just_muse_me | 36.10. Mary O'Hara quote
36.10. "Love cannot survive if you just give it scraps of yourself, scraps of your time, scraps of your thoughts."
- Mary O'Hara
Co-written with obscuritenoire
[Follows THIS]
Buffy could only stand there in complete shock after Riley locked her in the interview room with Blaise. Then she frowned as she tried to work out if she could bust open the door, and whether or not Blaise would actually take that as another insult. It wasn't so much that she wanted to run away from him. Of course she didn't. Even if she was trying to subtly sniff herself. Surely the scents of males and sex didn't linger for more than a day... She hadn't slept with Riley since that night. At least she hadn't had sex with him. She had literally slept with him when he wasn't feeling well.
"Um," she began, but then stopped as her brain faltered in giving her anything intelligent to say. If she apologised she would probably get told to fuck off. If she didn't apologise she would be seen as rude, and arrogant. Buffy was in a no win situation and she hated the fact that she was forced to over-analyse. She also hated that there was no way to be able to talk to Blaise like she wanted to talk to him without bringing up a topic he no doubt wanted to avoid like the plague. "I'd say we should play 'I spy' but the room doesn't exactly hold much in the way of objects. How about we just play twenty questions starting with what the hell is going on here?"
Blaise listened as a mechanical voice came through the speaker declaring 'Isolation commenced'. For a few moments, he just stood there and didn't react, though he was trying to figure out what the hell Finn was playing at. Obviously he knew Buffy had been in here and this was all some sort of ruse. He was also trying to decide if he wanted to ruin Finn's career by declaring locking him in a room with a Slayer as going against his orders. He didn't look at Buffy, keeping his back turned on her for a time that probably felt a lot longer than it actually was. He wasn't sure he really could look at her without it infuriating him. But he grabbed his proverbial balls and soon glanced at her over his shoulder before he turned. His eyes were silver, he couldn't deny the fact he was extremely pissed off about being trapped. No vampire, whatever their kind, took well to that. "I would indulge you, mon cherie, but I am more than assured I will not appreciate your answers," he said, his voice oddly calm and even.
Buffy's eyebrows went up as she looked at him, her own anger bubbling to the surface. Maybe she had deserved the jab but it still cut deep and hurt. She paced up and down for a few moments before she took a seat on one side of the table, and spread her fingers against the surface of it to show she wasn't about to go for any kind of weapon. He could see where her hands were at all times. "Screw the appreciation. Just let me have a chance. Any question you want to ask, I'll answer. So long as you tell me if you actually know what's going on here besides Riley clearly losing his marbles and engaging in a backwards game of Cupid. If you want some collateral, I'll give it. If you still want me out of your City, if you want the Slayerettes out of Europe... It's done. You'll never see me again if you still want that after you talk to me. I didn't exactly appreciate Riley being your messenger. You could have just told me face to face."
"You have already given it Mademoiselle Summers. Your friend lying battered and broken in a hospital bed is not enough for you?" Blaise returned, biting off the words. He stayed standing by the door, knowing it was safer to keep his distance for the moment. He had to work intently to keep his reactions in check. He hated the knowledge that he was still weakened. At her last comment, he clneched his fists at his side and pressed his back against the wall as he just stared at her, half in disbelief and half in utter disgust. "Take a number in between you fucking two different men?" he growled. "I would rather not."
The colour drained from Buffy's face as she stared at Blaise, something cold slithering into her stomach. Dread. "What?" she asked hoarsely. "Who was battered?"
Blaise frowned, glancing at the door in confusion as if it would have all the answers. Finn hadn't told Buffy? Oh hell, what an assumption to make. Blaise just assumed because Buffy had been with the soldier, she would be privvy to the information. But of course not. Kindred were involved. Blaise had to be the first point of call. "Rory Buchanan. He was attacked last night on the side of the road. That is why I have been summonsed here."
Buffy jumped out of her chair and came over to the door and started to pound on it. "RILEY! RILEY FINN YOU COME BACK HERE!" She kept pounding on the door until she left a dent in the back of it, but didn't succeed in forcing it open. Her whole body felt like it was shaking as the shock started to set in. She didn't even notice when the side of her hand became bruised and bloody. "Kindred... Kindred did it. And he couldn't tell me because of you," she finally said when she slumped against the door next to Blaise. "Rory was still weak from the last time he got drained. Is he even going to be okay?"
Blaise could smell the blood, but as he looked at her hand, he just still couldn't feel any urge to taste it. He continued to keep his distance and stayed standing where he was. He wouldn't admit to being claustrophobic, but it was pretty damn close. Another difference between him and other kinds of vampire. Most of them wouldn't mind napping in a coffin, but Blaise would tear someone to shreds who tried to get him into one of those. "I do not know. He is apparently sedated. I assume Sergeant Finn is taking Juliette to see him. She will be able to draw conclusions from his wounds, smell certain Clans on him. He is lucky to be alive."
Buffy pressed her forehead against the back of the door and stayed quiet as she tried to catch her breath. "When did it happen? He doesn't... I didn't think Kindred did this kind of thing. But this is two attacks. Both on Rory. How is that fair? He doesn't deserve it. No one deserves it." She pushed back off the door and went back over to sink down into a chair, not even looking at Blaise. The Slayer in her was desperate to get out, and to start hunting, but she'd made a promise. She also didn't know what Riley's team had done to stop the offending Kindred. This wasn't her territory. She really was just in the dark here.
