blaise was as she dropped her arms back to the side. When she was standing next to him she took the glass out of his hand and set it down on the desk. Buffy threaded her fingers through Blaise's so they were holding hands and kissed the back of his as she leaned against him. "Ashamed of the claim? No... So much a no it scares me, but see... there's this wonderful place called denial and it ain't just a river in Egypt. The fact that I liked it, liked you, liked the idea of your world... It scared me. I can't deny that. I was trained to not want to be a part of this, but everything I do draws me closer. Everyone I care about... And then Riley was just suddenly there and I guess maybe I wanted so badly to be able to be who he wanted, it was easy to think about a second chance. That maybe I could love him this time around, but I can't. I'll never be able to. Too much water under the bridge. Too much history. It really was more like a goodbye, but he wanted the second chance, and it breaks my heart knowing I fucked him over again. He's Riley. I'll always care about him. But I'm not in love him. It's too late for that."

Blaise shook his head and faintly smirked. "You like to think of him as a lovesick puppy, non? He's not pining for you, Buffy. I can feel it. I don't think he truly believed a second chance was possible. He is annoyed if you tried to tempt him into it, I believe. There is someone, however, he has feelings for. It was blurring my sense of the situation. He has a lot of threads running through him. This time, perhaps, I feel he is the one truly incapable of giving his heart. It may be too broken. For that, it is why I believe he didn't see your encounter as a potential second chance. Your appearance just confused him. I still do not think I will entirely understand what it was about him that made him so incapable of loving him. It does not exactly born much confidence in a man like me. I do not think I would take as subduedly to a broken heart as he did."

Buffy let out a sigh. "It wasn't him. That's what I've been saying. It was me. I wasn't capable of loving him. Not as much as I should have. There was nothing wrong with him. But I'm ready now, I can love. I'm not looking to break your heart, Blaise. I'm looking for this to be the real thing. I... I'm falling for you. I just had to go through a moment of confusion first. Or, well, maybe ten moments. But I'm here now, and I'm all yours if you'll still have me."

"We shall take each day and see what happens," was Blaise's quiet reply. In the light of everything, and the fact she had seemed incapable of understanding him in the early days, he had to protect his own feelings too. She seemed to freely say these things, but her actions went against what she was insisting. He was wary and still uncertain in the situation. He also wasn't sure if she was only capable of truly being invested in situations she commanded. Without that, she never seemed content, and unfortunately, Blaise would never let anyone else command his own situation. He never had and never would. Even before his Embrace, he was born into royalty. He was raised to command, to be in charge, to rule. It was ultimately that natural ability that had him appointed Prince when the last ruler died. That wasn't to say he wanted to control her. He didn't. He just wanted to retain control of himself and of his city. He would die fighting for that. "You do understand that I can never be one hundred percent faithful to you, non? My first true love will always be my city. That is in my blood. I will also always need to feed elsewhere. I cannot survive solely on one source of blood. I cannot survive solely on Kindred blood, and feeding is an intimate event."

"Maybe that's what's going to keep us from imploding?" Buffy asked him quietly. "And at least I know about your feeding, about the other... sources. Not getting a little jealous might be hard at first but I promise I'll work on it. Each day at a time... It's a learning curve, and I'm not going to apologise for that. Who needs faithful if it means real, true love? Maybe one day you'll actually be able to feed from me. Just, please do me one, tiny favour if it's within your power?"

Blaise raised his eyebrows slightly. "Jealous? You hardly seemed to bat an eyelid when I fed from Riley," he pointed out to her calmly. "In fact, you looked away. Almost like you were disgusted. That's some intriguing jealous reactions you have there. Quite unlike I have ever seen. Go ahead. I cannot promise anything unless I know what it is."