"Who ever said Kindred do not do this sort of thing? Of course they do. Any species living and breathing has the ability to have defectors, people who do not agree with laws and rules. There are Clans who are very susceptible to that. Clans who are, by their very nature, beasts. Clans who are reckless or vindictive. Our Clans are made up of all human traits. The good and the bad. We all have positive and negative traits, just like mortals. Toreador, for example, are thought of to be shallow and vain. Ventrue, power hungry and cold. Gangrel, reckless and indifferent, Brujah, vicious and cunning. They all have good purposes too, however. No leader, no matter how powerful, can ever wish to completely rule their whole race. I cannot keep tabs on every Kindred in France. I can only hope they respect our laws and our boundaries. But just like humans, of course, not always do they do that. His first attack was not a Kindred. I do not know what it was." Blaise stopped talking and closed his eyes briefly, working on keeping himself together.
Buffy thought back to Rory's attack and she gave a nod. "You're right, they weren't. They poofed like the ordinary vamps I'm used to dusting. Not Kindred. Maybe Rory just smells really good to a vamp? I know he does to you... he's been in true love. I just don't understand. Even if you do have defectors in your race, why would they just randomly pick on Rory? That would mean they're just opportunistic. I don't know if it's worse believing this was random, or hoping there's an actual reason for him lying in a hospital bed." She rubbed her hand over her face and sucked in a breath. It was only as she looked down that she even realised she'd hurt herself. And realised that Blaise was hardly about to offer up his insane healing tongue. He wouldn't like what he tasted. "Blaise, there's something I need to say. But I know the timing's bad. Worse than bad."
Blaise ignored her comment about Rory smelling good to him. Scent didn't even come into it. "Perhaps it was not so random. Perhaps he was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. He was parked on the side of the road in the dark of night. They would randomly pick on him because they can. If he was prey, he was prey, plain and simple. We have evil among us, too. Why else would you think I would have a need to be so protected? It is not just all for show. Random is probably better than deducing actual reasons. Sergeant Finn and his team have their theories and are investigating each and every one of them. The Kindred involved have been killed. They were attempting to Embrace Rory. The soldiers were acting on orders." He watched her closely, hoping she would realise keeping her distance was the best choice, despite wanting to say whatever she needed. "Comme vous voulez," he agreed with a nod.
Buffy wriggled in her seat as she started to feel restless. It always seemed to stem from when she was feeling useless. There was nothing she could do to protect Rory now, and nothing Riley or Blaise would let her do on their turf. She hated being on the bench. She pulled a hair tie off her wrist and put her hair up in a ponytail to at least give her something to do for a few moments. "How often have you been attacked?" she asked him. "Embrace? Shit. They weren't successful though, right? And I just... I know that being with Rory and Riley must look... smell bad. Rory was a drunken mistake. Riley was a surprise. I never thought I'd see him again let alone here in France. We just needed to resolve the past. To be with each other one last time to get closure. He knows my heart will never be for him. He knows it's... that it's for you."
"I am always under threat. At least, my position is. Very few would actually try to personally hurt me. I have adequate means of defending myself against less powerful Kindred. It is more difficult to kill a Kindred than it is a normal vampire..." Blaise trailed off quietly. That wasn't something he had intentions of revealing to her, but it was said now. "Indeed, it is even more difficult to kill a Prince. There will always be others wishing to take my place, however. That is why protection is absolutely vital. More reckless of my Kind may not survive to see their natural end. I learnt very early on that recklessness is one of the worst traits to harbour. Non, they were not successful. The soldiers intercepted just before he lost his life. However, he was drained enough. When he wakes, he may exhibit temporary traits of the Clan that attacked him, if they are inate in him, of course. Anger, perhaps. If it was the Clan I suspect, his temper may be precarious for a little while. He will get better, though. He was not turned, so it will not last."
He fell quiet, holding her gaze. "I do not think you are capable of giving anyone your heart, Buffy," he soon told her. "Least of all me."
Buffy's face twisted like she'd been hit in the stomach, and she hissed out a breath. "Why does everyone doubt that I can give my heart away? I can! I'm not a bitch. I'm not incapable of love. I can love. I just didn't want to let myself because I loved Angel, and look what happened. I loved him, and he turned evil. He tried to kill everyone close to me. He tried to destroy me. And then I had to kill him. I put a sword through the one man I ever loved. Maybe he couldn't love me, but I did love him. And I've never been able to say the words since. It's hard not to assume that the moment I say the words, someone has to die. Literally."
Other than raising an eyebrow, Blaise's face remained unreadable. He wasn't exactly sure why she decided he wanted to hear about this guy, because he really didn't. Especially not what she was saying. "Then perhaps I should have left you with his claim over you," he commented evenly. All Blaise could deduce from what she was saying was that this guy was only ever going to be the sole one she could love. She still sounded hooked on him, intensely hooked. Blaise might have been desperately yearning to love again, but not like this. Not in constant competition of past love she couldn't let go of enough to even tell someone else she loved them.
"That's not what I'm saying!" Buffy cried in frustration as she fought the urge to kick the table away. "I don't know how the hell I'm supposed to explain it to you so you don't think that. And I don't know how to make anyone understand that I'm ready. I want to experience real love. I want to be able to get into it deep, right there with the other person. I'm ready." She blinked back tears of anger and nursed her sore hand carefully. "Riley says you're my type, and maybe he really is right. It's exactly what Rory said, too. I came here for you, and that didn't change. But I'm scared, okay? I'm scared because I don't have all the information. This whole world is new to me. Your world is new to me. And all I have to offer you in return is me, and my trust and my love. It's the one thing no one has ever really had. You'd be a first, Blaise."
It was Blaise's turn to get frustrated. He threw his hands up with a small growl. "You keep pissing off away from me before I can give you any information! First you throw my gifts in my face, and then you run away to sleep with other men! Excuse me for being more than a little discontent in this whole situation. I do not trust you, Buffy. You have given me nothing to trust and the less you have given me, the less I have doubted you even want to or are capable of giving me anything. I cannot sleep with you, so you go away to be with other men? Like my weakness is some sort of bother to you? You could not even wait for that before you were walking away again. I need to feed before I have the ability for sexual contact, but you did not even wait for me to explain that to you."
Buffy blinked, shrinking in her seat as she looked up at him and the guilt started to eat her up. It was a feeding issue? Now she couldn't even remember why she hadn't waited. She'd let Juliette feed on her, she'd stayed with Blaise in his bed for a little while, but when she'd heard Rory was leaving, she was out of there. "Then let me get it right. Please, Blaise. Let me prove to you that you can trust me. I mean it, I'm ready. Riley and me are done. It was just... goodbye."
Blaise pushed off the wall and started to pace back and forth across the room. The only thing was, as he neared her, his senses shifted. There was something different about her. Something else was there, and he stopped abruptly to look at her in question. He couldn't pick up on what it was, though. Whatever it was, it had a strange shiver creeping over his skin. Not necessarily in a bad way, just not in a completely right way, though. And he could still sense both men on her. It was frustrating for him. He gave himself a small shake before starting to pace again, but this time, keeping the distance between them once more. He couldn't decide if he liked the sensation he was getting or not. It was faintly familiar, yet he couldn't recognise it. "You were right. This timing was abysmal. You see, Buffy, I need time to stop and think now if I am willing to lay myself on the line for you. That whole uncertainty over whether you can love anyone else? It's a two way street. And I have a lot to risk. For I fear Sergeant Finn and myself are in a similar boat. Neither of us are really sure exactly what you want from us."
Buffy had been watching him, not exactly sure how she was supposed to take the pacing and the slight shake, but at least he wasn't yelling or growling. And he wasn't ignoring her completely. "I did apologise for that, but I figured I'd just take advantage of the fact that you're stuck here with me with nowhere else to go. You can't avoid listening. Only I get it. This time I really get it. You need time, and I'm okay with that. I can always just go back to Edinburgh. There's things I need to deal with there. A couple hundred things to be exact. The Slayerettes aren't going to be a threat to you, okay? I'm going to find a way to fix what I've done. Riley is my friend. That's what I want from him. But you... You I just want to be with."
"You need to understand more about me before you can make that call," Blaise told her. He was unwilling anymore to just dive in head first. He had made a wrong move in claiming her. He didn't necessarily regret freeing her, even if he was now doubting she wanted that at all, but for his own well-being, the claim had been a bad misjudgement on his part. Something he did, indeed, have to live with now. It was a difficult burden to bear along with the pain he was experiencing in the deep yearning for love. The lethargy was setting back in again, but he hid it well. There would be rest once he knew what the lay of the land was with Rory, and Buffy needed to understand that if it was Brujah that got to him, Rory might not be the most pleasant of souls to be around for the moment. Something Juliette would need reminding of also.
Buffy threw her hands up. "I can't do that if you don't want me near you. I guess this is what they call a catch twenty-two, huh? Just out of interest though, what exactly did you think would happen when you asked Riley and his little group to protect you from me and my Slayers?"
A slight sneer appeared on Blaise's lips. "'Riley and his little group'? You are extremely condescending, and it is highly unattractive. I seem not to be the only one you are lacking information on. His 'little group' is this whole building. He is the commanding officer. And please, do me the honour of returning me to the juncture of the conversation where I said I do not want you anywhere near me. I stated you need more information and I need more time. I am failing to understand how you will get the information without my presence, unless, of course, you are just planning on walking away again. In which case, Mademoiselle, do not plan on coming back. Amusing how they are your Slayers again all of a sudden."
Buffy rest her head in her hand as she tried to work out how she was even supposed to continue the conversation if everything she said was wrong. "They were always my Slayers. I just chose to try and run away for a little while. To have something that was mine. I'm just trying to understand how you want Riley to protect you. I'm sure he said something about not wanting Slayers in your presence. I'm a Slayer. I guess I just made the wrong assumption. Again."