"Don't ever feed on Riley in front of me again," she told him, her voice low as her green eyes held his gaze. "Don't even think about doing it in front of me. That was disgust, that wasn't jealousy. I can't be jealous of that when one of my worst memories involves finding Riley in a vampire feeding house with some bumpy foreheaded skank sitting in his lap while she fed on my boyfriend. I want to be someone you can feed off, I want to be someone you're making the sexy neck time with. Not Riley. So please, just... do that for me. I know you use feeding as some kinda sensing the truth thing, but just don't hook into Riley when I'm around."

Blaise looked at her evenly. "Non. I will not promise that, and I cannot even begin to tell you how much I am offended at your request, let alone that you put me in the same realm as the vampires you reference." He pushed up from the desk and walked away from her to return to his seat behind it. "You are, however, free to leave any time I feed if it disgusts you so. No one is forcing you to stay. If you cannot handle it, you know what you are welcome to do."

Buffy reached up to press her fingertips against her forehead and tried to work out if that meant she was dismissed now, or if she should be grateful that he was even inferring she could still be present when he fed. She glanced around his room before she moved to take a seat on the armchair by window and curled up on it. "I'm sorry. I'm still learning how to not sound like an ass when I talk. Apparently my foot is just permanently lodged in my mouth these days."

Blaise looked over at her in bewilderment. "I know you have had experience in the past with other vampires, but why do you seem so intent on assuming I am like that? It is offensive. I know what they are like, and it is hurtful to assume I am like them. Yet it is also tiring for me to feel like I am continuously chastising you. I do not want to do that. However, I am not just going to stand there and let you insult me. You believe I fed from him to seek some truth? You do not think I could respect that I would hope to learn that on my own at some point? He was emitting a high level of emotion. It is like a drug to me. Did I sit there and attack him? Non. I requested his approval and he granted it. His blood is fresh and unfamiliar to me. It would give me rapid strength to feed on it." He paused, thinking for a moment as he rested his tongue between his lips, wondering how he could get her to understand. To see through his eyes. "Like a large and fine expensive chocolate gateau. Bathed in cream. Sitting in front of you for the taking when perhaps your own mood is sub par. Would you just sit there and ignore it? Pretend you did not want it? Not even want to taste it? But what if it helped you understand just a little bit more why your heart was so glum? To give you some answers you need it? Would you still let it sit there untouched?"

Buffy looked across the room at Blaise and gave a shake of her head. "No, I wouldn't. I just... I feel like yesterday's cheesecake when you're there eating the Riley gateau. I really don't mean to keep insulting you, but I don't have anything for a basis of comparison other than the other vamps I've dealt with. I know you're not them, but they're all I've known. I still need to get used to this world. So did the chocolate gateau give you the answers you needed to know why your heart was so glum?"

"Then you and I are obviously nothing alike," Blaise said flatly. The more he spoke to her, the more it felt like she understood him less. He was exhausted trying to get her to understand and he was starting to wonder if she even wanted to. It felt like she had decided her world was the most knowledgeable and anything that swayed from that couldn't possibly be the correct way. "Bottom line is, you do keep insulting me. Repeatedly. I feel like you have no interest in actually understanding me. Every time I try to get you to understand, you try and throw your own past experiences back in my face as if they are some sort of firm foundation of why my world makes no sense. Of why my world is wrong. I do not care if they are all you have known, Buffy, if you are not going to stop and open your eyes to me. I do not think Sergeant Finn has anything to do with why my heart was so glum, non. I think I have been firmly mistaken by this whole thing. I have given you everything I can to try and invite you into my world and introduce you to who and what I am. I even invite your mortal friend into my own private home without knowing anything about him simply so you have support. Yet, you give me nothing in return but diatribes of your own past experiences and how they cannot possibly waver to accommodate anything else that might contradict your beliefs. We keep coming back to this point, and I cannot do it anymore. Do not think for a minute that I do not know what this is all about. You have a giant chip on your shoulder about the fact I cannot feed from you. The fact you have not loved before now is not my fault, Buffy. I will not bear that. Cease blaming me for it, or I am going to walk away from this and you will never see me again."