"You need to learn to get your facts straight before you run off half-cocked accusing people. It's irritating. If you can sit here and swear wholeheartedly, with one hundred percent convinction that you can ensure every single one of those Slayers can not and will not be a potential threat if information of Kindred fell into their hands, then I will admit I was in err with my concern. However I know for a fact you cannot ensure that any more than I can ensure all Kindred in France will not attack or kill if the urge takes them. I asked Sergeant Finn and his faction to put into place avenues of protection for all Kindred in all of Europe. You do know he is in command of his group for all of Europe, non? Not just me from you. In fact, if I wanted protection from you, Buffy, I would have Embraced you that night I claimed you. Or I would have paid to have someone else take care of you. Do not underestimate my power, Buffy. It is something I expect respect for, and if you cannot even give me that much, we are a lost cause."
"You also need to have respect for the fact that I wouldn't be a source of information on the Kindred. I haven't breathed a word. Not even my best friends know. Rory is the only one I discuss Kindred with, but only because he knows already." She stood up from her chair as her back straightened and she pulled herself together enough to appear as the leader that she was. Or had been. "You also need to know that I'm already working on a way for the Slayers to no longer be an issue. I made a mistake, it's my responsibility to fix it. So please, just have a little faith in the fact that when it comes to Slayers that I do actually know what I'm talking about. When it comes to Kindred, then I definitely have all respect for your power and your knowledge. Even Riley's. Can we at least call a truce for a week so I can start to get some things in place?"
Blaise shrugged and held a hand up. "What have you given me to respect that, Buffy? Nothing. Respect needs to be earned, and although I'm really not convinced you do actually respect my position and power, I do not think I have given you any reason to deserve the way you have treated me. In fact, the whole thing has just left me extremely confused. You expect me to take your word? Well, I am sorry, I cannot. Not just on this basis. I thought I had your word that you wanted to get to know me more when you came to my home, yet we all know how that turned out, non? I am more than aware of the fact we did not profess our love to each other or declare absolute faithfulness and monogamy. Of course we did not, we hardly know each other. And it is not the fact you slept with Rory and Riley that upset me. Sex does not have the same meaning to me as it does to mortals, and it never will. It was the suggestion of promise. The hope of trust. You just walked out without a word. Then I come to find you in a restaurant with another man, covered in the scent of two? How did you expect me to feel? What did you expect me to deduce? Did you expect me to wait, be left hanging, until you really did choose you were over Sergeant Finn." He paused and straightened up a little. "That is exactly what you hoped, wasn't it? Now you believe you have come to that conclusion, you want to come back to me." He shook his head and took his mobile phone out to check if there was any reception, but there wasn't. "I do not even know what to think. Love is not about being anyone's second best."
"Which is why Riley was never going to be my first," Buffy admitted quietly. "That was what our whole relationship had been about. He always felt second, and there was no way I could ever make him feel first. There still isn't because he knows about you. He understood better what you had given me than I had, and I'm sorry. I really am. Please, just... tell me one thing I can do that will make you at least realise that I am ready to prove that you can trust me. That you are my first choice, not my second."
All Blaise could feel initially was sympathy for Riley. He couldn't think of a worse blow than realising what Buffy had just said, but Riley's words back at his home filtered back to Blaise. The poor guy had known it for a long time. Still, there was something lingering there. Buffy was feeling something. Blaise could sense it, and it had been evident since he walked into the room in her presence. It just seemed awfully convenient that it had only been there since she had spent time with her ex. He just didn't say anything about it. In fact, the whole sensation in Buffy's presence now was completely different to when they had last been alone together and it was confusing. Or maybe, still, he was just ailing and off his game. "I do not know. I guess that is something we will both discover when the time comes," he admitted softly.
Suddenly there was some beeping an an electronic voice announcing the fact that the isolation period was over. Buffy's shoulders slumped before she just sat back down again. She had been sent in here to wait for a reason. She had no idea if Riley had originally planned to throw Blaise in here with her, but she did know that he hadn't wanted her roaming around the military facility. She nodded towards the door. "At least you don't have to be trapped with me anymore. I'll... I'll call you, I guess. It's not like I'll be going back to Edinburgh without Rory." She pressed her lips together before catching Blaise's gaze again. "Can I at least tell his best friend? She should know."
"Of course she should know," Blaise agreed quietly. He grabbed the door and pulled it open, only to just come to stand in the doorway. Just the knowledge he wasn't stuck in there had his discontent ebbing away. If the door was going to close again, his strength would be able to prevent it. It just took all his effort not to have a swipe at her about the being trapped with her comment. What the hell was she playing at trying to continuously indicate he didn't want to be with her? He was going to get fed up fast if he had to keep telling her otherwise, and start believing she was making excuses not to be with him. "She should be here with him. I would like to talk to her myself, in fact. It is something I have been meaning to do. I will see you whenever you decide to deign me with your presence again," he told her and held her gaze.
Buffy sucked in a breath at his last comment, realising they were going to take swipes at each other for a very long time if one of them didn't make the first move. "I'd ask to stay with you, but I..." She gave a shake of her head. "I'll call Airlie and get her here. I don't even know if it'll mean Xander will find out. The two of them... They had a thing. Are having a thing? I haven't even talked to him to find out. Blaise, I want to be around you. In your presence. It's not about me deigning you with mine."
Blaise had been standing with his back leaning against the door jamb as he listened to her. Now he pushed away from it as he heard the elevator open and found Riley stepped out of it, still looking like death warmed up. He turned and held Buffy's gaze intently. "Then prove me wrong, Buffy," he told her, almost a plea to the edge of his tone. "S'il te plait.."
Words: 4956
- Mary O'Hara
Co-written with obscuritenoire
[Follows THIS]
Buffy could only stand there in complete shock after Riley locked her in the interview room with Blaise. Then she frowned as she tried to work out if she could bust open the door, and whether or not Blaise would actually take that as another insult. It wasn't so much that she wanted to run away from him. Of course she didn't. Even if she was trying to subtly sniff herself. Surely the scents of males and sex didn't linger for more than a day... She hadn't slept with Riley since that night. At least she hadn't had sex with him. She had literally slept with him when he wasn't feeling well.
"Um," she began, but then stopped as her brain faltered in giving her anything intelligent to say. If she apologised she would probably get told to fuck off. If she didn't apologise she would be seen as rude, and arrogant. Buffy was in a no win situation and she hated the fact that she was forced to over-analyse. She also hated that there was no way to be able to talk to Blaise like she wanted to talk to him without bringing up a topic he no doubt wanted to avoid like the plague. "I'd say we should play 'I spy' but the room doesn't exactly hold much in the way of objects. How about we just play twenty questions starting with what the hell is going on here?"
Blaise listened as a mechanical voice came through the speaker declaring 'Isolation commenced'. For a few moments, he just stood there and didn't react, though he was trying to figure out what the hell Finn was playing at. Obviously he knew Buffy had been in here and this was all some sort of ruse. He was also trying to decide if he wanted to ruin Finn's career by declaring locking him in a room with a Slayer as going against his orders. He didn't look at Buffy, keeping his back turned on her for a time that probably felt a lot longer than it actually was. He wasn't sure he really could look at her without it infuriating him. But he grabbed his proverbial balls and soon glanced at her over his shoulder before he turned. His eyes were silver, he couldn't deny the fact he was extremely pissed off about being trapped. No vampire, whatever their kind, took well to that. "I would indulge you, mon cherie, but I am more than assured I will not appreciate your answers," he said, his voice oddly calm and even.
Buffy's eyebrows went up as she looked at him, her own anger bubbling to the surface. Maybe she had deserved the jab but it still cut deep and hurt. She paced up and down for a few moments before she took a seat on one side of the table, and spread her fingers against the surface of it to show she wasn't about to go for any kind of weapon. He could see where her hands were at all times. "Screw the appreciation. Just let me have a chance. Any question you want to ask, I'll answer. So long as you tell me if you actually know what's going on here besides Riley clearly losing his marbles and engaging in a backwards game of Cupid. If you want some collateral, I'll give it. If you still want me out of your City, if you want the Slayerettes out of Europe... It's done. You'll never see me again if you still want that after you talk to me. I didn't exactly appreciate Riley being your messenger. You could have just told me face to face."
"You have already given it Mademoiselle Summers. Your friend lying battered and broken in a hospital bed is not enough for you?" Blaise returned, biting off the words. He stayed standing by the door, knowing it was safer to keep his distance for the moment. He had to work intently to keep his reactions in check. He hated the knowledge that he was still weakened. At her last comment, he clneched his fists at his side and pressed his back against the wall as he just stared at her, half in disbelief and half in utter disgust. "Take a number in between you fucking two different men?" he growled. "I would rather not."
The colour drained from Buffy's face as she stared at Blaise, something cold slithering into her stomach. Dread. "What?" she asked hoarsely. "Who was battered?"
Blaise frowned, glancing at the door in confusion as if it would have all the answers. Finn hadn't told Buffy? Oh hell, what an assumption to make. Blaise just assumed because Buffy had been with the soldier, she would be privvy to the information. But of course not. Kindred were involved. Blaise had to be the first point of call. "Rory Buchanan. He was attacked last night on the side of the road. That is why I have been summonsed here."
Buffy jumped out of her chair and came over to the door and started to pound on it. "RILEY! RILEY FINN YOU COME BACK HERE!" She kept pounding on the door until she left a dent in the back of it, but didn't succeed in forcing it open. Her whole body felt like it was shaking as the shock started to set in. She didn't even notice when the side of her hand became bruised and bloody. "Kindred... Kindred did it. And he couldn't tell me because of you," she finally said when she slumped against the door next to Blaise. "Rory was still weak from the last time he got drained. Is he even going to be okay?"
Blaise could smell the blood, but as he looked at her hand, he just still couldn't feel any urge to taste it. He continued to keep his distance and stayed standing where he was. He wouldn't admit to being claustrophobic, but it was pretty damn close. Another difference between him and other kinds of vampire. Most of them wouldn't mind napping in a coffin, but Blaise would tear someone to shreds who tried to get him into one of those. "I do not know. He is apparently sedated. I assume Sergeant Finn is taking Juliette to see him. She will be able to draw conclusions from his wounds, smell certain Clans on him. He is lucky to be alive."
Buffy pressed her forehead against the back of the door and stayed quiet as she tried to catch her breath. "When did it happen? He doesn't... I didn't think Kindred did this kind of thing. But this is two attacks. Both on Rory. How is that fair? He doesn't deserve it. No one deserves it." She pushed back off the door and went back over to sink down into a chair, not even looking at Blaise. The Slayer in her was desperate to get out, and to start hunting, but she'd made a promise. She also didn't know what Riley's team had done to stop the offending Kindred. This wasn't her territory. She really was just in the dark here.