Buffy tried not to look like the naughty child as Blaise spoke. He wasn't the only one feeling misunderstood though. She didn't think his world was wrong, she didn't think his world didn't make sense. She just needed time to be a part of it to understand it, but if she opened her mouth and mentioned her own world then that somehow meant she wasn't giving his the time of day. Of course she was going to talk about her world. Just like people spoke about their previous workplaces when they changed jobs, or the towns they used to live in. Exes they had dated. Of course she tried to talk about her exes at a minimal, but Riley was hardly a topic they could avoid, and now Buffy was once again being told she would lose Blaise for good. She was just struggling to know what it was that she could give back. She couldn't give him blood, she couldn't give him gifts. She couldn't exactly offer her services as a Slayer. Her beliefs had wavered long ago, but nothing she could say or do was proving that to him. She also knew if she just got up and left the room he'd take that as a signal that she didn't want this, didn't want to try. So Buffy stayed in her position on the chair as she tried to think of something she could give Blaise. Times like these she really could have done with a singing demon. At least that way the truth would just come out.

After a long moment Buffy moved, slowly and carefully so Blaise was sure she wasn't about to try and attack him, pounce him, or run off. She came up beside him in his desk chair and ran her fingers through his dark hair before she leaned down a little kiss him for all it was worth. Everything that she was inadequate in saying, she just tried to put into the kiss. The fact that she was falling for him included. Despite everything, despite the misunderstandings, her heart really was his if he wanted it. That was one thing she could give him.

Blaise let the kiss linger, even if the whole thing just served to confuse him more. He soon pulled away, though, and looked up at her with a small, uncertain frown. "Is that going to be your answer everytime I tell you something you have said has hurt me?" he asked quietly. "Perhaps, here, you are too locked on your past, while I am too busy trying to see what is in the future. To be honest, I do not know how that is ever going to work. I was only going to talk to you about this when you were receptive in hopes you would understand, but it seems that luxury has been taken away in light of your disgust at me feeding from Riley. I cannot seem to find an adequate enough moment when you aren't trying to slot me into your own beliefs about vampires or when you are walking away to get from other men what I have yet to give you." He rested his head back against his chair and then shook it slowly. "Like fitting a square peg into a round hole, Buffy. I am not a vampire, Buffy. I am Kindred. There is part of you that still wants me to be a monster just like this Angel I have heard so much about. How, also, am I supposed to truly believe you have no lingering feelings for Sergeant Finn when you are likening me feeding on him to a disgusting memory of yours that you blatantly profess is not jealousy? You were likening me to those vampires, Buffy. Called my feeding 'hooking into him'. And I'm supposed to believe you have it in you to love me, for you to see me as someone who can ultimately be true to you? That you can just set these apparent disgusting memories you keep comparing me to aside and all will be happy? I don't want you to keep giving me your past. That is yours to keep hold of. I want you to give me your future. Do you see me continuously throwing my hundreds of experiences of people trying to kill me in your face? You're a Slayer, you kill vampires, why shouldn't I be doing that? Aren't you just like all those Kindred assassins who want me dead? Non? Of course you aren't. And I have never once compared you to them. Please, Buffy, just give me the same in return. My ability to feed on only those who have experienced true love is not something I have ever seen as a flaw until I met you. In fact, I prided myself on it. To have a taste solely for something so pure was always something I felt honoured to have. I do not know why my tastes were restricted, and have never been able to find a reason for it. Perhaps destiny, I do not know. It is not a solely isolated freakish act, however. It is part of me. You see, in turn I need to have true love myself to survive. That, above blood, above all else, is what sustains my Kindred life. Without it, evidently, I get seriously ill. In fact, I believe that is the very reason I have been ailing of late. I have a broken heart. I believe in claiming you, my inner soul believed I had found love again, yet all the confusion and hurt it just doesn't seem to have come to fruition, and it has incapacitated me. This what I have been hoping to reveal to you. You see, Buffy, if you cannot give me what I need, I have no choice but to walk away or I fear I will reach my end."