"Who ever said Kindred do not do this sort of thing? Of course they do. Any species living and breathing has the ability to have defectors, people who do not agree with laws and rules. There are Clans who are very susceptible to that. Clans who are, by their very nature, beasts. Clans who are reckless or vindictive. Our Clans are made up of all human traits. The good and the bad. We all have positive and negative traits, just like mortals. Toreador, for example, are thought of to be shallow and vain. Ventrue, power hungry and cold. Gangrel, reckless and indifferent, Brujah, vicious and cunning. They all have good purposes too, however. No leader, no matter how powerful, can ever wish to completely rule their whole race. I cannot keep tabs on every Kindred in France. I can only hope they respect our laws and our boundaries. But just like humans, of course, not always do they do that. His first attack was not a Kindred. I do not know what it was." Blaise stopped talking and closed his eyes briefly, working on keeping himself together.
Buffy thought back to Rory's attack and she gave a nod. "You're right, they weren't. They poofed like the ordinary vamps I'm used to dusting. Not Kindred. Maybe Rory just smells really good to a vamp? I know he does to you... he's been in true love. I just don't understand. Even if you do have defectors in your race, why would they just randomly pick on Rory? That would mean they're just opportunistic. I don't know if it's worse believing this was random, or hoping there's an actual reason for him lying in a hospital bed." She rubbed her hand over her face and sucked in a breath. It was only as she looked down that she even realised she'd hurt herself. And realised that Blaise was hardly about to offer up his insane healing tongue. He wouldn't like what he tasted. "Blaise, there's something I need to say. But I know the timing's bad. Worse than bad."
Blaise ignored her comment about Rory smelling good to him. Scent didn't even come into it. "Perhaps it was not so random. Perhaps he was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. He was parked on the side of the road in the dark of night. They would randomly pick on him because they can. If he was prey, he was prey, plain and simple. We have evil among us, too. Why else would you think I would have a need to be so protected? It is not just all for show. Random is probably better than deducing actual reasons. Sergeant Finn and his team have their theories and are investigating each and every one of them. The Kindred involved have been killed. They were attempting to Embrace Rory. The soldiers were acting on orders." He watched her closely, hoping she would realise keeping her distance was the best choice, despite wanting to say whatever she needed. "Comme vous voulez," he agreed with a nod.
Buffy wriggled in her seat as she started to feel restless. It always seemed to stem from when she was feeling useless. There was nothing she could do to protect Rory now, and nothing Riley or Blaise would let her do on their turf. She hated being on the bench. She pulled a hair tie off her wrist and put her hair up in a ponytail to at least give her something to do for a few moments. "How often have you been attacked?" she asked him. "Embrace? Shit. They weren't successful though, right? And I just... I know that being with Rory and Riley must look... smell bad. Rory was a drunken mistake. Riley was a surprise. I never thought I'd see him again let alone here in France. We just needed to resolve the past. To be with each other one last time to get closure. He knows my heart will never be for him. He knows it's... that it's for you."
"I am always under threat. At least, my position is. Very few would actually try to personally hurt me. I have adequate means of defending myself against less powerful Kindred. It is more difficult to kill a Kindred than it is a normal vampire..." Blaise trailed off quietly. That wasn't something he had intentions of revealing to her, but it was said now. "Indeed, it is even more difficult to kill a Prince. There will always be others wishing to take my place, however. That is why protection is absolutely vital. More reckless of my Kind may not survive to see their natural end. I learnt very early on that recklessness is one of the worst traits to harbour. Non, they were not successful. The soldiers intercepted just before he lost his life. However, he was drained enough. When he wakes, he may exhibit temporary traits of the Clan that attacked him, if they are inate in him, of course. Anger, perhaps. If it was the Clan I suspect, his temper may be precarious for a little while. He will get better, though. He was not turned, so it will not last."
He fell quiet, holding her gaze. "I do not think you are capable of giving anyone your heart, Buffy," he soon told her. "Least of all me."
Buffy's face twisted like she'd been hit in the stomach, and she hissed out a breath. "Why does everyone doubt that I can give my heart away? I can! I'm not a bitch. I'm not incapable of love. I can love. I just didn't want to let myself because I loved Angel, and look what happened. I loved him, and he turned evil. He tried to kill everyone close to me. He tried to destroy me. And then I had to kill him. I put a sword through the one man I ever loved. Maybe he couldn't love me, but I did love him. And I've never been able to say the words since. It's hard not to assume that the moment I say the words, someone has to die. Literally."
Other than raising an eyebrow, Blaise's face remained unreadable. He wasn't exactly sure why she decided he wanted to hear about this guy, because he really didn't. Especially not what she was saying. "Then perhaps I should have left you with his claim over you," he commented evenly. All Blaise could deduce from what she was saying was that this guy was only ever going to be the sole one she could love. She still sounded hooked on him, intensely hooked. Blaise might have been desperately yearning to love again, but not like this. Not in constant competition of past love she couldn't let go of enough to even tell someone else she loved them.
"That's not what I'm saying!" Buffy cried in frustration as she fought the urge to kick the table away. "I don't know how the hell I'm supposed to explain it to you so you don't think that. And I don't know how to make anyone understand that I'm ready. I want to experience real love. I want to be able to get into it deep, right there with the other person. I'm ready." She blinked back tears of anger and nursed her sore hand carefully. "Riley says you're my type, and maybe he really is right. It's exactly what Rory said, too. I came here for you, and that didn't change. But I'm scared, okay? I'm scared because I don't have all the information. This whole world is new to me. Your world is new to me. And all I have to offer you in return is me, and my trust and my love. It's the one thing no one has ever really had. You'd be a first, Blaise."
It was Blaise's turn to get frustrated. He threw his hands up with a small growl. "You keep pissing off away from me before I can give you any information! First you throw my gifts in my face, and then you run away to sleep with other men! Excuse me for being more than a little discontent in this whole situation. I do not trust you, Buffy. You have given me nothing to trust and the less you have given me, the less I have doubted you even want to or are capable of giving me anything. I cannot sleep with you, so you go away to be with other men? Like my weakness is some sort of bother to you? You could not even wait for that before you were walking away again. I need to feed before I have the ability for sexual contact, but you did not even wait for me to explain that to you."
Buffy blinked, shrinking in her seat as she looked up at him and the guilt started to eat her up. It was a feeding issue? Now she couldn't even remember why she hadn't waited. She'd let Juliette feed on her, she'd stayed with Blaise in his bed for a little while, but when she'd heard Rory was leaving, she was out of there. "Then let me get it right. Please, Blaise. Let me prove to you that you can trust me. I mean it, I'm ready. Riley and me are done. It was just... goodbye."
Blaise pushed off the wall and started to pace back and forth across the room. The only thing was, as he neared her, his senses shifted. There was something different about her. Something else was there, and he stopped abruptly to look at her in question. He couldn't pick up on what it was, though. Whatever it was, it had a strange shiver creeping over his skin. Not necessarily in a bad way, just not in a completely right way, though. And he could still sense both men on her. It was frustrating for him. He gave himself a small shake before starting to pace again, but this time, keeping the distance between them once more. He couldn't decide if he liked the sensation he was getting or not. It was faintly familiar, yet he couldn't recognise it. "You were right. This timing was abysmal. You see, Buffy, I need time to stop and think now if I am willing to lay myself on the line for you. That whole uncertainty over whether you can love anyone else? It's a two way street. And I have a lot to risk. For I fear Sergeant Finn and myself are in a similar boat. Neither of us are really sure exactly what you want from us."
Buffy had been watching him, not exactly sure how she was supposed to take the pacing and the slight shake, but at least he wasn't yelling or growling. And he wasn't ignoring her completely. "I did apologise for that, but I figured I'd just take advantage of the fact that you're stuck here with me with nowhere else to go. You can't avoid listening. Only I get it. This time I really get it. You need time, and I'm okay with that. I can always just go back to Edinburgh. There's things I need to deal with there. A couple hundred things to be exact. The Slayerettes aren't going to be a threat to you, okay? I'm going to find a way to fix what I've done. Riley is my friend. That's what I want from him. But you... You I just want to be with."
"You need to understand more about me before you can make that call," Blaise told her. He was unwilling anymore to just dive in head first. He had made a wrong move in claiming her. He didn't necessarily regret freeing her, even if he was now doubting she wanted that at all, but for his own well-being, the claim had been a bad misjudgement on his part. Something he did, indeed, have to live with now. It was a difficult burden to bear along with the pain he was experiencing in the deep yearning for love. The lethargy was setting back in again, but he hid it well. There would be rest once he knew what the lay of the land was with Rory, and Buffy needed to understand that if it was Brujah that got to him, Rory might not be the most pleasant of souls to be around for the moment. Something Juliette would need reminding of also.
Buffy threw her hands up. "I can't do that if you don't want me near you. I guess this is what they call a catch twenty-two, huh? Just out of interest though, what exactly did you think would happen when you asked Riley and his little group to protect you from me and my Slayers?"
A slight sneer appeared on Blaise's lips. "'Riley and his little group'? You are extremely condescending, and it is highly unattractive. I seem not to be the only one you are lacking information on. His 'little group' is this whole building. He is the commanding officer. And please, do me the honour of returning me to the juncture of the conversation where I said I do not want you anywhere near me. I stated you need more information and I need more time. I am failing to understand how you will get the information without my presence, unless, of course, you are just planning on walking away again. In which case, Mademoiselle, do not plan on coming back. Amusing how they are your Slayers again all of a sudden."
Buffy rest her head in her hand as she tried to work out how she was even supposed to continue the conversation if everything she said was wrong. "They were always my Slayers. I just chose to try and run away for a little while. To have something that was mine. I'm just trying to understand how you want Riley to protect you. I'm sure he said something about not wanting Slayers in your presence. I'm a Slayer. I guess I just made the wrong assumption. Again."
"You need to learn to get your facts straight before you run off half-cocked accusing people. It's irritating. If you can sit here and swear wholeheartedly, with one hundred percent convinction that you can ensure every single one of those Slayers can not and will not be a potential threat if information of Kindred fell into their hands, then I will admit I was in err with my concern. However I know for a fact you cannot ensure that any more than I can ensure all Kindred in France will not attack or kill if the urge takes them. I asked Sergeant Finn and his faction to put into place avenues of protection for all Kindred in all of Europe. You do know he is in command of his group for all of Europe, non? Not just me from you. In fact, if I wanted protection from you, Buffy, I would have Embraced you that night I claimed you. Or I would have paid to have someone else take care of you. Do not underestimate my power, Buffy. It is something I expect respect for, and if you cannot even give me that much, we are a lost cause."
"You also need to have respect for the fact that I wouldn't be a source of information on the Kindred. I haven't breathed a word. Not even my best friends know. Rory is the only one I discuss Kindred with, but only because he knows already." She stood up from her chair as her back straightened and she pulled herself together enough to appear as the leader that she was. Or had been. "You also need to know that I'm already working on a way for the Slayers to no longer be an issue. I made a mistake, it's my responsibility to fix it. So please, just have a little faith in the fact that when it comes to Slayers that I do actually know what I'm talking about. When it comes to Kindred, then I definitely have all respect for your power and your knowledge. Even Riley's. Can we at least call a truce for a week so I can start to get some things in place?"
Blaise shrugged and held a hand up. "What have you given me to respect that, Buffy? Nothing. Respect needs to be earned, and although I'm really not convinced you do actually respect my position and power, I do not think I have given you any reason to deserve the way you have treated me. In fact, the whole thing has just left me extremely confused. You expect me to take your word? Well, I am sorry, I cannot. Not just on this basis. I thought I had your word that you wanted to get to know me more when you came to my home, yet we all know how that turned out, non? I am more than aware of the fact we did not profess our love to each other or declare absolute faithfulness and monogamy. Of course we did not, we hardly know each other. And it is not the fact you slept with Rory and Riley that upset me. Sex does not have the same meaning to me as it does to mortals, and it never will. It was the suggestion of promise. The hope of trust. You just walked out without a word. Then I come to find you in a restaurant with another man, covered in the scent of two? How did you expect me to feel? What did you expect me to deduce? Did you expect me to wait, be left hanging, until you really did choose you were over Sergeant Finn." He paused and straightened up a little. "That is exactly what you hoped, wasn't it? Now you believe you have come to that conclusion, you want to come back to me." He shook his head and took his mobile phone out to check if there was any reception, but there wasn't. "I do not even know what to think. Love is not about being anyone's second best."
"Which is why Riley was never going to be my first," Buffy admitted quietly. "That was what our whole relationship had been about. He always felt second, and there was no way I could ever make him feel first. There still isn't because he knows about you. He understood better what you had given me than I had, and I'm sorry. I really am. Please, just... tell me one thing I can do that will make you at least realise that I am ready to prove that you can trust me. That you are my first choice, not my second."
All Blaise could feel initially was sympathy for Riley. He couldn't think of a worse blow than realising what Buffy had just said, but Riley's words back at his home filtered back to Blaise. The poor guy had known it for a long time. Still, there was something lingering there. Buffy was feeling something. Blaise could sense it, and it had been evident since he walked into the room in her presence. It just seemed awfully convenient that it had only been there since she had spent time with her ex. He just didn't say anything about it. In fact, the whole sensation in Buffy's presence now was completely different to when they had last been alone together and it was confusing. Or maybe, still, he was just ailing and off his game. "I do not know. I guess that is something we will both discover when the time comes," he admitted softly.
Suddenly there was some beeping an an electronic voice announcing the fact that the isolation period was over. Buffy's shoulders slumped before she just sat back down again. She had been sent in here to wait for a reason. She had no idea if Riley had originally planned to throw Blaise in here with her, but she did know that he hadn't wanted her roaming around the military facility. She nodded towards the door. "At least you don't have to be trapped with me anymore. I'll... I'll call you, I guess. It's not like I'll be going back to Edinburgh without Rory." She pressed her lips together before catching Blaise's gaze again. "Can I at least tell his best friend? She should know."
"Of course she should know," Blaise agreed quietly. He grabbed the door and pulled it open, only to just come to stand in the doorway. Just the knowledge he wasn't stuck in there had his discontent ebbing away. If the door was going to close again, his strength would be able to prevent it. It just took all his effort not to have a swipe at her about the being trapped with her comment. What the hell was she playing at trying to continuously indicate he didn't want to be with her? He was going to get fed up fast if he had to keep telling her otherwise, and start believing she was making excuses not to be with him. "She should be here with him. I would like to talk to her myself, in fact. It is something I have been meaning to do. I will see you whenever you decide to deign me with your presence again," he told her and held her gaze.
Buffy sucked in a breath at his last comment, realising they were going to take swipes at each other for a very long time if one of them didn't make the first move. "I'd ask to stay with you, but I..." She gave a shake of her head. "I'll call Airlie and get her here. I don't even know if it'll mean Xander will find out. The two of them... They had a thing. Are having a thing? I haven't even talked to him to find out. Blaise, I want to be around you. In your presence. It's not about me deigning you with mine."
Blaise had been standing with his back leaning against the door jamb as he listened to her. Now he pushed away from it as he heard the elevator open and found Riley stepped out of it, still looking like death warmed up. He turned and held Buffy's gaze intently. "Then prove me wrong, Buffy," he told her, almost a plea to the edge of his tone. "S'il te plait.."
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